Freaking out about the budget

Honestly when I did my wedding I had a far lower budget than what I ended up spending xD and it was because of what you said - it’s hard because of this feeling that you’re spending so much on a party and it makes you feel bad cause you could be spending it on other things! So maybe think about scaling back your wedding in guest list and finding more casual vibes than what you anticipated to see if that reduces the cost. Because I think it sounds like you’d regret not having a wedding. Or you can even consider taking a honeymoon later on after saving more $ for it

View Quoted Comment Thanks Melle! Yea, tomorrow we are having a “talk” about the budget and the vision we both want. I want my fiancé to be happy as well! We’re going to work on a happy medium. We have been living together for 6 years so we weren’t planning on doing a traditional registry, we were going to do a Honeymoon Fund instead. You never want to assume you’ll get a lot of $ in gifts though!

Only you can decide what is most important to you. I had dreamed of my wedding growing up so I couldn't have imagined eloping. It was important to my husband to celebrate getting married with his family and friends. We put off buying a house to get married and ended up buying a house a little over a year after we got married. We spent over $20,000 on our wedding in order to have everything we wanted. However, our decision isn't for everyone. It was just the decision we made. I recommend making a pro vs con list.

The average wedding is around $30k, cost depends on a lot of things, That is so great your parents are able to contribute! You could probably have a small wedding for $5k, the food/drink per person is definitely going to be your highest cost, so the more people you have the more money you are going to spend.

Remember, this wedding is for you and your fiancé - its not for anyone else. Do what makes you happy. The people who want to be there will be there. You don't have to do anything to please anyone else.

Think about what is important to you on your wedding day and start there. For example, we are not having a huge wedding party (only having best man and maid of honor) so I only have to get a gift for one person, a DJ isn't important to us so we will just be making a playlist from an ipod, we are not doing bouquet/garter toss so I don't have to buy those extra accessories and a throw away bouquet, not doing floral centerpieces - the only real flowers are going to be in bouquets. The things that are most important to me are my dress, hair and makeup, photography and the food/drinks - that is where most of our budget will be going. We don't need to have programs or an aisle runner, flower girl or ring bearer. There are just so many extra costs. Sit down and make a list - budget is the best thing you can do! Good luck and enjoy your engagement!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! I think that’s what we will be working on tomorrow together. Personally, I think my fiancé wants a house sooner rather than later is because he will be 37 this year and has always wanted a home before 40. Granted, age is just a number but to him owning a home is important. You’re right though, we need to do what is best for us!! I know we will figure a way to make us both happy

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!! Yea we are keeping our wedding party very small as well and not doing bouquet toss, etc. the iPod is a good idea instead of having a DJ! For us, the Food, Bev and photographer is also most important! Good luck on wedding planning too

For the venue use a cheap church or firehouse, park, restaurant.. i am working with a $5-7k budget and we found a church for $350 for ceremony and reception!! (neither family drinks so no alcohol isnt an issue for us)

View Quoted Comment I’m definitely going to check out restaurants! Love that idea thank you

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Thanks! My future mother in law made me a check list with all this stuff and I crossed probably more than half of it out lol

We decided to have a smaller intimate DW, cause to us having our immediate family was important. We realized that everyone would be paying quite a sum to get there so we made the decision to pay for everyone. It ended up being around $30k, but to us it was worth it. I used a lot of cc points, rewards, etc to get the cost down. I also didn’t dip into my savings, I just worked a lot of extra jobs and saved a ton from my incoming paychecks to get my portion of the total amount.


Do what you think will make you happy

You can easily have a nice wedding for that price but you have to prioritize and look outside the box. Avoid tge word wedding whenever possible to get lower price but higher quality. Get restaurant drop off catering. Rent a parks department venue. Toss out anything not important to you. Guests don't want or keep favors or programs. Skip the signs. Focus on good food from restaurant drop off, grocery store cake and flowers, don't make anyone pay for drinks, get a good dj. Keep bridesmaids and groomsmen to a minimum. No proposal boxes, no getting ready robes/jewelry.

