Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

L
Dedicated March 2020

Friend to “officiate” wedding

Laura, on January 29, 2020 at 10:18 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 16
We will already be legally married (for work/financial/insurance reasons) before our planned wedding day. Has anyone had a friend “officiate” their “ceremony”? Did you find it was more special and meaningful? We are wanting to ask one of our close friends to do this for us since we don’t need a legal officiant but are unsure if this is a good idea or not.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Michele Mcgrew, on February 6, 2020 at 12:53 AM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would just make sure the person was a good public speaker. We had my husband's uncle get ordained online and perform our ceremony, and we felt it was more special than paying a random stranger to do it.


    Also, many professional officiants may not be comfortable with performing a ceremony with a couple who is already legally married. If you do go that route, make sure you ask them about their comfort with vow renewals.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Friend to “officiate” wedding 1
    Friend to “officiate” wedding 2

    My brother officiated our wedding! It was so personal and special, probably the best wedding-related decision we made! Many of our guests were saying to me that he did a better job than their actual professional wedding officiants had at their weddings 😂


    Just make sure whoever you ask is a good public speaker! I knew my brother was, so that wasn’t a concern of mine.
    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I have a friend officiating our wedding. But she's also a pro and has done 100 or so weddings. It's nice knowing that someone who has seen our relationship start and grow from beginning to now is helping us do this
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted May 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My grandpa is officiating ours!
    • Reply
  • Marné
    Dedicated February 2020
    Marné ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We asked one of our good friends to get ordained to do our ceremony and wouldn't have it any other way.

    • Reply
  • Flame Princess
    Dedicated April 2021
    Flame Princess ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are having one of FH's good friends officiate. He just happens to be ordained by The Church of Internet and only does one wedding a year. We are also including him as an honorary groomsmen. Apparently theres been some beef between him and another groomsmen, and they've both agreed to drop it for the night, without hesitation. I love it bc it could be a story/ lesson our future kids can really learn from.
    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We're having a friend officiate. I really liked the idea of someone marrying us who actually knew us and meant something to us, and I'd rather have photos of someone I know than some rando we hired. Originally we asked him to become a JP so he could legally marry us, but he's ineligible, so he will be performing our ceremony and his wife is going to become a JP and sign our papers instead. It will be a cute tag-team experience for them as well.

    Whoever is marrying you should be really comfortable speaking in front of groups (or just not care, which is what my friend will be, he's got zero shame) and either you or they will need to design your ceremony a bit, so be prepared for that. It is some work, with creating a script and some practice required, so I would not pick anyone who is short on time or not super reliable. Whoever you pick is someone who should be really invested in you as a couple and want to put in the work to make your ceremony special for you.

    The friend we picked is a good friend of mine. I'm only having a MOH and no other bridesmaids, and my FH is having four groomsmen, so he liked the idea of having my friend do it because he thought it would be nice to have more of "my people" involved in the wedding. This is a person who I probably would have had be a bridesman if I wanted to go that route, but I preferred to just have my best friend as my bridesmaid because I didn't really know how'd I would involve a bridesmaid in anything other than the ceremony photos. My friend is really excited about being our officiant and we are having a pretty relaxed ceremony anyway, so I am confident it will work out well.

    • Reply
  • T
    Devoted May 2021
    Trinity ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yes. We are having our friend officiates us. It is meaningful to us because she was also the one who introduced us.

    • Reply
  • Coral
    Dedicated October 2020
    Coral ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are having our friend, who is a minister, perform it. But we may have to do a legal wedding just before because of license issues and in that case he is still doing the ceremony as planned. It would be like a 2 day difference if we have to go with plan B.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Our friend officiated our wedding. we did a small "legal" ceremony in NY on our dating anniversary and then he did our big ceremony in PA . but he is ordained in NY (which is why we had two) lol but it was nice having someone on a personal level.

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated March 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    He has been with us since day one of our relationship and is an amazing public speaker. We love him and his family and he is one of the most passionate people we know. We wouldn’t need him to be an official justice of the peace or ordained because we are already legally married Due to an unexpected change in work/insurance, requiring us to make it legal prior to our wedding day. I’m hoping he says yes!
    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    That sounds awesome. I'm hoping he says yes for you!

    • Reply
  • Kris
    Expert July 2021
    Kris ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    FH's best friend is doing ours!

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Alys ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    How comfortable would your friend be with drafting and finalizing the wording of the ceremony? Does this friend expect you to be deeply involved or just provide some background for him? I'll be doing the same thing (get legally married a few months before wedding date) and considering a friend as officiant for sentimental reasons.


    However, if I had to do more work or be more involved in the drafting process, I definitely prefer to hire a professional officiant who can do it with limited time/effort on my part. If my friend says "don't worry leave it to me!" then I'd love to have a close friend officiate.

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated March 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    He’s already accepted and happy to work with us however we need it. I had already written the ceremony because our previous one said we could make it however we wanted. An easy switch! I highlighted parts for him that he could put into his own words or add his thoughts about us and our relationship.
    • Reply
  • Michele Mcgrew
    Beginner June 2020
    Michele Mcgrew ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Most of my family has done this. Seems to be very normal. I'm having my nephew officiate mine. He is an ordained minister however. I feel the personal touch they give to it means so much more than letting someone do it that you have never met. Just my opinion but I think having your friend do it would be very special.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics