MrsD
Legend July 2019

From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help!

MrsD, on October 1, 2019 at 2:17 PM Posted in Planning 0 19
Saved
Reply

I got married on July 20, 2019. It was a dream, and we are living newlywed bliss! Now it's my mom's turn, and I've stepped in as wedding planner! My mom & stepdad got engaged 9 months or so into my husband & my engagement (it was a long time coming, they have been together for 10 years) but they didn't take a second longer than the actual proposal day to focus on them. They 100% focused on my husband & me, and it was so sweet! Now I'd like to return the favor for her. My mom & stepdad are 60 years old, and just want something casual & fun & surrounded by loved ones.

So far, we have a destination wedding in Jackson Hole, WY next Summer (July-September 2020) on a Saturday. Around 30 guests (ish). I hope to have major things (venue, hotel block, etc.) booked by December 2019.

Brides who have planned their second wedding, any tips? Do I still do a bridal shower or bachelorette for her? Does she do a registry (she feels kind of silly asking for gifts)? Do traditional wedding dress salons have dresses for older brides, or should we look elsewhere? Do they need a rehearsal dinner? Any tips for small weddings?

I feel confident with traditional etiquette, but I know things change for micro-weddings, and second weddings with older brides & grooms.

My brother, me, my husband, my mom, and my stepdad!From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 1


19 Comments

Latest activity by Julie, on March 16, 2020 at 5:39 PM
  • Fenja
    VIP August 2021
    Fenja ·
    • Flag

    I don't really have any experience and can't help. I just wanted to say that your mom looks fantastic for being 60!!! I also think it's super sweet that you'll do this for her! Good luck with everything!

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you! She really does, everyone always says that to her hahaha! But she is super shy and hates attention so is hoping the wedding will be more a party with loved ones than focus on her. Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    No way your mom is 60!😱
    She looks amazing! I'm 53... I hope to follow her lead!

    I say, throw the rule book out the window and do as you like!
    All weddings are different, no right or wrong in my opinion!

    Tell her congratulations! ❤
    • Reply
  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    • Flag
    Aww this so sweet! I don’t have any experience either but your mom looks awesome! Lol maybe throwing a bridal shower & bachelorette party for her would be fun! Let us know what you end up doing, congratulations to your parents!
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Haha, thank you! Good advice. I will tell her!

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I will! I'll post updates just like I did for my wedding, just now as the daughter instead of the bride. Thanks!

    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    This is our second wedding, I'm in my 40s and she is in her 50s. We chose to skip a lot of the typical pre wedding celebrations, mostly because we are paying for everything ourselves and no one offered to throw any parties. We did get together with friends for drinks as a kind of bachelorette and that was a lot of fun. I have seen plenty of options for dresses she may like in traditional boutiques, but she may not want the big white dress. Judging by her picture, she'll look great in practically anything. We also skipped the hotel block because most people are here and most of those that aren't have people they will be staying with, aside from our families who each have different ideas on where they want to stay anyway. As for the gifts, we just bought our home last year so we added things we just didn't get around to buying yet. In her case I would assume people would simply give cash. Normally I would suggest a small registry because a lot of people prefer bringing a gift, but in this case I would expect people to bring cards since they will be travelling.

    I think it's so sweet that you want to do this for your mom. It sounds like you might need to get her vision and that should help you put the pieces into place.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you for commenting! I totally understand the skipping parties if you are paying for yourself. I think she would feel weird doing a bridal shower AND a bachelorette, so maybe just a bachelorette a night or two before the wedding would be better since all her friends would be in town anyway for the wedding. My mom is super "behind the scenes" and shy so she is not a big white dress person haha (even though she wore one when she married my dad because her mom wanted her to) so I'm thinking she will want something very simple. Good point about the registry. She doesn't really have a true "vision" and isn't sure what to do, I think she feels somewhat silly having another wedding but ultimately decided she did want one. It took 2 months just to get her to decide on a location hahahaha! Thank you so much!

    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Maybe a bridesmaid dress would better suit her. I keep hearing about those online places that let you try on dresses before you decide. How fun to have a dress shopping experience at home. Happy planning and congrats to you all.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Good idea! I will tell her that for sure. She ordered about 30 dresses for my wedding until she finally found the one, so I'm sure she will also look at places like nordstroms, etc.

