Savvy September 2020

Forgot to verify bridal shower date with mil

Erin, on March 14, 2020 at 9:36 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4
I'm planning on having my bridal shower on a Saturday morning and my bachelorette party that evening. A lot of my bridesmaids/friends have busy schedules/will be traveling for this so I thought it would be easier if they only had to plan around one weekend. In my haste to coordinate with my MOH on my bachelorette party and my aunts on my bridal shower, I totally spaced and forgot to run the date (July) past my future mother in law. When I did tell her, she was very upset that I hadn't run it past her and it turns out she has a church commitment that weekend. My aunts already put a deposit on the bridal shower restaurant and the weekend works for literally everyone else. Obviously it's important that she's there too but at the same time, I don't want to reschedule so I'm at a loss for how to proceed. Any advice would be appreciated!


Latest activity by Veronica, on March 14, 2020 at 10:55 AM
  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
    • Flag

    Can you change the time so that she can still attend either before or after her commitments? If not, I think you should reschedule. She's a VIP.

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  • E
    Savvy September 2020
    Erin ·
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    It will be brunch so it'll be earlier in the day, but she has to travel about 3 hours away for her event so I'm not sure if that gives her enough time or not.

    The problem with rescheduling is that it likely means some of my bridesmaids and close friends may not be able to attend and I'd really love for them to be there. I'm not super great with all of the attention on me so it would make me feel more comfortable to have them there.
    The petty side of me (terrible, I know) wonders if it's too much to ask that she rearrange her schedule if the current date works for everyone else/a deposit has already been made.
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  • Renay
    Devoted April 2020
    Renay ·
    • Flag
    I didn't coordinate with my mother in law at all. I simply told her the date and time. There are other people that can take over church commitments. Her daughter in law's bridal shower should be her main priority, and if it is not, that is on her.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    You obviously didn't intentionally forget to ask her. If she wants to attend then she needs to make other arrangements with her church so that she is able to attend. In all honestly, your bridal shower should be more of a priority to her as you will be her daughter-in-law. I wouldn't even offer to move it as money has already been put down to reserve the space and she is the only one that has a problem with that date. I also disagree with Pam in that you should rearrange your plans because she is a VIP. Your bridesmaids are VIPs are as well and if they can't be there that wouldn't be fair to them or you either. These things happen. In my haste, I forgot to include my grandmother on the list of people I wanted to invite to my shower. My sister-in-law (bridesmaid) luckily ran the list by my mom who noticed my grandmother wasn't on the list. My brother-in-law got married six weeks after us and his wife's shower was the week after our wedding. None of his side of the family could attend her shower because they had just traveled for our wedding the week before and her shower was 7+ hours from where his family lives. They had planned on taking a road trip out to her shower, but she didn't check with anyone to see if they would be okay with traveling that far a week after our wedding to attend her shower so only her friends and family were at the shower. My mother-in-law was really hurt by this, but there wasn't much that could be done.

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