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Just Said Yes December 2022

Future fil doesnt like me

Donna, on April 6, 2021 at 9:20 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

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My fiance and I told each of his family members one by one after the engagement. Last being his dad. His dad was supposed to be his best man but the next few days after telling everyone his tuned changed from excited to telling my fiance to drop me and walk away. I havent done anything to this man and he refuses to get to know me. I've gotten a bad rep with his family becasue they are religious and I'm a 25 yr old mother of 2 who is divorced. My fiance has never been married and doesnt have kids. His dad had a vision for him in a wife and children and didnt expect him to basically have a premade family. I'm not sure what to do at this point to smooth things over. His dad refuses to talk to me

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Tera, on April 7, 2021 at 12:45 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 6, 2021 at 9:29 PM
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I'm so sorry. Future FIL is a jerk, and you do not deserve this. I don't think there is anything you can do since you literally did nothing wrong. Your fiance needs to talk to his and tell him that he needs to put aside whatever beliefs he has and either support his son or see a rift in their relationships. This is 1 of those situations where he needs to have your back 100%.
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Dedicated August 2021
Katie · on April 6, 2021 at 10:01 PM
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I feel your pain! I’m so sorry. You are definitely not alone in this. At this point I would say it’s up to your fiancé to either talk to him or just make peace with it for yourself so that it is not affecting you so much. This definitely isn’t on you and you deserve to be happy with your soon to be husband, whether you are what his father pictured for his son or not!!! Try not to let it get to you so much. I’m so sorry it really is an awful feeling! And I really hope you are not feeling bad about yourself/ your relationship because of this. Try to not dwell on it too much
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Master 0000
Judith · on April 6, 2021 at 10:32 PM
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Over time he likely will see your value, if he does not feel pushed or pressured.
Any push he will take as a challenge of his morals, and the fights would be bloody. Be civil, and neutral, as you would be to the census taker or the people who fix your car.
His own son may say to others, Dad is upholding his morals and standards. We are all surprised, as we never expected he would treat others rudely or without respect, because he did not get to choose his son's wife.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on April 6, 2021 at 11:35 PM
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There's nothing you can do. It's his loss.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on April 7, 2021 at 8:23 AM
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That’s unfortunate. But, certain religious beliefs and parental beliefs aren’t going to change (and it really wouldn’t be right to feel like he should automatically change what he believes, simply because his son proposed to you). Some things take a little more time to accept. But your relationship with his father will likely increase the more you all interact with your FIL.
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Dedicated June 2020
Tera · on April 7, 2021 at 12:45 PM
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Don’t worry about smoothing things over. You haven’t done anything wrong. Just focus on preparing for your marriage. His views may never change but maybe he will become more accepting with time. If he has a heart how can he dislike his son’s wife forever. I mean so what if you are divorced with kids. No one goes into marriage wishing for divorce; things happen and sometimes it’s the best choice so no one should judge for that. His son obviously loves you and your kids enough to become a family; that’s the most important thing.
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