If you put on a full wedding, not elope, or have just a ceremony, do it for yourselves, not for family and friends around the country. Something I once thought in another family's squabble that annoyed me, I thought, Shame on you for thinking that. 24 years and many talks with people 30+, I have realized
my "awful" thought was true. Outside of your parents, GP: for all they may thoroughly enjoy a wedding with dancing, music, a real party, if you have one, they don't much miss it if you don't have one. If you have a big wedding not a very small one, or 15 min at the courthouse, do it because you want it. An awful lot of people look at their wedding as the only foal entertaining g they will every do, and all the family fighting is Mom or auntie saying, you don't want to miss that and I don't either. Yet couples who say "we want a house" and forgo a wedding, can have not a wedding, but a New Years or Spring Party, decide on a group, choose 16-40 people, and do it, just a couple years later if they want. Or steadily have small dinner and games, dancing, card parties each for small groups, none of the difficulty of pleasing 70 year old family and 25 year old friends all at once. Have a family party, maybe for a holiday, maybe not, and go all out to please just them, at that time. And next, do one for some friends, and go all out to please them. Neither will miss the one not for them. Don't feel, if I forgo a wedding, I will never have a chance again to dress like a princess, or have a band and bar service, and 50 friends. You can, if you want.

You could do a microwedding. Keep it to immediate family, have a meal after. Skip the dj, dancing


You could get married in a park or public space if you get a permit for a couple hundred dollars. Some restaurants have a ceremony space

A few options:
* You can do a mini-moon after your wedding and save your official honeymoon on your one-year anniversary (a wedding is exhausting and a local mini-moon is lovely).

* If a lot of guests are coming from out of state, why not cut the guest list? Yes, you’ll want to host guests really well but it may help to budget for 25 instead of 50-75+ Guests.
* Ask your dream venues about discounted rates for a Thur night wedding, or maybe Sunday brunch. Sun-Thur weddings can be a lot cheaper and your guests will need to travel anyway.

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I agree with this that you can absolutely have parties long after the wedding in your own home. It's normal and expected to do so.

Hi Amanda! I’m also dealing with this situation and currently live in Raleigh-NC, I don’t have a budget set yet, but for sure don’t want to spend a lot of money because our goal it’s to buy a house asap, so we are trying to bounce what’s priority. My ideal wedding would be in a Court House 1 week prior our Catholic Church wedding and afterwards a reception on a venue... to cut some of the cost, I will be doing the church and probably a yard reception at my soon to be in laws property in Zebulon-NC. I am trying to do as much as I can with DIYs and I will have my soon to be sister in law to help organizing and create decors... At the moment it’s only my fiancée income right now, so we are very tight. Planning to be around 50/70 guests. And again, this wedding is for me and my fiancé, anything that happens we would still be happy and together at the end. Be happy y’all are engaged and enjoy every minute of preparing your special day! 🥰

Our wedding is in OBX, NC and is only 25 people and is costing us 20k plus another 7k for our honeymoon to St. Lucia. My advice— do an elopement wedding through Sandals. It’s free with a 3 night stay (I think it’s 3 days). If I could rewind and start over, I would 100% go this route and would have only spent the money for the honeymoon. If guests want to come, it’s expensive but they also get a vacation— win, win! Good luck!!

View Quoted Comment Hi! I know that you were talking to amanda, but I’m curious to discover what you had on your reception tables if there weren’t flowers. Table number signs? Something else?
Trying and not succeeding to stay inside my budget as well!
Colleen

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Candles are inexpensive. Flowers from fiftyflowers.com in vases...half the price of silks/wood.

Look into all-inclusive venues! Huge money saver. And possibly opt into a Honeymoon fund instead of registry gifts. Elopements are gaining popularity with COVID and also offer