Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Sierra
Beginner May 2021

fsil as a bridesmaid?

Sierra, on January 28, 2020 at 4:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
Saved
Reply
Hello fellow brides! I need some advice. My FSIL is 35 years old, and has some mental handicaps. We don’t have a bad relationship at all, but we are not very close as we live a few hours away and are in college. My FH and I are having 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen including MOH and BM. I have 6 very close friends that I am asking to be my bridesmaids. Also, my 9 year old sister is going to be a Junior maid of honor, which makes 7 counting her. I feel like my FSIL is expecting to be a bridesmaid, and I really really do not want to hurt her feelings. But I do want things to go smoothly on wedding day. I don’t want to ask her to be a bridesmaid, but wouldn’t mind if I assigned her to a role? Maybe keeping guest book? My FH said not to worry about it but I can’t help but worry. Thoughts? TIA💓

8 Comments

Latest activity by KAREN, on January 29, 2020 at 1:15 PM
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    She could stand on your fiancé's side? The sides don't need to be gender specific.
    My experience: My sister is 35 and is handicapped. She functions at around age 5 and is sensitive to crowds and overstimulation. As a result, she won't be attending the wedding. I am SUPER closer with her. I want her there so badly but know it would be horrible for her. Our compromise was that someone is bringing her to see me at the venue during the short gap between ceremony and cocktail hour so that she can see me in my dress and we can take some photos.
    It really depends on your FSIL's needs. It sounds, based on your post, that she is functioning at a higher age than my sister and could play a larger part. If she is close with your fiancé I think it would be important to include her in a meaningful way- and possibly have her as a groomswoman (IF appropriate for her needs).

    • Reply
  • Sierra
    Beginner May 2021
    Sierra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    That sounds lovely for you and your sister! My FSIL does get nervous around large crowds. She functions at about the age of a 13 year old. She is social, but has bad anxiety and is very self conscious Smiley sad She loves children though. We are trying to find something for her to do that will make her feel included and not cause too much stress.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    What about having her as an adult flower girl?
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    It sounds like having her stand in front of a crowd may be too anxiety inducing for her, then.
    Are you having a lot of children at the wedding? I've been to weddings where they had an activities table set up for kids- colouring, books, etc. You could put her in charge of picking some things out and helping set that up?
    You could also make her a bridesmaid/groomswoman but make it clear she doesn't have to stand in front of the group (or sit at the head table, etc.) if she doesn't want to. But give her the title, let her wear the same dress, etc. Even give her a bouquet. Make her feel special, too.

    Just thinking of some options but it all depends on what you guys think is appropriate !

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I don't know if keeping the guest book even counts as a job. If you don't want her as a bridesmaid and your fiance doesn't want her as a groomswoman, I would just include her in things like the bridal shower & getting ready with you guys before the wedding.

    • Reply
  • S
    December 2020
    Shelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree that she could act as the flower girl. She would probably enjoy wearing the fancy dress and being in the wedding, especially since your sister is involved.

    • Reply
  • Sierra
    Beginner May 2021
    Sierra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you guys so much! I love the different ideas! Me and my fiancé have a few options now Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    KAREN ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would include her in something, but no, she does not have to be a bridesmaid at all.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics