For those who went 'Adults Only'

Some people in my family were not too thrilled when they learned that my Fiance and I wanted an "adult only wedding", but either they have gotten over it or they just won't be attending. I don't feel about it because ultimately it is our day and we are paying for it ourselves.

My now sister and law bitched and moaned for almost a year- to her mom- and my now husband.

She didn't know what to do with them- and who was going to watch them bla bla bla bla.

I guess she found a sitter (she had long enough to do it damnit)

But one of his cousins- her husband stayed home with the kids- so I think we had 2 parents there- that the spouse stayed home. No one said anything to me or to husband- it was only the sister.

shrug- they figured it out.

We didn't have any "fall out", but we did have a lot of declines from OOT guests with young children. We fully expected this and were prepared for those declines!

I just answered this question.

190 guests invited, 140 confirmed, plenty of them are parents - no issues. Still waiting on 30 RSVPs, but no one has said anything to me about bringing their children. Out of the 20 declines, only 3 of them are couples with small children.

It amazes me these days how people respond so negatively or are surprised by an adult only wedding. No, growing up it wasn't heard of in my family but I'm from a small town and have large families (dad was the youngest of 10 and my gma one of 13 - tons of family) - weddings I went to were extremely casual and large family events. Now, in the Chicago suburbs, weddings are very different. I have two kids and, while I take them most places, I understand someones decision for adults only.

Starting with the STDs, we only addressed things to the exact people invited. On the response cards to the wedding, we also put the exact number of people invited. We created a wedding website before we sent out STDs and had a blurb about childcare on there: "As much as we love our youngest friends and family, our wedding will be a formal event and we have made the decision to make it adult only (18+). We will have babysitters on site for anyone traveling from out of town. Please let Lauren and Andrew know as soon as possible if you'd like to utilize this option."

We didn't have ANY problems with this at all!

Grace, you can have kids in the bridal party as long as they're invited to the reception. I was saying if you want an adult-only reception, you can't have kids in the bridal party or you have to make exceptions for them. There are some brides who want kids in the bridal party, but want parents to take them home before the reception.

Just wondering too what everyone's reasons were for not having kids? I could think of plenty but I suppose mostly it came down to wanting an atmosphere where adults could relax without tending to their children. We have a lot of very young (toddler age) nieces and nephews and thought the potential for disruptions was big with a late starting ceremony and formal sit down dinner.

I didn't? have any issues.. everyone was understanding

No one has complained to us yet, we have actually gotten a couple thank you's lol

It's just an invite. Parents are free to accept or decline at their discretion, even though we would love to have them attend.

OP- Inviting 25 children means we'd have to leave 25 family members and friends off our guest list (venue has 125 max). That's not happening. Sitting and listening to a ceremony, eating, drinking and dancing are not exactly kid friendly events. We just didn't want to deal with it.

Some cousins complained but we held our ground and that was that

I have been to a few weddings family and non family. Some had kids, some didn't. Our friends got married last year and they had their 3 girls in the BP. It was adorable. They had a family friend that volunteered to watch the littlest one since she was barely over a year old so it worked out beautifully and had some funny moments too. No other kids were there. I guess it comes down to what you want and what you can afford/knowing your guests. We have plenty of time to plan, but we have decided that we are not having kids. Youngest person there will be my oldest niece who will be 16 by that time and she is going to be in the BP. Go with what you want and will make you happy. If they can't be pressed to find a babysitter that's on them, not you. You don't need that extra drama!

We're doing adults only. It's a little bit easier for us because we're doing a DW, and the resort is adults only. But for the most part, our loved ones with children are thrilled to have an excuse to be alone for a week.

I think you have the right attitude. If someone doesn't want to leave their children and they don't want to come, that's fine. Have the wedding you want. Children are very specifically needy and not great guests, especially at something as not-child-friendly as a wedding. Give yourself the gift of peace and do not feel bad.

I was nervous what people would think...but most people seem to be happy about it. In fact, the few kids I did invite (immediate family only) the parents seemed to want to get babysitters so they could enjoy the event. Overall, I think we'll have a 14 year old, three 8 year olds, and a few 3-4 year olds.

We went no kids (and realized late it was Mother's Day weekend). Didn't have any complaints from anyone, everyone found a babysitter.

The only person to ask was FH brother who ironically won't even have his daughter that weekend. Interesting, his ex wife is invited (she is still close with the family) and didn't even ask. She made arrangements with no problem.

I asked for no kids at my wedding and I was surprised by the fact that everyone is looking forward to a night out without their children... so I didn't get any complaints.

Um, I come from a HUGE family. I have 18 nieces and nephews and counting. One of my aunt/uncles has 20+kids and almost all of them now have multiple kids. I was only 20 when I got married. I have NEVER heard of an adult only wedding until last year.l when my cousin got married. Her dad (my uncle and pastor) is the brother of my aunt of sooooo many kids and grandkids. It was weird for her to request no kids since she is also an aunt at age 30. I support the choices of the bride and groom. If they don't want kids there, then fine, I just don't understand it and don't think they need to be rude about it. Kids are freaking awesome and cute. I don't have any of my own, but I'm the oldest of 6, have 18 nieces and nephews, have like 50 cousins, and want like 10 of my own some day. My husband is the same. He is one of 5. His parents each have 8 and 9 siblings. It's not like the bride and groom are babysitting them, so I just don't get it. At my wedding, they were all so well-behaved and looked after so well. I didn't have to worry about a thing, except getting to dance and get pics with every single one of those adorable creatures.

‘Kids are freaking awesome and cute.‘

Yeah not everyone thinks this.

‘ It was weird for her to request no kids since she is also an aunt at age 30. ‘

Um explain to me why that’s so weird.

Oh and this is a very old thread. Just an update, my adults only wedding was awesome. I regret some decisions we made about our wedding but absolutely, 100 perecent I do not regret the decision to go adults only.