Formal names on invitations?

I wonder too. My fiance name is George but he goes by his middle name kyle.

I'm not sure how formal this is... but could you use quotation marks? Like Jane "Marie" Smith... or (for @Kristin) G. Kyle (Last Name)

There is such a thing as wedding invitation wording etiquette, and if you Google that exact phrase, Wedding Paper Divas has a wonderful tool to help you figure out the wording.

But IMO, if you don't want to use your "real" name, then don't.

Here's the link:

https://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/wedding-invitation-wording.htm

There's no rules that say you HAVE to use your full formal name, just do what feels right to you.

I guess it depends on how formal you want your wedding to be. My fiance goes by a shortened version of his middle name, but I put his whole name on our invitation. If they already have your STD, they should know who the wedding invitation is for when it comes.

And yes, we put middle names.

Often, if you are including your parent's names on the invite, you would only use your first and middle name, then the groom's whole name.

I.E. - Mr. and Mrs. John William Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter Sara Elaine to David Edward Hennigan.... or something along those lines.

It doesn't really matter, you can do what you want.

Personally, I like formal names for something like this but there aren't any rules. We used first middle last names for both of us.

How formal is your wedding? If it's not casual, then I'd go by your full name - but it's totally up to you!

I do totally understand the potential confusion though! I was just a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding this past weekend and have never called her by her full name, or the guy anything other than his nickname since college. It legitimately took me a few minutes when I received the invitation to realize who it was for

The wording for our invites was:

The mr. and mrs. parents of the bride

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

First Middle

to

Groom's First Middle Last

We're doing our wording like @WWLynnie's! I go by my middle name and was worried about some people getting confused, but they're getting the save the dates with the name I go by so they should at least recognize the day!

I used my nickname on both STDs and invites. I despise my given name and no one calls me that but strangers. I also left out my middle name (don't like that either). Do what makes you feel comfortable. I do the celebrant will have to use your full given name during the ceremony as a formality.

@Whitta, you bring up almost all of my concerns in your post! We don't want anything to be too formal with the whole wedding in general. We are also not putting our parents' names on the invite, since they are not paying for anything. I assume people will be smart enough to figure out who the invite is from, since they will be getting STDs, but you just never know. Some of FH's family has not met me (and won't before the wedding) and vice versa.

It sounds like I will go with my first name nickname, middle name, then last name. I think that's what I was leaning towards anyway, but I needed confirmation that I was doing something acceptable and not totally crazy.

@EarlieCat, I also despise my given name so I understand your feelings. The officiant will be using full names, just for formality as you said. At that point it shouldn't confuse anyone since they should know where they are and who we are!

No, nicknames should not be used. First/middle names should appear as it does on the birth certificate. if we're talking proper etiquette.

@MrsA, I know that is traditional etiquette. I am wondering since it is not a very formal wedding if it is acceptable to not go by the way of tradition. With so many brides these days straying from "the norm" I thought it may be possible to forego etiquette in this instance.

I went to a wedding where the groom had always gone by his nickname (also a shortened version of his middle name). When they took their vows, she said his first name and I had no idea! I don't remember if his full name was on the invitation or not. It was beautiful wedding and reception. (Not sure how helpful that is but I guess my point is that I don't think it really matters. People will know who you are).

I just want to leave this tidbit here in regards to just putting your first and middle names on an invitation:

My parents went to the wedding of their friend's daughter. The invitation said it was the wedding of "Alyssa Marie and William David". My father, not knowing the groom, wrote them out a check as a gift to Mr. & Mrs. William David.

Very smart man, not much common sense.

It's better to give people more information than less information.

For me, it depends on the name. If you go by a super nicknamey name, I might keep it off the invites.

If you go by a name that is just different than your given first name, I don't think that's too informal.

For example: if your name is Kimberly, but you go by Kimmy, then I would use Kimberly on the invites.

If your name is Elizabeth, but you go by your middle name Jane, then I would use Jane on the invites.

Do what you want! I chose to use my full name even though I don't go by it, partly because our wedding is semi-formal and I wanted the invites to have that formal feeling. If I was doing a casual wedding I might have just used the name I go by.

We'll be using my full name in the ceremony since that's what I go by legally, just not socially.

Susan 'Susie' Jane Smith -- leave out Susie

James 'Mike" Michael Jones -- leave out Mike

James 'Biker Jim' Michael Jones -- leave out 'Biker Jim'

I get a lot of grooms who go by their middle names (maybe they are Juniors). So, I use first & middle for the legal bits of the ceremony and middle name for the unofficial parts.

@Nancy T - that is a great suggestion to use common name(s) for informal parts of the ceremony but still use given names for the "important" parts. Thank you for this suggestion!

In my opinion, this is one area where it isn't super important to follow the traditional etiquette. It doesn't impact your guests' comfort or enjoyment if you word your invitation a little differently than what's traditional. Especially if you're not having a very formal wedding, I say do what you want. My wedding wasn't super formal, I used our first and last names, and also mentioned our parents' first names. I didn't use middle names.