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Dedicated December 2021

Frustrated and Sad

Happilee, on January 15, 2020 at 8:54 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

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Hey everyone, I'm feeling pretty irritated about wedding planning these days. I'm 80 days away and there's so much to do.

My biggest gripe is my bridesmaids. There is only three of them, all local and all family. I had been prepping them in the fall that I wanted to dress shop with them after the new year when all the sparkly gold gowns went on sale following the holidays. Well here I am, and only one seems to care to make time to go shopping (only now that football season is over and her season tickets don't matter). I keep asking for availability and everyone gives tepid replies. I even had one bridesmaid tell be that she was free most weekends but I should probably just "tell people to buy a dress and show me after the bridal shower" and that "it doesn't matter if you see them all together you will see them individually".
I thought I was being nice but letting them pick ANY dress they wanted as long as we could see them together and make adjustments from there. But now I'm on Amazon buying them myself because no one seems to care.
I might be being dramatic, but isn't it normal for a wedding party to get together and get excited about picking dresses and things for the big day? Even my Mom is protesting buying a dress because she wants to lose more weight but it's less than three months away.
I just feel kind of ignored at this point. And it's bumming me out a lot.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by KAREN, on January 17, 2020 at 12:40 PM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 15, 2020 at 8:59 PM
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This is a common concern that many brides have is that they want everyone to be just as excited about their wedding as they are. Truthfully no one's going to be more excited than you. Honestly I'm probably more excited about planning a wedding ceremonies than my fiance who decide to go to the courthouse hahaha. I'm sure the ultimately they're happy for you and they will definitely be there for your big day but realistically some people are not always going to want to jump to do everything but the bride. Hopefully they'll show support not only the day of but also at your bachelorette party or bridal shower if you are planning to have one. I would honestly just take the one bridesmaid that wants to go and then let her give opinions and then they don't get to see the dress until the day of the wedding. I only went with my best friend and it was perfectly fine so you don't need a big entourage to go wedding dress shopping for you and then maybe you and your one bridesmaid can go out for a nice brunch afterwards. Don't let them bring you down but as long as they are there to support you and be there for the events that's the biggest thing.
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Expert March 2021
Jordan · on January 15, 2020 at 10:29 PM
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I totally understand! I usually do not like to be the center of attention, but the wedding dress was a HUGE deal to me. When I first found my dress one of my younger sisters decided it was a good time to look for a homecoming dress while i was trying wedding dresses on. My mom bought her one. Yay she found one. That was a year and a half ago. Now, this last month i went to do my first fitting and TRYYY to get all my bridesmaids/ Sisters (i have 3) to get their dresses, we are only 4 months out now. One was in a bad mood, and it was like pulling teeth to get everyone to go. Finally we are there, the oldest one that was in a bad mood left before i started my fitting because she didn't want to be there and THENNN my youngest sister was trying on prom dresses, so my mom was all focused on her prom dress while I am trying to see if i should take in the dress more, add more padding, etc. My mom doesn't want to get her dress either... I ask her what style or if she has thought about it and she just says IDK and moves on to a different subject. Super frustrating.
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VIP October 2020
Taylor · on January 16, 2020 at 8:42 AM
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I totally get being frustrated. This day is 100% about you and you should feel special but to me, if they're not excited about it and don't want to go, I see it as a blessing in disguise. lol One less thing for you to do and argue with people about. They can't protest about what you choose if they don't want to help! If they're supposed to pay, send them links to the dresses that you choose and tell them they need to purchase by a specific date. I have 7 bridesmaids and ended up choosing a color and fabric from DB so everyone could go on their own time. They all chose different dresses in the same color so they match but they also get to be comfortable and not wearing one design that doesn't compliment everyone. People have different schedules and priorities so figuring out a time and date would have been impossible
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Dedicated January 2020
Aja · on January 16, 2020 at 9:33 AM
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Honestly, it's probably not the worst thing in the world if they don't all want to go. The more people you have, the more people to argue with. If no one cares then you can pick whatever you want and they can't protest your choice because they didn't care to help. I went dress shopping for my girls twice and each time I could only meet one or two of them at a time.

If you want to be a little more accommodating you can ask for a guideline from them like "nothing with one sleeve or nothing with a high slit" just to get an idea of their preferences. As for your mom, it's your mom! I doubt she's going to let you down on your wedding day and not get a dress on time.
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Super October 2021
Nicole · on January 16, 2020 at 11:15 AM
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I'm sorry you're feeling bummed and like there's a lack of support. I would say i have a healthy mix in my group, two are very excited and the other two are going with the flow. With it being so close to the wedding, I think it's time to be a bit more stern and just explain that this is very important to you and you'd like 2 hours of their time to coordinate the look.
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Expert May 2021
Danielle · on January 16, 2020 at 12:41 PM
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I have literally planned my entire wedding alone. My friends talk about it as far as "is everything going ok." PPL just want to party not much else. Bm's should wanna get together for shopping though.
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Dedicated October 2019
KAREN · on January 17, 2020 at 12:40 PM
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I totally hear you, but like others have said, no one will be as excited as you are. Remember, your bridesmaids are putting parts of their life (and spending a lot of money) on you for your big day. They totally don't have to (nor did they have to accept the offer), but I also agree that if you're not going to participate then don't say yes.

I suggest trying to reach out again and see what happens. I know it stinks, but they aren't children and don't need babysitting, either.
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