Frustrated with Old Friends' (lack of) rsvp

I don't think that would be petty at all. It's common, and recommended, to let people know that if you don't receive a response from them, they will be counted as a no. That way it's clear that if they decide to show up unannounced, there won't be a seat or a plate for them.

Just the fact that they left you on read and haven't responded would have me remove them from the wedding. I wouldn't hold a seat for anyone that didn't rsvp with you. I feel your pain im waiting on my aunt to tell me if shes coming and shes a month late on the rsvp but she just asked me for an extension. So im holding her three seats till a couple more weeks till her deadline she gave me. But those friends have a history of not showing up to a wedding and wont respond to you so id remove them. The wedding is too close for you to have to worry and paying for there head count would piss me off. Save a seat but not a plate. Mt dad said anyone who comes to the wedding that didn't rsvp can bring a seat and join us but don't expect a plate. You gave people plenty of time to put in a request at work for one day off. Send them a message saying if they don't give you an answer on if they are coming that you will save a seat for them but will not buy a plate. Maybe that will prompt them to respond.

I would try not to stress it anymore.. You already have paid, figured out the seating chart with them in attendance and it's more of a hassle to change everything for a no. I would try to let it go.. I don't agree with what they are doing, but continuing to stress about if they are a yes/no still seems to be causing you undo stress. Try to leave it as is and focus on your frustration with them AFTER the day is over.

I don't think that is petty. We have had a couple of guests not understand what an RSVP is or what is involved in planning a wedding. One actually "tried to surprise" my FW by not replying to her texts asking for their new address. She was coming in to town and wanted to get the invitation then. I only found out through her son who is our caterer and gave me the address. They still never RSVP'd but he assured me his parents would be there. Cut to them coming in to town for a separate event and we all go out to dinner with another friend of my FW's who did not receive an invite and said friend tells us to give her invite to this friend, right in front of her. I was fuming!!! Now she says she'll be there but no word on her husband and she's riding with her son who again, is our caterer so I guess she's just planning to hang around all morning? If anything about this wedding caused tension between my FW and I, it was this. I am not shy about calling people out when they're wrong but she is more passive and just hates that I'm upset.

It's frustrating. i'm 11 days days away and I think i've gotten 5 RVSP's of the 75 invites i've sent out. I set an October 1st reply by date...didn't help. thankfully many of them had responded to our Event page on Facebook. I wish I hadn't wasted the postage

Nothing wrong letting them know if you don't hear by a certain date, then you will put them down as a "no".

My ridicules RSVP story though is that we had 2 daughters marry 4 months apart last year. We had to literally follow up with the same people for RSVP's at both weddings! The funny part though was that one of them got married this year and was on FB complaining about not getting RSVP's. I wanted to comment so bad, but didn't.

I would've already removed them! I wouldn't try to let it ruin your friendship, perhaps there's something crazy going on? I had several friends and FAMILY I never heard from, and sent in the last two reminders that if we didn't hear anything we would assume they were a 'No'.

Perhaps she will learn how annoying it is when plans her own wedding!

Ooooh I had to chase down my husbands family too Not fun, but eventually we heard from most of them.

This sucks, sorry you are going through this. I had at least 60% of my guestlist just send me a message on facebook or text to RSVP instead of actually RSVPing using our website -_-

I really like what you've suggested. Straight to the point, respectful and effective. It's sad if it really has to come to this, but it's our wedding, darn it! We shouldn't be hunting people down for a simple yes or no response.

It's not petty at all to say that. They are being rude by not replying. I would have called and left voicemails asking about the deadline too. It sounds like they just 110% suck as people, and they've done this to another "friend" before. You just have to take the hit on the cost of their plates, I wouldn't have included them on the final count, but again that is the petty side of me talking.

I agree too that I wouldn't really want anything to do with them after the wedding either. It is extremely rude to do that to a friend, it takes two seconds to text back "no".

Hopefully someone gives them a taste of their own medicine when their wedding comes around, but that's just me lol.