Future In-laws problem: Invite or no?

If they’re THAT against it AND would have to travel cross country to be there, I kinda doubt they’d show up. Given that, I might invite them, because not inviting them is often a relationship ending move. Is your FH really ready for that?

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Invite them and if they show you did a nice gesture.

It’s your FH’s decision. Support his choice and let him know that. It may be nice to invite them (extends no the olive branch) and if they don’t go, that’s on them.

I feel like your best move here is to honestly stay out of it. Let him make the decision 100% on his own and support him either way. Don’t try to sway his decision at all. then if he decides he doesn’t want them there he’ll know it was totally his choice. You don’t want to influence him (even inadvertently) into making a decision that’ll probably permanently cut his family out of his life, and for him to later have regrets and blame you for it.


I know it’s tough to stay out of it especially when you’re watching him be mistreated, but I’d just keep reminding him you love him no matter what and you’ll support his choice either way.

View Quoted Comment I agree Kristen

Tough one but let him make the decision. Has he talked to them about their behavior? People will only treat you as much as you allow. He needs to step up and basically shut that all the way down (respectfully since they are his parents) but yeah I’d let him make that decision. Or you extend the invite and if they don’t show cool. If they do, cool but they need to be respectful and supportive or stay they azzez home. Lol.
good luck

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with Gen. As hard as it will be, stay out of the decision and just support your FH.


Best wishes - I know this has to be a really tough time.

View Quoted Comment This 100%


Not only is it not on you to make this decision..but it's not one that you should have any say in. This is his responsibility and his alone.

Yeah, this is definitely something that your FH has to decide as it's his parents.

I would invite them and if they don’t come it’s their decision. But I think this could cause regrets down the road.

View Quoted Comment This is spot on. It’s his relationships that will be impacted so you should stay away from influencing the decision at all.

This is a decision for your FH.

If you're that young, they're probably right and just dont want to see you two make mistakes.
But it's your fiances choice. Not yours. I personally wouldn't marry a man whose relationship with his own family was so rocky that he couldn't invite them to his own wedding.

Encourage FI to cut back contact of all kinds when he moves, til about 3 months before the wedding. It they try to connect, say he is taking a break, because they have been so negative about you marrying. And maybe they can do all 2 months before the wedding. Then, 2 me nths out, when things have simmered down, FI can work things out, with you staying out of it. They may have a change of heart, learned their mistake and decided it is more important to be in son's life than to be right or wrong as in previous garbage. If they want a new start, and him too, he can invite them then. Otherwise, he can decide, they will not be invited to the wedding. But put things on hold while he moves to live with you. This part, separating from home, being an independent adult, is a difficult time for many parents and grown children. He was willing to live with them before, using them to keep his expenses down, like a younger dependent son. They were acting like parents of a dependent child. So making a break, redefining things to being parents of a grown adult finally standing on his own, may be a necessary transition. It would be nice to start your marriage with at least a truce, and them not getting involved except as visitors for your wedding.