Friend thinks he’s a groomsman

We had an acquaintance tell us how happy he was to get his save the date and how he has already put the date on his calendar....except we didn't send him a save the date. FH just glossed over that part of their conversation, and he'll figure it out when he doesn't get an invite, I guess.

As for thinking he's in the wedding party, I think he'll get the memo when he isn't asked to get a specific suit or come to the rehearsal. Perhaps his mom just misunderstood? Maybe he said something about hoping to be a groomsmen, or wondering who the groomsmen were, and he was excited as he was talking about it?

If you're super worried about it, you could just shoot him a text that says something like "Hey, your mom mentioned that you're excited to be a groomsman, and I'm sorry if there's been any confusion on any of our ends but I'm only asking my dad and cousins to be in the wedding party. I'm still super excited to celebrate with you, and we're going to have a blast at the bachelor party!" Obviously in whatever tone makes it sound like you 😂 You could throw in a joke at the end about liking him enough to let him sit during your wedding and wear whatever he wants?

I would not do or say anything unless/until Louie himself does something to indicate he genuinely believes he’s involved. Take Mom’s comments with a grain of salt. They could mean anything or they could mean nothing (she could be fishing, she could have misunderstood something, she may well have no information from Louie and the thought has never even crossed the poor guy’s mind). Until you are face to face with it, leave it be. Because the only thing that could be done is to say “sorry but no” and as nicely as you may phrase it, no one really wants to hear it. If he’s expecting the ask and doesn’t get it, he should put it together then.


If you do end up in a conversation, I’d also caution you against using the excuses in this post. If you say it’s “practically all family” but then it actually includes a non family member, that hurts. If you say you’re “keeping it very small” but it’s actually 5 people…it’s really not that small. So just be mindful of the message. Something short and sweet and straight facts is the way to go “sorry but the bridal party has already been chosen. But I’d still love for you to be part of the bachelor party”