Frustrated Bride

Plus, my 1 MOH has been assisting her BFF w/ her wedding plans, and attending her events and being a perfect bridesmaid for her. It ticks me off but I understand that I'm not local to my bridesmaids and that makes it hard. You would think since we've had 1.5yrs to plan all the events that at least people would make the effort to be there. But cest la vie. I just thank my girls for doing what they can. I know the un-sung hero in my wedding party has been my bridesmaid, Lauren. She's hosting my shower, gathering everything for the bach party, organizing the rehearsal, getting breakfast for the morning of, starbucks run, keeping everyone on schedule. Bless her!!! She's a gem!!!

I feel for you, I'm at least an ocean away from all my girls and an ocean plus a country for some of them! It's really hard to get them involved and I've pretty much accepted that I'll be doing mostly everything on my own (with FH). That's frustrating that they aren't even answering emails, I at least was able to send pictures of wedding dresses to my girls and get opinions.

I think it may just be that the wedding is still pretty far (in normal people's eyes, not us brides) so they may not really think about it until a couple months out. I know when I was a bridesmaid for my friend I was in college and busy so I didn't do much (though she basically had her mom plan her wedding and make our dresses for us and she is mormon so things like bachelorette parties weren't necessary). Hopefully as the wedding gets closer they're all more like your bridesmaid, Lauren!

At least you have one enthusiastic BM! Lower your expectations of what they can and will do for you, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when they start to pitch in and plan stuff about 1-2 months out. I feel that the rehearsal is mandatory, though, especially if you're holding it right before the wedding. That should be communicated to them.

I think it hurts a lot bc my mia MOH, is doing so much for her bf and she's putting me on the back burner. Plus she's my cousin so that sucks too and adds to the pain. But I got my Lauren, so it's all good!

Your wedding isn't until September - when is the wedding for the other girl? If it's first, maybe that's what your MOH is focusing on her.

I was a little sad with mine, too. My best friend, for whom I did so much when she was getting married, participated little (she did when I asked, but she wasn't a volunteer). And my other wasn't involved at all. My sister, who was my MOH, was AMAZING and I am thankful for her. Maybe I didn't ask enough (I felt weird asking for help with decorations and such).

In the end, they were there when I really needed them - on my wedding day. And we all had a blast and they were awesome.

Is your MOH local to her other friend who is getting married and not local to you? That may explain the difference

As of now I have two attendants. but those that I asked were lending a hand before I ever asked them. I asked them because they are really good friends.

mostly I just want them to stand with me as a honor for being such good friends and thanking them.

in general I'm not a fan of bridesmaids in general. sometimes it all works out great, but seems that often they are the biggest source of wedding stress.

I personally would never accept a role as bridesmaid without lending a hand to help.

It isn't their responsibility to help, it is totally your FI's job. I know we get all these expectations from movies and life-there are some girls who love to help, but we have to recognize that this isn't true about everyone. They are in your bridal party for a reason, so they are close friends. It doesn't mean they don't care about you. They have their own lives.

My MOH is my closest friend and we live in the same time zone (she lives about 15 hours drive from me). We are both in school and can go weeks without talking. I'll text her when I know tests are coming up to wish her luck. If she doesn't respond, I'm not offended. She is busy. When things slow down she gives me a call and we talk for hours. I never talk about the wedding until she asks and generally we are gossiping. I don't expect her to help. FI is helping! If he wasn't, you better bet I would be having a come-to-Jesus talk to with him, until he understood that this is his wedding and he better be helping!

If they are all 700 miles away from you, how are they supposed to help you make decorations?