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Just Said Yes October 2022

Friday wedding - should i invite children?

Kelsey, on September 8, 2021 at 9:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
We have a venue booked for a Friday, which we did purposely and aren’t willing to change. Most of our guests will be traveling 2-4 hours for the wedding (though the venue is in the town of our alma mater and many of the guests attended the same college so there’s a little more incentive to travel). Initially, I wanted a child free wedding but the more I think about it the more I feel like I should allow children since it is a Friday. Almost all the children that would be invited would be under 3 which seems like a lot of babysitting.


Thoughts?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on September 10, 2021 at 4:55 PM
  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I think this very much personal preference, as well as a 'know your circle' deal. It's fairly common where we live to not invite children, and so isn't likely to cause major family offense and drama.

    Our venue is about 1-1.5 hours away depending on traffic. Close enough you COULD drive home if you wanted, but most probably don't want.

    For us.... my fiance's family is huge. HUGE! just aunts and uncles and first (adult) cousins is 60 people. If we invited all their children and our friend's kids we'd have to increase our guest count by a third. We're talking at least 40 kids. That is a LOT of kidlets, and whilst I love children individually.... having that many at our wedding sounds like a very different event than the one I'd always pictured. Above and beyond that, children's meals cost $50 at our venue (which is par for the course) but that's a hefty amount of money for a toddler to eat 3 fries and half a chicken nugget, and frankly, I don't think that's a good way to spend an additional $2000.

    Of course, we can't have some and not others, so we opted to have none.

    We understand this may mean some parents may choose not to come as the logistics are too difficult - this is totally fair! But when we spoke about our decision in the early stages of planning, our friends were very supportive and fine with it.

    Most of them are getting an extra hotel room or a bigger AirBnB, and bringing their in laws, parents etc to look after the child for a few hours while they're attending the ceremony and reception. The majority have booked accommodation close enough that they can pop back and check on them if they get anxious.

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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I'm a little confused.. What does it being a Friday wedding have to do with inviting children?

    Regardless, I think if you don't want kids there then don't invite kids. Those that will want to come will make arrangements to come.

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  • Samantha
    Super May 2022
    Samantha ·
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    As a mother of young kids, it can be hard to find childcare on Fridays, especially if its a wedding that has to be travelled to. But again, its your wedding, so do what feels right and fits in your budget!

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  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    OP, you have a year to figure this out, just send your invitations out with ample time to let people get a babysitter. If 3-4 months ahead of time is not enough time for people to get childcare for one night, it was never about the childcare to begin with (usually).

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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I agree with this. The day of the week is irrelevant. Either invite kids or don’t but be consistent with all or none because you will offend if you have select children in attendance (your own kids or flowergirl) while others must find a babysitter.
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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I am not a mother so I am just genuinely curious. So finding childcare for a Saturday is usually easier? Do you know why? Is it just because most people are busier with other things on Friday's?

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  • Samantha
    Super May 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Yeah generally people that babysit have regular jobs, or are even in school if they are highschoolers or college.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    You're welcome to do whatever you like! However with a Friday destination wedding, you're already asking guests to take a day off. Taking a day off and finding overnight childcare for kids may make it a dealbreaker for some to attend. If you're OK with that as a possibility then you don't need to invite kids.

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  • Heather
    Super November 2021
    Heather ·
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    Totally up to you! My FH and I are considering on not having kids at the wedding because we feel as if we want everyone to let loose and enjoy the wedding day without having our guests constantly make sure their kids aren't getting into trouble or wandering off where they shouldn't be. We will be finalizing that decision this weekend before sending out the official invites.
    Just keep in mind that it may be difficult for some parents to find a designated babysitter especially with someone that they trust. But again, it is totally up to YOU guys. We know our circle and we are only inviting about 40 people to the wedding so we know they will be covered if we said no kids.

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