Friend got ordained to marry us

Forget the ceremony itself for a second. What if he fucks up the paperwork or doesn't turn it in?

There was a user here once that was married by a friend that was ordained online. After the ceremony, the friend skipped off to Ecuador without filing the license...and no way to be contacted. The license has to be turned in within a certain number of days so this person was freaking out.

If you want to run that risk, then go ahead and have your friend get ordained. May the odds be in your favor.

I didn't see any cocky comments here at all.

Get a contract. We get at least six calls a month from couples whose 'friendor officiants" have bailed when they realize it's not just reading for 10 minutes off a paper.

I'm really outgoing but I cannot get up in front of a room of 20 people I don't know and speak publicly. Count me right out. This is not a good idea in the grand scheme of things. I would hire a professional. The vendor tab here is really great

OP, I'll split the difference re: those in favor of officiants being friends and those who recommend using professionals:

Our officiant will be my FH's boss, who we are both close with. Yes, he's a "friend", and yes, he's not ordained in any religion nor is he a professional officiant, but he has years of public speaking experience, has held local public office and is a well-known and well-established businessman. In short, he has the qualifications we'd be looking for anyway, and so it was a no-brainer for us.

That said, just because someone knows you well does not mean they would do justice to wedding you. I think those who brought up the whole "getting-cold-feet-in-front-of-150-people" thing are correct: it's a reality, and one not to many might consider if someone they love asks if they'll officiate.

So I wouldn't cross your friend officiant off the list yet, but maybe have a frank conversation with him about whether this would wig him out, and definitely offer guidance and boundaries in what he is allowed to say, or what to say period if you do proceed.

This goes against almost everything in my being by saying we need more laws, but my God do we need more laws against this whole "ordained" over the internet BS.

In saying that, my wife's cousin married us. He did a killer job from the start of the mass all the way through. Oh yea, he'a a Catholic Priest. lol

Why are you worried about what he's going ti say?? You actually need to be worried about if he'll make sure all the legal paperwork is signed and filed correctly, so you're actually, you know... Married. And if you get legally married at the courthouse, that's fine, but you don't get a second wedding ceremony. You get a "vow renewal." Which isn't the same thing, and your guests will probably notice.

I would recommend hiring a professional. We asked a friend of ours (who had tons of public speaking experience including being a church service leader) to be our officiant. This was before I found WW and the wisdom this forum has to offer. I wrote all of our ceremony with input from my husband except for one section that our friend wrote. Honestly, our ceremony was perfect, and we received a lot of compliments on it. However, our friend, even with her public speaking background, was nervous and stressed out in the days and hours leading up to our ceremony because she was worried about messing up. I felt so bad about putting her through that. She was honored to be asked, but I think she may have preferred being a guest instead.

If you're in pa you can get a Quakers license and be married by a friend and it would be legal.

I am an ordained minister and I've done several weddings If I don't know the couple prior I usually ask some questions to give me a feel for the love they share. I will type up a script and run it by the couple 2 wks before the ceremony that way it allows for adjustments. Since this is a good friend of yours I would let him write it up and ask to go over the script a few wks before the wedding! If you want to write your own vows then do so and that way it has a forward personal touch