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Just Said Yes September 2020

Friday sunset ceremony with Saturday reception

Laura, on September 2, 2019 at 7:12 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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My fiancé and I have been tossing around wedding ideas for years now. Now that we’ve actually picked a weekend we want to do it (second weekend in September) we’re really trying to narrow down what we both want. I have really been letting him have a voice as this has always been a 50/50 relationship and this day is not all about me. We decided we want an intimate ceremony with parents, siblings and their spouses and children only plus the 3 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids. We are not using any fancy venues as the ceremony is actually the location where he first told me he loved me; in a field at the top of a valley during sunset. What better way to share that moment again with our closest loved ones? With doing this, the ceremony/pictures wouldn’t be done until 9pm which is too late to start a reception with the other 100 “reception only” guests. He has me sold on this idea and we have no problem doing a two day “event,” we are just stumped on what to do immediately following the ceremony/pictures with our family. do we just send them home and say see ya tomorrow? Has anyone ever done this or does anyone have any ideas on how to make this run as smooth as possible?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on September 3, 2019 at 7:00 AM

Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on September 2, 2019 at 7:22 PM
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If everyone gathers for a wedding ceremony, you need to do something afterwards, like a dinner to thank everyone for coming. Please no ceremony no reception. Invite everyone else to a reception saying "We were married in a private ceremony, please join us for a reception." Although you really can't say that as you are going outside of "family only" by including six attendants who I assume are friends? If they are friends and not family, it sets up the event as though those people were good enough to see you get married but none of you guys are. Have you asked them to be in your wedding party yet?
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Super March 2020
Desiree · on September 2, 2019 at 8:22 PM
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Why not do a little reverse? For the small group invited to the wedding portion on day 1, maybe do a lunch or cocktail hour to celebrate before hand? I think it'd be fun to do at least some celebratory get together, followed by the wedding on the hilltop, and then finalize with some quick pictures. By then, it's late, and dark and assuming it's local - people can go home, or stay at a hotel and relax until the reception. I think that'd be fun!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on September 2, 2019 at 8:31 PM
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Florida Marlins brought up really good points. If there's six attendants who aren't family, that can really hurt your other friends' feelings. It could seem like they weren't good enough to see the ceremony
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Laura · on September 3, 2019 at 6:53 AM
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I don’t really have any friends so the friends that are part of the bridal party have been my friends since second grade. I promise no ones feelings will be hurt by not attending the ceremony. The other “reception only” guests are mostly extended family, some coworkers, and family friends. I come from a small town where people tend to only show up for the party anyways. I do like the cocktail hour but I don’t want him to see me till the ceremony. Thought about have a bonfire with snacks and drinks but who knows what Mother Nature May have in store.
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Just Said Yes September 2020
Laura · on September 3, 2019 at 7:00 AM
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I should also mention, the reception is on local family property so no limit on guests or restrictions. Pig roast and BBQ with all the fixings and open bar for guests. For the reception we planned on getting dressed up again just like the ceremony day and doing everything minus the ceremony. I’ve never wanted a big wedding but our families are really big, but I just don’t see most of them so as a “courtesy” they are invited to the reception to keep all parents happy. And I don’t get why having three bridesmaids that have been my friends since second grade is a big deal seeing as how they know more about my life than anyone else. If anything I’d think it would be rude for them not to be invited as they are our number one supporters.
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