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Just Said Yes September 2019

Future mil not doing well

Miranda, on August 31, 2019 at 1:24 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11

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I am at a complete loss here...
We are 8 days out from our wedding and my future brother in law just informed us my fiance's mom is in the hospital with low BP and chest pains.
For context, she has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed over a year ago so she's clearly a fighter. But my FH saw her a couple of days ago and stated she was not looking well. In his words "it looks like she is holding on for the wedding".
I am lost, I'm sad, and I'm conflicted. I don't know how to be there or what to do for my FH (he's an internalizer with his feelings), I'm sad at the thought of her possibly not making it to the wedding and dare I say it...I'm conflicted about what will happen with our wedding if she passes away before the day.
Has anyone out there heard of anyone or dealt with anything like this. I just want to be prepared for anything...😢

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on August 31, 2019 at 6:55 PM

Master October 2019
Laura · on August 31, 2019 at 1:26 AM
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My friend had planned her wedding for a year. The morning of her wedding her father passed away from a heart attack. She nearly cancelled but knew he would have wanted her to have it go on. It was a bit sadder than a wedding should be, but she knew how he'd looked forward to it and had it in his honor. I think she'd probably want you two to still get married. It's hard, I know from experience, I lost my mom and dad three years apart. I would say still get married
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on August 31, 2019 at 7:22 AM
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I’m so sorry to hear you are dealing with this. I would say you and your FH should talk right away and make sure you’re on the same page with anything that might happen and how you will proceed. It’s tough to think about but it sounds like it’s inevitable so try to prepare yourselves. Good luck.
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on August 31, 2019 at 9:12 AM
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If she's holding on...give her something to hold on for. Celebrate her now and pray she'll be there. If she passes still have it. She is hus mom she'd want him to go on that's why she fights.
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VIP January 2026
Chariece & Sterling · on August 31, 2019 at 9:22 AM
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Sending positive thoughts and prayers for you FMIL.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on August 31, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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My uncle died of a massive heart attack less than a week before one of his son's wedding. They went ahead with everything they'd planned, knowing his dad wouldn't have wanted them to change anything. Thoughts & prayers with you, FH, and your extended families....
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Devoted September 2019
Caitlyn · on August 31, 2019 at 11:51 AM
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So sorry to hear this! I cannot imagine what you two are going through. If her health continues to decline, would it be possible to have a small ceremony at the hospital and go on with the wedding as planned on the scheduled day? That way - no matter what happens - she'll get to see her son get married (maybe twice in one week).
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Master March 2015
Susan · on August 31, 2019 at 12:22 PM
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I had an emergency hospital wedding 2.5 onths early. Dad was not doing well, also a cancer patient, I put my dress on, got my BM's in dresses and got the minister and a cake. 14 people including us and dad. That was my legal wedding, so my dying father could see it. He was not going to last 2.5 more months let alone walk me down and 80ft long aisle. He died 4 .5 days later. When the big day rolled around, everyone knew and nobody cared. If this is an option take it!
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Devoted August 2020
McKenzie · on August 31, 2019 at 12:26 PM
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I geared up reading this, this is such a beautiful idea 💕
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Devoted August 2020
McKenzie · on August 31, 2019 at 12:27 PM
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**teared up
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January 2014
Pam · on August 31, 2019 at 6:44 PM
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I couldn't agree more.
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Master 0000
Judith · on August 31, 2019 at 6:55 PM
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Plan to have the wedding . It is what she would want. But if it works out, she may get a lot of pleasure if you would both dress up, gown and suit, and both give her a visit as a memory. When you are not present, other people will talk about it, and give them a happy thing to talk about with her. She does not came about hair and makeup, she wants to picture in her head, my son is going to be married.
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Future mil not doing well

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