Friendship advice please

Honey child,

There is nothing you can do for people who are miserable. They just want people to be miserable with them, and when you offer solutions instead they feel like you're rubbing their noses in your happiness. I know because I did the same thing to my friends when I went through chemo. Sometimes people just want to vent and wallow in their misery, not be offered solutions. I know I basically wanted someone to realize that I was miserable and that I needed to just feel miserable without people trying to cheer me up all the time. Her feelings are valid, but not healthy and you can't feel them for her. Leave her alone and let her stew by herself. If she reaches back out to you just listen to how she's feeling. It's so hard to be happy for other people when you're sitting on the bottom of a personal pit of darkness!

Misery loves company. She sounds like the kind of person you can't do enough for. You need to think about what you're benefiting from this relationship. To me, it sounds like she did you a favor by blocking you from her negativity.

I agree with PP about how misery loves company. I think you were being a good friend by being positive and trying to help her, but some just don't want help. My former friend was like this as well, she tried to pull me into her depression and I am very positive about life after dealing with anxiety and depression. I kept suggesting that she needed to get into counseling, but every time she was like no. I'm a big believer that therapy does help, because it really helped me out during tough times. I got tired of being her emotional punching bag when she was going through difficult times. She ended up blocking me on Facebook and ending the friendship.

She sounds exhausting. I would be relieved she blocked me and I don't have to deal with that. When she figures life out and stops being a miserable cow she will call you back. Give her time to deal when her own stuff and be happy you are not her.

You haven't done anything wrong. It sounds like your friend is going through a hard time and isn't a great person for you to be around right now anyway. I'd just give her space for awhile.

As someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety myself, I have made a new "motto" (for lack of a better word at the moment) for myself. I have known plenty of people who also have depression or anxiety. I will stand by them and try to help them....up to a point. If you're not willing to help yourself, then why should I waste my time helping you?

That may be a bit hypercritical, because for a while, I was not willing to help myself. After talking with a therapist and getting some decent advice from her, I realized what I needed to do. After that, I realized that I can only put so much effort into another person until it just becomes a waste. If they are not willing to pick themselves up and help themselves, then why should I keep wasting my energy? I've lost a couple friends because of that. A couple of them that I shared that tough love with a couple years ago, I've seen them posting on Facebook since, and it seems that they are doing much better, even if we aren't "real life" friends anymore.

You need to stay positive. Do not let her ruin that for you. Let her know that you are being positive for yourself, and you will not let her ruin it. If she is not willing to help herself, then you cannot waste your energy and positivity trying to help her. It's tough love, but I found it to be truth.

You didn't do anything wrong. Unhappy people want to make everyone else feel like them. You were a good friend to her and that wasn't what she wanted apparently. You have to let go sometimes, as hard as it may be!