fsil as bridesmaid? Help!

You're not close, don't have her in your bridal party. She's allowed to be upset, she will get over it.

I wouldn't have her either. The BP is supposed to be people you feel close to and can depend on. You clearly don't know her like that, and if it makes her mad, that will be feeling she has to deal with. If she brings it up to you, simply tell her you didn't realize she felt so close to you & that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, and offer her some other place of importance, like helping with decor or something so she might still feel important without having to place her into your immediate circle of people.

You're not alone either -- My FH feels a million times closer to my brother than his own brothers. My brother will be one of his groomsmen, and if his brothers desire, they'll be welcome to participate in other ways, but FH decided early on he wanted the guys he feels closest to & that he can count on with him

There's always a risk of blowback but it's your choice of who is standing up there with you and it should be someone you really want there. I was not a BM in my brothers wedding. No one likes my SIL for soooo many reasons but we have always all be cordial to her and supportive of my brothers relationship. I wasn't hurt, honestly I didn't want to have to spend that much time with her so I was almost relived. They did ask me to do a reading which went terrible since the pastor literally did the exact same reading before introducing me and not being religious I couldn't just pull another one out of my butt.

FH's sisters (who are 10 & 11 years older than me) are both BM's but we have always had a great relationship. My brother is not a GM, again, he is just not a pleasant person to be around, especially when his wife is there. I made sure FH did not feel obligated to involve him.

We are asking both my brother and FH's BIL (who also is unliked by the whole family...including is wife 98% of the time) to be ushers but thats really more just to keep the peace.

You are by no means obligated to have her in your party. If you don't feel close to her, don't have her in the party.

Yeah, I agree with others. Don't include her. Yes, she might be mad; but since you don't really talk to her, she probably won't tell you. I had a similar situation with my BIL's girlfriend. She was mad she wasn't included in things. But we weren't friends and we still aren't. Unfortunately, she did tell me about it, but I just stood my ground and told her why. Thankfully the rest of the family agreed and it sounds like your fiance will back you up. You are going to want to look back on this day and see the faces of those you love and who love you in your bridal party, not the faces of people who you included out of obligation.