Formal vs. Informal

Formal to me at least means suits and dressier dresses with a full plated meal and cocktail hour. Informal to me is men in khakis women in sun dress type dresses with a buffet style dinner

I agree the clothing choices can determine if its formal or not. I think venue dictates it too.

Attire, cuisine, and alcohol / liquor would determine the formality for me.

In my opinion, formal means more traditional food (steak, chicken, fish) on real china with nice linens. I still think buffet weddings can be formal, I've been to plenty. Informal food is more BBQ, tacos, etc. I think formal also means wedding party uses buses or limos for transportation, open bar, lots of nice seating and flowers and decor. I think the attire of the guests too, and the bride & groom.

View Quoted Comment

See this is what i've always been told and this is why I can't figure out if mine is formal or informal. The only thing i'm not doing is bus/limo transport for the wedding party. But we have a buffet with a chicken and a fish option, and we will have linens and decor/flowers. I think maybe it will be formal in all aspects minus the attire because our groomsmen are probably going to be more casual (no jacket, just a vest)

View Quoted Comment

But they will be in dress pants? Are you doing normal things, like cake cutting & assigned seating & speeches? It sounds formal or at least semi formal.

View Quoted Comment

The will have dress pants! We may or may not cut the cake, we are having primarily donuts and a cake that can feed about 3/4 of the guest count. We are doing seats assigned by table, but not with cards - there will be a decorative board they can check for their table #. We are doing speeches from the MOH & best man.

Some characteristics of a formal wedding are white glove service, live band, seated dinner, valet parking, and open bar.

There isn't just formal and informal, it is a spectrum! Yours will probably fall somewhere in the middle.

I definitely wouldn't have considered our wedding formal, but it was semi-formal. Our wedding was an evening wedding at a golf club, we had an open bar, real china/glassware/silverware, floral centerpieces, linen napkins, passed appetizers for cocktail hour, and a buffet with traditional food options. However we didn't use any transportation services because the church was .5 miles from the reception space, we had "garden" chairs (white plastic resin) as opposed to chiavari chairs because I wasn't willing to deal with renting from an outside company and having to coordinate that. Bridesmaids wore floor length dresses, groomsmen wore suits with no vests because H didn't want one.

I think this is very regional too. What’s formal in New York is not the same as the Midwest. The venue is a big factor to me, time of day, attire of the wedding party (our girls were in floor length dresses and or groomsmen in dark grey tuxes, husband was in black) type of food, level of decor (if you have dozens of giant floral centerpieces, vs simple vases) etc. just make sure the level of formality you expect from your guests matches the level of service you are giving them. Don’t expect black tie and then have a bbq buffet and cash bar.

I concur that there is a spectrum. To me, there is black tie which is defined. Then formal just under that would still be full open bar, plated meal with good steak (usually prime rib/filet), chicken and seafood options, cocktail hour with passed appetizers. I would also say formal is a nighttime event at a venue which allows one to wear heels. (I went to a 'formal' wedding at what ended up being a farm the day after it poured rain..... ruined the nice shoes I wore because I was told it was formal attire) You can certainly have a wedding that is more formal than others but still isn't super formal and vice versa.

View Quoted Comment

I would say you are having a formal event then. Just because they aren't wearing jackets doesn't mean your guests should wear kahkis/jeans. And your menu also dictates that you are having a more formal wedding. A buffet doesn't mean it's informal by any means, it's the food itself. If you were having tacos/food trucks in a barn wedding I'd say it's more informal. I would advise guests that you have a semi-formal or formal event. If they ask what to wear say suit and tie or button-down and tie or put it on your website. I think most people assume that weddings are pretty formal. Our friends got married and we knew the groomsmen were wearing jeans, shirt, and vests. I still wore a dress though, many male guests wore jeans, suspenders, bowties, regular ties, vests.