Rachel
Dedicated September 2021

Future mil vent - thoughts?

Rachel, on August 5, 2021 at 10:41 AM Posted in Planning 0 13
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So with the Covid delta variant raging and now hitting kids and teens, my FH said he wanted to keep kids ( he has four, I have one teen) safe so they are not sick at the wedding in two short weeks. Well, his MIL calls and is freaking out that she wants to take the kids all these places ( restaurants, beaches etc) He said please let's b e safe, the kids are literally the bridal party,, HIs mom said well if they get sick me or your dad will stay home with them. I heard that and was like WTH??? what a horrible thing to say, how insulting. So basically it is of little importance for them or kids ?? We are only having 30 people and the kids are our bridal party. Not to mention if one gets covid then they are all needing to quarantine since you can't bring them to a venue! I don't understand why they can't be patient and just see the kids and spend time without having to take them all over.

A couple weeks ago he asked them to be safe, not go inside places when they took them out and they said ok. then he found out they were in a busy shopping mall, in a restaurant for two hours, amongst other things. I don't get it.. but I think its so ignorant. Am I wrong to be frustrated. Also my daughter just got the vaccine so I would like to avoid her getting it since she is older and teenage kids are getting this bad now.. uggg

13 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on August 5, 2021 at 8:43 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    At the end of the day, you & your fiancé can make the final decision since its your kids. Yes she might not like it, but oh well. Do they ever go anywhere? Like any stores or anything? If so that will probably be her next argument, that they can catch covid at a gas station or store just as they can in a restaurant or at a beach. Just curious, would you allow them to go if they took the proper precautions? (Mask, sanitizer, social distancing etc)

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  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2021
    Rachel ·
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    Well we were doing mostly out door things with them. ( pool, some outside restaurants, mini golf) but when she gets them she takes them to mall, restaurants even with him asking to please not to so he is hesitant for them to take them since he can't believe they're going to respect his wishes. its frustrating. I just felt the comment " well we will stay home if they get sick " was super rude and shows how little she cares. She also has shown zero interest in this since day one..

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    At the end of the day they're your kids, tell her no. Yeah, it's going to upset her, but if you truly don't want them going out to these places and you're aware she's not listening to you then you have to actually enforce your boundaries with her. She takes them there because she knows you won't do anything about it, so actually cut her off.

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  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2021
    Rachel ·
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    Yes yesterday he told her, we are just keeping kids in so everyone is good and healthy for wedding since we would have to cancel if they get sick. her first thing was that she would stay home with them. He told her we literally would have eloped but we want kids part of it. she was very upset with him. Idk I am sure I will be the bad guy.

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  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
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    I agree with the PPs....your kids, your rules! If his mom doesn't want to respect your wishes, she doesn't get to hang out with the kids. I think you'd be totally, absolutely justified to set and enforce this boundary. I think it will be a very productive exercise in the long term (although uncomfortable at the time!)

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    If she's crazy now she's always gonna be crazy lol. It's not fun to be the one who gets blamed, but at least you and your FH know that it's just her being ridiculous. My MIL hates me for her own reasons that would've affected anyone who ended up with her son, so I just let her be nuts and blame me and I ignore it. All it's done is worsened her relationship with my fiancé by her own doing. The sooner both of you shut her down and don't let her get away with stuff the sooner she'll have to get her act together if she actually wants to see your kids and be a part of their lives. It sounds like you're both on the same page, which is great. Keep being a strong, united front against her. It's uncomfortable now but it'll make your lives easier in the long run.

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Yes that's crazy, she has to realize that she's just the grandparent in the situation not the parent so she needs to respect you and your fiancés wishes.

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  • Melissa
    Dedicated March 2022
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I think you both need to put your foot down and say 1. they are your kids and you make the decisions for them and 2. that it is also your wedding and you want the kids there so they need to respect your boundaries. That's what it sounds like to me, that your MIL does not respect your boundaries, at all.

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  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2021
    Rachel ·
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    She doesn't at all. She was coming and taking laundry out of the house and I freaked.

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  • Melissa
    Dedicated March 2022
    Melissa ·
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    Then tell her no. Not her house. Not her kids. Boundaries are key!
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  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2021
    Rachel ·
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    Yea. I did. and she is not the same since.. oh well

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  • Melissa
    Dedicated March 2022
    Melissa ·
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    Then that is her issue to deal with. Good for you for standing up for what is best for you and your family.
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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    Can you stop allowing them to see the kids until after the wedding?
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