    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You're a great daughter. Have fun.

    • Reply
  • Arkilia
    Super November 2021
    Arkilia ·
    • Flag
    This is super sweet, I would if you do a bridal shower maybe a brunch or lunch would be a good time at a restaurant somewhere low key since you said she doesn't like attention. I would say for the bachelorette maybe a B&B or a weekend at a winery with her gal pals...
    Bridal stores have a ton of dresses, I would say maybe ask her what type of dress she Invision. I feel like the first one and the last 2 would be stunning on her..

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 2

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 3

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 4

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 5

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 6

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 7

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 8

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 9
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you for the pictures! All super helpful. I think going into a bridal store is a good idea at first, and at least seeing if there are any options. Then if not, we can look at other places! I agree, that first one is super classy & beautiful! I'm thinking of combing a bridal shower with a bachelorette a day or two before the wedding. She doesn't love being the center of attention, but would still enjoy a night out with her girlfriends!

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I recently got married at 52 (my second wedding and his first) and we opted not to do all of the traditional things. No bachelorette or bachelor parties, no registry, no bridal shower, etc. We didn’t need anything I would say that there are no rules so do whatever makes your mom happy. You are so sweet to help her. I bought a dress from David’s bridal that didn’t have a train and I didn’t wear a veil but that’s just mean. We had a destination wedding in Florida on the beach and it was beautiful. Good luck and remember no rules. 😊

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 10

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 11

    From Bride to Daughter of the Bride! Second Wedding Brides - Help! 12
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    As you probably already know, this was a 2nd marriage for both of us and we were also in our 40s. We also had a small wedding with 40 guests. We did it all and didn't hold back. I had 3 bridesmaids who threw us a couples shower. We registered at Pottery Barn, Macy's, and Williams Sonoma and got most of the gifts we registered for. My bridesmaids treated me to a day at the spa and dinner for my bachelorette party. I custom made my wedding dress and veil. Also, as you know, if you do a rehearsal then you should do a dinner/meal. We did a welcome dinner since we had a semi-DW and also did a farewell brunch for the same reason. I don't think traditional etiquette changes. The tips for a 2nd wedding are the same as a 1st wedding - she should have the wedding experience that she really wants and host her guests well.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You look stunning, what a sunset! Thank you so much!

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes, thank you for all the information! I think they are just having me as the only BM, and my brother & husband as the only GM. I don't think a rehearsal will be needed (obviously if there was one, she would have a dinner but it seems unnecessary being just our immediate family) but maybe a welcome party is still a good idea since it's a semi-DW. I know she feels weird asking for gifts but maybe I'll suggest a small registry just in case, she would feel even weirder getting cash from people. I think she would feel weird having a bridal shower & bach, but maybe the day (or two) before the wedding I'll host something small with all the women going to the wedding since they will already be in town for a combined shower/bach. I just don't even know if she will have things like formal dances or dancing in general, it may just be a ceremony then hosted dinner then everyone heads out to local cowboy bars (that's more our style anyway) since it might be kind of odd having a dance floor with only 20 or 30 people invited? I don't know, for sure starting with guest list & venue though! Thank you again!

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you!
    • Reply
  • Julie
    Savvy September 2020
    Julie ·
    • Flag

    Hi there,

    You are indeed a very special daughter!

    Im getting married after 10 years of being single (29 years married) to my sweetheart of 3 years. His second time as well as he was married 30 years but widowed 10 as well. I wanted to wait until i was 60 which ill be in July to be married again. Just my thing - no other reason.

    I have spent hours looking at dresses and Nordstroms and Niemans have been awesome. I picked out about 20 dresses, totally different shapes, colors and styles after i spent 3 hours in a bridal shop - not so great (tried to put me in same dresses as my 25 years co=bride who was next to me).

    All were shipped to my home, i could try on and get opinions from friends via pictures and was able to narrow it down to a few at this time. Simple and easy return as well.

    We are actually going to elope completely by ourselves (our choice) as we both have children on opposite sides of the US who have young children & trying to get long weekend that worked for everyone just didnt work out. We will have an elopement party once we can nail down a date that works for everyone.

    Good luck to you and your mom. Whats nice about second time down the aisle is it is our decisions and likes that count the most. '

    ,



    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics