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Blahboo
Savvy June 2020

Future mil and sil drama continues

Blahboo, on September 27, 2019 at 3:11 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
Hi All,

so since wedding planning it has made these relationships difficult to my future mil asking if her neighbors (who I have never have met) can come to the wedding, his sister trying to get more attention wanting to sing at our wedding and dance their traditional dance (which my man said no thankfully)....


Recently I threw a family dinner with my mans family because I wanted to try and make an effort and try to mend the bridges .. the dinner was meant to start 5.30 I had purchased food and cooked everything and they didn’t get to our house until 7.15 .

they didn’t message or call me to let me know their excuses where his mum “had a physio appointment” “and his sister needed to get the cakes that his mum made from the home” ( even though his sister usually gets home at 6 and we live 10 mins away from them and I already told the mil I had brought a cake) ...


I’m completely upset and hurt by their actions and lack of empathy...


Any advice? I know I can’t change them they will never appreciate or love me which hurts but I’m not sure how to approach it going forward ...


Any advice or personal experiences??



8 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on September 29, 2019 at 6:35 PM
  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Grin and bear it? See a therapist because you’ll need it( I know I do). Sit down with FH & them and talk it out? And remember YOU LOVE HIM AND HE LOVES YOU, AND IT *IS* WORTH IT!
    I have my future MIL & SD that are like this( SD is worse tho: lives w/us, works for daddy, does taekwando w/daddy & now has joined the gym he & I go to! She’s 23!) and it’s beyond hard. It’s caused health issues to crop up and some to worsen severely( had a stroke after one of Darling FSD tantrums, bc of the stress)
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  • Allaura
    Devoted April 2021
    Allaura ·
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    I’d just stop. Lol stop doing things for them, stop inviting them to dinner and over in general. That’s what I did.
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    I would get your man to talk to his parents to explain your point of view but to make it his point of view when he talks with them. It’s usually best that the man talks to his parents when things like this need to be addressed and vice versa.
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    I also agree with Allaura tho more so than what I just wrote. There are different approaches to take on this. When there was constant drama from my MIL during the planning process I just stopped putting effort into her and the drama and kept my distance because it was tearing me apart and I needed to be happy
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I used to this my husband's family wasn't so fond of me but over time it was because we really didn't even know each other. Personally I'd just grin and bear it for the sake of my husband. But I understand it can be a lot.
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  • C
    Dedicated October 2019
    Caitlin ·
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    Advice based on experience with MIL and SIL drama -- stop catering to them. Honestly. I'm not saying be actively mean, but I would not go out of your way to do anything with or for them. Once they think they can walk all over you, they will. I'd sit down with your man and have a very direct conversation about this. Tell him that you love him and will be civil for him, but that's it.

    Personally, I went out of my way to try and mend/build relationships and it completely blew up in my face. Not worth it.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I agree with PPs advice. Stop bending over backward for them if they can't even appreciate anything you do!

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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    I agree! and lower your expectations. It sucks that they aren't doing anything to better the relationship, but you have done enough, it's not worth it for you anymore imo.

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