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Carlee
Dedicated September 2019

Friend asking why they aren’t in the bridal party

Carlee, on June 26, 2019 at 11:27 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
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I need advice. So a girl that I grew up with is asking me why she’s not in the wedding. I’ve known her since kindergarten, but a few years back we had a huge fight that really distanced our friendship. She recently got engaged and asked me to be her Maid of Honor, which is a huge shock to me because we barely talk anymore and when we do it’s like we don’t have anything to talk about, she also lives just over 4 hours away from me. But despite our issues I’ve been supportive asking wedding questions and what she needs etc, but now she’s asking me why she’s not apart of our wedding party and I’m not really sure what to tell her. What would you say to someone when they asked why they aren’t standing up in your wedding when they want you to be their MOH?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on July 4, 2019 at 4:04 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would be honest and tell her that you chose the people that you were closest to and you didn’t feel like your relationship was at that point when you selected your bridal party.
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  • Erica
    Dedicated March 2020
    Erica ·
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    I had the very same situation happen to me. And I was honest with her and told her that where our friendship is, is not in the space where I feel comfortable/right to hold such a huge position in her wedding and I didn’t feel it was fitting to ask her be a big part our day when we’ve drifted further apart. Good luck lovely
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  • Arielle
    Expert August 2020
    Arielle ·
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    I would be honest too. It's probably super uncomfortable, but it's always the best thing to do. I have a "friend" that I've known since I was 5 and I am not inviting her to the wedding. She kept me out of a lot of big things in her life (baptisms, her wedding) and I totally get it. We haven't been close for a while.

    Hopefully your friend understands.

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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    Ah, this is uncomfortable for sure, but you have to be honest. I've run into a similar situation, and sometimes people think length of time knowing someone translates into quality of friendship. In my opinion, it doesn't. I've got a group of 5 friends and we have known each other since 1st grade. I am only having 2 of them in my bridal party. Although the other 3 are still lifelong friends....we aren't close. We just have the history. I chose people who I'm close with now, and who will be a part of my future.... rather than people who i have history with. Don't feel guilty about the decisions you've made. This forum will show you that lot's of us deal with similar circumstances so I totally get the position you are in! It's a tough one for sure. It's better to just be honest! good luck!

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I say just be honest. Mention you're closer to those in the bridal party currently.
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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I think you should be honest and tell her that you felt like the fight put some distance between you guys. I don't recommend mentioning that you're closer with the girls you did ask because that can be hurtful to hear. Instead focus on how you feel like your relationship with her changed

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