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TashaMac
Devoted April 2017

FRIENDORS..Don't do it!!!

TashaMac, on March 15, 2017 at 10:32 AM Posted in Planning 0 57
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Just wanted to give some advice that I wish I'd listened to. Don't do friendors. I don't really have the time to type out my long dilemma right now, but let me hear your horror stories about friendors and maybe mine won't seem so bad. I just need a pick me up. Only 2 weeks away.

57 Comments

  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·
    • Flag

    At least it didn't happen the day of the wedding!

    My aunt used a friend to book a band for her daughter's wedding with no contract. Needless to say, the dancing got started very late Smiley sad

    Hope all goes well for you xo

    • Reply
  • JRae
    Expert September 2017
    JRae ·
    • Flag

    ^^^^^^ This is why we say no to friendors. Everyone thinks they are the exception and not the rule...

    Sorry OP hope it works out for you.

    • Reply
  • Gracie Lou Freebush
    VIP October 2017
    Gracie Lou Freebush ·
    • Flag

    My sisters photographer friendor cancelled on her two days before the wedding

    • Reply
  • hannnnahhhh
    VIP May 2018
    hannnnahhhh ·
    • Flag

    Ohmygosh I can't imagine how livid she was. @kay

    • Reply
  • Jennifer VR
    VIP April 2017
    Jennifer VR ·
    • Flag

    My makeup artist told me that her makeup artist cancelled on her the day before the wedding (was an industry friend, but no contract or anything). Luckily she is a makeup artist, but she spent the morning doing everyone's makeup instead of relaxing.

    • Reply
  • Sarah Harrington
    July 2020
    Sarah Harrington ·
    • Flag

    I don't have a personal friendor story from my wedding, but I do have one about my newborn pictures.

    I have (had?) a friend who is a photographer. A fantastic photographer. Brilliant, creative, experienced. Mostly a wedding photographer. She offered to do my maternity & newborn pictures for free, since we were so close & often worked together at weddings. We didn't sign a contract or anything, because... we were really close.

    I didn't receive my maternity pictures until after we did the newborn shoot, because she forgot to send them to me. It's been 10 months since we did the newborn shoot, and I have not seen her, heard from her, or gotten my baby's pictures. The photographer moved out of state and dropped all of her clients on a whim, even the brides who had paid her up front with contracts. I will never have those pictures and I am still so very upset by it. I can't imagine how the brides feel.

    Thankfully I did a short newborn session with my daughter, just because. It's still not the same. I don't have the pictures of me & her, or me, my husband & her.

    This is one of the biggest days of your lives! Don't go with friendors! Hire professionals that you KNOW will come through in the end.

    • Reply
  • Shelley & Ken
    Dedicated May 2017
    Shelley & Ken ·
    • Flag

    Had a friend who is a professional photographer volunteer to gift us with her services... just backed out!

    • Reply
  • K Dot
    Super June 2017
    K Dot ·
    • Flag

    I kinda have one. I used a friend who is a graphic designer to do our invitations/rsvps. I thought this would be okay since it wasn't anything for the day of the wedding, and I also paid what she charged me. We told her what we wanted, and she came up with something we loved. The only thing was the cursive was a little hard to read, so we asked her to change it. Well, she came back saying that SHE didn't think it was hard to read and gave us a second edit with the same font! So, we had to tell her again to please change it! She eventually did, but I heard from another friend that she was talking crap about how picky FH and I are.

    Anyways, LESSON LEARNED!

    • Reply
  • Mrs. DeNigris
    VIP October 2017
    Mrs. DeNigris ·
    • Flag

    This didn't happen to me, but to FH's best friend.

    The groom's best friend's sister (stay with me) was going to school for photography at the time, and offered to photograph their wedding for free to build her portfolio. They happily accepted.

    Before the wedding, they got together to do some engagement photos. The bride and her parents hated them, but never said anything to the groom or the sister because they didn't want to hurt any feelings. Then, instead of confronting anyone, booked a photographer without telling the groom. Since the groom wasn't aware, he still told his best friend's sister that she would be photographing the wedding. They BOTH showed up thinking they were the only photographer.

    Needless to say, it was tense and awkward. The bride and groom started their marriage off with a huge fight.

    ETA- clarity

    • Reply
  • TashaMac
    Devoted April 2017
    TashaMac ·
    • Flag

    I just assumed things would be ok, since she volunteered. I didn't asked for her services, she volunteered.

    • Reply
  • JRae
    Expert September 2017
    JRae ·
    • Flag

    What happened OP?

    • Reply
  • TashaMac
    Devoted April 2017
    TashaMac ·
    • Flag

    Sorry, give me a moment . I'll tell the whole story

    • Reply
  • FME
    Master March 2018
    FME ·
    • Flag

    People always think it'll never happen to them Smiley sad


    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    July 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I've worked with friendors; I hate it. All hired pros do. They are generally not professionals (whether they started out as willing amateurs or as pros who became part of the party), they take longer than a real pro on a real job, if there is a problem, you will feel sheepish about confronting/firing them, and probably will lose the friendship as a result. It's a messy situation whether you're hiring an officiant, a baker or a car mechanic. Just don't do it.

    My worst experience was with a couple who used their friends as coordinators and photographers. Everything was late because the photographer took forever and the coordinator didn't keep anyone on track. The venue staff (and this is a fabulous venue with amazing staff) was frazzled and livid because they couldn't orchestrate the day the way they usually do, and the pictures that I saw just sucked.

    OP, you are still in off season; it's possible to replace anyone who is making you nuts. And I would do it in a heartbeat.

    • Reply
  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
    • Flag

    You know what they say about assuming, right? It makes an ass out of u and me. Never ever ever ever ever assume.

    Doesn't matter if she volunteered, or not. FH's friend (a DJ) volunteered to DJ our wedding for free. After spending a few weeks on WW, I told FH to tell him no thank you, and we found another DJ who we will be paying.

    TashaMac you need to tell your story to warn others. We keep telling people, and they never fucking listen. It's always, "well it will never happen to me." Think again.

    • Reply
  • TIFFANY
    Super July 2017
    TIFFANY ·
    • Flag

    Yea now i want to know what happened. the only friendor i am using is my make up artist tho she is not really a friend i just use her anytime i need make up done

    • Reply
  • Chica
    VIP October 2017
    Chica ·
    • Flag

    Lets hear your story OP not to judge but so your testimony can enlighten others in the WW community who think that friendors will work out for them.

    • Reply
  • TimeLadyErika
    Master May 2017
    TimeLadyErika ·
    • Flag

    .


    • Reply
  • Tamara
    Devoted April 2018
    Tamara ·
    • Flag

    OK, so... Honest (but maybe stupid) question: is there a difference between a friendor and a professional that happens to be a friend? Here's my specific situation I'm asking about: so, my mom has a cosmetology license. She has been doing hair for 20+ years. She has offered to do my hair the day of the wedding with several test runs before hand. Is this OK?? I didn't see anything wrong with it... Also, I don't EVER wear make-up but would like a very light amount on my wedding day. Because it wouldn't be anything fancy or intricate (literally just foundation and light blush... I have eye problems that make mascara and eye shadow a big no), I was going to have my MOH do it. Are these plans OK?

    • Reply
  • JRae
    Expert September 2017
    JRae ·
    • Flag

    Ummm no. That is not ok. It is NEVER ok to have your family/friends working on your wedding day. They should be relaxing for crying out loud....

    • Reply

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