Friend Getting Divorced-Still Invite Ex?

That is a tough one... since you sent him a STD, I think an invite is the "appropriate" etiquette, but there's probably a good chance he won't even come.

I think it's ok when a divorce is involved and the partner isn't a close friend of yours. Like, I know most people say if they got a STD then they get an invitation but I think in the case of a divorce or breakup where the partner leaving isn't a mutual friend already, that it's ok to just invite the person you have the relationship with. I'd feel differently if you and your FH were close to her ex husband but it doesn't seem like you are.

I'd invite her plus one.. unless your FH is close with him too? We have a situation like that as well, my best friend was dating FH's friend for 8 years and they split (really ugly break-up) but he's now married (my FH was his groomsman) and she's in a serious relationship. I worry about the wedding day a smidge... but we couldn't NOT invite both. If your loyalties lie only with her, just invite her.

I'd break etiquette on this one and just send her a plus one. Nothing for him.

Double post

Yea, Im leaning on breaking etiquette and just inviting her plus one. Fortunately I am giving all singles a plus one (cause we don't have that many) so that wont be an issue. Maybe Ill just check with her to be sure she is ok with that. MAYBE she still wants to come with him?

It gets tricky--my two other close friends broke up but are still living together. They got a STD together, now I think I have to send two separate invitations? With two separate plus ones? Any clarity on this one too would be awesome!

Yes- tell everyone to stop splitting up until AFTER your wedding!

Just kidding- if they are still living together, are they OK with being around one another? That's odd.. how would they feel around their ex's plus one? With cutlery all around?

LOL @bridalfever I totally agree. I think that everyone should really be thinking about their lives in comparison to mine. Like "I want to go to the store today, will this negatively impact Megzie's wedding?".

I live in the Bay Area where housing is at a PREMIUM. My two buddies live in an amazing house in the hills, and everything is SO expensive.

Cutlery, huh...Maybe I can misplace all of the silverware at their settings except for spoons. Spoons don't cause that much destruction.

Invite the person you were originally friends with. I agree with others posters that the STD is sort of "null and void" because you sent it to them the couple, and now they're no longer a couple.

Please don't invite the ex. How do you know about the divorce in the first place if she didn't tell you?

@e=mc2 My friend did, in fact, tell me they were getting divorced.

I was just saying in OP that I did not ask her any questions about the divorce. I let her share with me what she wanted to share, didn't probe, and just tried to be loving and supportive. That is why I am not totally clear on their level of amicability.

Hmm this is tricky, you could address it to her then plus one, don't put her ex husbands name. Wait to see her reply to it.

Or you can just talk with her and get a bigger picture of the situation. Sorry wish i could offer better advice :/

I wouldn't invite the ex.

I would only invite her, plus one. I'd think that since it was sent to them as a couple, and you two weren't personally that close of friends, that his STD would become void. He may not even notice, or he might be relieved to not be invited after the divorce.

I vote for no ex. Don't send him an invite, there is very little "etiquette" in divorce, and none required from you.

I would call and ask if she feels comfortable with him still being invited. If not, then invite her solo. I can't think of a way that'd be less awkward to address it, sorry

My sister is getting divorced. I texted her husband asking him to keep my wedding in mind when they discuss custody of their daughter. I want her to be my flower girl and I didn't want "his weekend" to prevent her from coming. He responded with,"I hope I'm still invited". The divorce just started to get nasty so I don't plan on inviting him. I don't want them to cause a scene if they drink too much.

An invitation to a couple becomes null and void if the couple ceases to exist.

I'd say no to inviting the ex, since you two aren't really friends it sounds like