Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Silvia
Beginner October 2019

Friend of mine trying to bring two acquaintances to the wedding?

Silvia, on September 27, 2019 at 12:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
Saved
Reply
So I need you guys opinion on this one. I had sent Invites and not many rsvps got back so im
double checking on the people who hasn’t confirmed their attendance. My male friend from college said he will be cool to come over if nothing changes( I’m guessing schedule wise) then he asked me if I had invited these two guys that I knew in college. They are acquaintances only and my wedding is a close friends/ family wedding only. It’s also smalll since I’m having like 40 people coming. I did not want to discourage my friend to come. He does know some of my girlfriends but I understand he much rather like to have a guy friend to talk to through the night. I did suggest he could bring someone to the weeding and he replied he would be bringing these two guys. I’ll call them Fred and Tom. So should I tell him not to bring them? I was expecting like bring a date when I told him to bring someone, preferably someone that I don’t know. If his guy is going to bring both of these guys I’ll feel weird because I hadn’t personally invited though they know me. Am I overreacting? Should I tell him to bring just one? I do have the space for both technically because some people won’t be coming in but it’s more of the fact that they are not close and i haven’t talked to them in ages so I kinda don’t feel like catching up my whole life on my wedding day. Give me thoughts please.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on September 27, 2019 at 6:19 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That's an interesting scenario... he probably thinks that because you know them, that it's better than bringing someone you don't know

    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    That seems odd. We had something kind of similar happen though. My husband's two cousins were supposed to attend. The one cousin "John" is dating "Mary" and the other cousin "Nick" is getting a divorced, but was going to bring Mary's best friend "Ann" because he didn't want to attend the wedding without a date even though he wasn't romantically involved with Ann. So we paid for John, Mary, Nick and Ann to attend our wedding. About a week before the wedding, John called to tell us that unfortunately Nick has to work. John wanted to know if his best friend "Zach" could attend in Nick's place. We said okay at that point because we had already paid for 4 people to attend so it made no difference to us. If we hadn't paid for all four to attend I would have told John that neither Zach or Ann could attend since we didn't know them and since Ann was supposed to be Nick's plus one that if Nick wasn't attending neither was Ann. In my opinion, if you invited your friend with a plus one that means he can bring 1 person of his choosing not 2. If he wants to bring 1 friend then I see no problem, but not 2. I would tell him you really only meant that he could bring one person with him and he doesn't want to attend that's his problem not yours.
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would say that you invited him with a plus one, so he gets a plus one. It’s considerate of him to consider people that aren’t complete strangers to you, but he gets one lol. I had to explain that to my grandma the other day too.
    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted September 2020
    Teresa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Maybe you can tell him that your event is very small & can accommodate for a plus one for him. Even if you have the space you can just let him know that everyone is only getting plus ones.

    I would say let him bring whoever he wants that way he can feel comfortable at your wedding & enjoy the time with his buddy. You probably wont notice him much since you'll be busy
    • Reply
  • yung_coconut
    Dedicated October 2019
    yung_coconut ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Don't worry about having to catch up on your whole life with them on your wedding day -- you'll probably be too busy with everything else! Smiley smile

    If you gave him a plus-one, then he can bring one person. I totally get where you're coming from about having a small, intimate ceremony. We have about 55 people, just close friends and family, so I was a little weird about some plus-ones too. One of our guests wanted to bring his new roommate from out of state, which was odd... Anyway, whether it's a date or a friend or a cousin or whoever, you gave him a plus-one so I think you should honor that. That being said, he doesn't get to bring a whole crew -- just one person.

    • Reply
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    One. Let him bring one person. It seems like he doesn't know that much about wedding etiquette, which is fine, but it's still rude to ask to bring additional people. Your wedding isn't some open invite frat party.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Well, you don’t have to accommodate both guests— it’d be perfectly okay to say that you can only accommodate one guest and have him choose — but know that might mean he would decline, so I’d factor that in to your decision. If you do decide to allow both to come, I would rally don’t think you have to worry about wasting time catching up on your whole life. People are pretty understanding that I he wedding couple has a million people to speak to and things to do so tend to be fairly respectful of time— I’d expect only a quick catch up and “wow so nice to meet your SO!” mostly small scale pleasantries . There were a lot of people I hadn’t seen for a while at my wedding, and no one really
    monopolized my time.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would probably make sure he knows it’s a pretty small/intimate wedding though. He may be picturing a big crowd and them getting lost in the mix
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I had a similar situation where I invited my coworker and his wife. His wife's sister was in town and my coworker asked me if they could bring her too. Even though I was having a very intimate wedding, immediate family and close friends - 40 guests total, I had the room to accommodate her so I agreed. It was really no big deal. You will be too busy to spend a considerable amount of time talking to any one guest, even with a smaller wedding, and it certainly won't be drawn out where you have to discuss your life. I made a point to talk briefly with everyone, but I spent most of my time with my new husband.

    • Reply
  • Silvia
    Beginner October 2019
    Silvia ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    So I did not originally send him the invite with the plus one. I just told him over text earlier because he asked me if they were invited and so I figured it was he wanted to have a friend he knew to talk so I suggested over text that he could bring someone. Would you still say just one? I think what makes me feel weird is that I’m gonna. Be like “hi person I didn’t invite. Thanks for coming as my friends guest and Ending up in my wedding anyways”
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Well since you didn't give him a plus one originally, but texted him that he could bring someone I would let him bring 1 person not 2. It was nice of you to let him bring someone because you aren't required to.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

A Detailed Wedding Budget Breakdown Based on Real Couples’ Spending
Budget A Detailed Wedding Budget Breakdown Based on Real Couples’... We explain the average wedding budget breakdown percentages so you can determine...
30 Mountain Wedding Venues in Colorado With the Most Jaw-Dropping Views
Places to Celebrate 30 Mountain Wedding Venues in Colorado With the Most... Find the perfect views for your wedding weekend with these scenic and...
20 Micro-Wedding Venues for Those Who Want a Small & Intimate Celebration
Places to Celebrate 20 Micro-Wedding Venues for Those Who Want a Small &... Need an intimate and small space for your wedding? Then you need to check out...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics