Hey everyone! So I am asking my 10 bridesmaids to get their dresses from Azazie. My only requirements are that the dress is in the color peach and that it is a long dress. Other than that, they can pick whatever dress they want. When I gave my bridal party this information, everyone was on board, except that my extremely frugal friend was asking about the price and if she can keep the tags on and send the dress back after the wedding so that she can get her money back. She texted me one day asking if she can borrow my swatch to see if she can find a peach bridesmaid dress in another store, such as JC Penny or David’s Bridal (which doesn’t have my color). I kindly said no. Another day, she sent me a link to a peach Azazie dress that someone is trying to sell for $45 on another site that is basically a marketplace site that others can sell used clothing. She said it was in her size. I would’ve originally said no because I was going to have everyone order their dresses at the same time at Azazie so that they are all in the same dye lot, but because of a couple pregnancies in my bridal party, that may not be possible. So I didn’t really have a reason at the moment to say no and I gave her the okay. But I made aware to her of all the future expenses that will be coming her way and she understood and was okay with it, saying that she wanted to get the dress out of the way so that she could spend her wedding budget on the more important stuff, such as the bridal shower and gifts.
A couple weeks went by and she texts me yesterday saying that she ordered her dress off of the site she was on before for $20. However, it was not the original dress she sent me and when she sent me pictures, it was a pink dress, not the peach color. She didn’t even okay it with me before buying it. I told her I need to see it in person because the color doesn’t look right. She said she would able to get a refund since the seller posted it as Azazie peach rather than the color it actually is. Then she sent me a link to a maternity peach Azazie dress (which I think is ugly anyway) on the same site for $65, which would need alterations (she said she knew someone who can do them for her for cheap). I asked about the original one, and she said it would be too small only in the bust area, but her measurements match in the waist and hips.
So she comes over today with the dress she ordered and I was right, it was pink and didn’t match my peach swatch. She told me that she decided that she was going to give it some time before she orders the original dress on the site she was looking at, basically to lose weight (except I don’t think you can lose weight in your bust but I could be wrong) or to see if another bargain pops up. I told her that this is making me feel stressed (she had already ordered a dress in the wrong color and now planning to order one that will be too small on her) and that I’d rather her be safe and order from Azazie than to be sorry and be out $45 if the dress is too small (she won’t be able to get a refund if the seller didn’t misrepresent the product). She gave me an entire speech about how she works part-time 3 days a week, sometimes 2 if she takes off, and she’s not broke and she has savings but it is for school, how her dad looks at her bank account and gets on her case about small purchases, how her dad is all excited about this Poshmark idea, how her dad is a pusher and a haggler and so is she, etc. I and 5 other of my bridesmaids are in school, and 3 of them don’t have a job right now. Yet none of them are giving me problems and all are okay with the finances. One of those bridesmaids even told me that she found a dress on Azazie for under $100 that she likes. So I asked her if it would be a big deal if she set aside $20 a month, and she said no. Then I said that if she did that, she would have enough for a dress by the time she would need to order one. And I asked what her budget was for the wedding, and she said she didn’t even know. Yet she posted comments on that site saying that the dresses I am asking for are out of budget for her. She was also trying to get the $45 dress for $10 from the seller by commenting that it wouldn't fit her. So I asked what is she going to do if she gets the dress and it’s too small on her, and she said she would be screwed, but then said not to worry and that she wouldn’t order a dress that wasn’t her size. She asked when the bridesmaids need to order their dresses by, and I said they take 4-6 weeks to come in. She said she would let me know by December 31st whether she is ordering from Azazie or not, to which I replied that that is cutting it really close (my wedding is in March) and the bridesmaids should order 8-12 weeks in advance just in case they need to send theirs back for a different size. So then she said she would let me know by November 31st. And then after making her case, she said that I am the bride and can make the decision, and then left. Yet I’m not really sure what decision I am making here since the conversation wasn’t about her asking me if this was okay but rather her telling me what she is doing and why she is doing it and pressuring me into being okay with it. Lastly, she sent me a text tonight saying listen, she doesn’t want me worrying about her dress and that she promises I will love the dress that she ends up picking and that it will match perfectly with everyone else, and that if she doesn’t find the “perfect” (not sure if putting it in quotations was supposed to be an insult to my requests) dress before November, she will order directly from Azazie.
I feel like I’m being very reasonable with my bridesmaids in that I’m letting them choose their own dress and shoes, and I’m not requiring them to pay to get their hair, makeup, and nails done but can have the option of doing it themselves. I am in school and work a part-time job while planning a wedding and getting prepared to move out of my parents house, so I completely understand trying to be smart with finances and saving money, which is why I wanted to make it a little easier on my bridal party. My maid and matron of honor are both super annoyed with her. I know part of it is that she just doesn’t get it. She had mentioned to a couple of my other bridesmaids that she knows people who got their bridesmaid dresses from Goodwill and JC Penny. But that’s not what I’m doing here. The majority of brides do not choose their bridesmaid dresses at Goodwill and JC Penny. She can afford an Azazie dress, but she is so set on bargain hunting. Sorry for the long post, but I get easily stressed and this is one of those things that stresses me! What would you do in this situation? Would you let her continue to do what she’s doing despite the risks? Or would you put your foot down and tell her that she needs to order from the site that you are asking her to with the rest of the bridal party?
