For those who have had their weddings - did extra people show up or people that had RSVP no?

This is exactly what I am worried about as my invites go out next week. I am ready for the wedding to be over so I can get rid of the planning stress and drama.

Try calling them one more time. Assuming they don't pick up, leave a message for them along the lines of "Hi Uncle Mark, it's MJ. I just thought I would reach out one more time because the final numbers are due to our caterer by noon tomorrow [pad this a little, like say noon if it's actually 5 PM]. If you are able to make it please let me know ASAP so that I can order a meal for you. If I don't hear from you before then I will mark you down as a no."

Make sure you include the line about ordering a meal for them. That makes it crystal clear to even the socially clueless that they MUST respond if they want to attend or and they cannot just drop in if they happen to be available on the day of.

I am worried about this too! I've heard it DOES happen that people will show up who didn't RSVP, or people will not show up who did. I'm guessing if a few people show up who were not expected, your venue could accommodate them and bill you for their meals. I would ask your venue what they do in those situations. I also agree, with StPaulGal...reach out to them one more time and make it clear you'd love for them to be there but if you don't hear from them by X time, you will mark them as a no. Good luck!

I did not have anyone show up that did not RSVP, however, I made extra effort to physically literally have a conversation with everyone who was invited to find out if they were coming. I had people RSVP yes and then not come though.

Yea - I am going to reach out to them one more time and make it clear that I'm not counting them in final numbers for venue and caterer. What worries me is that since the caterer is not in-house they can't just cook up more stuff in the back.

It's just the people that I invited that have given me issues. FH family and friends have all followed directions lol.

I also have one friend that was in a relationship when I sent the invitation and now is not. She said she might bring a guest or she might not but to leave the extra seat reserved for her.

One of FH's aunt's was not invited (haven't talked in years), but she is coming with his grandparents, who only RSVP'd for 2. Thankfully, we found out about it but apparently no one was going to tell us she was coming. We still have one guest who hasn't RSVP'd at all--we reached out to her, and her only response was "I'll try to get the time off". At this point I just included her, but if she has a SO that we don't know about, they're going to end up sharing a plate!

I'm with you on being over it. We're almost there! The countdown is becoming less a 'yay I'm going to be married' and more 'yay this planning will all be OVER!'

People are inconsiderate. My MOH announced two days before my wedding that she was bringing a last minute date. We had three meals planned for our guests with final numbers given days beforehand. Fortunately everyone was understanding and people were still fed. I was not pleased.

I did not let anyone get away with not RSVPing. Those that I didn't get a response from were called, emailed, texted FB messaged, then called again. I got a response from everyone. Those that told me that they may or may not bring a date were told that if they could not provide me a name by our catering deadline then a date could not be accommodated. I gave exact numbers to the caterer. We had a buffet and our caterer automatically buffers by 10%. We ended up with 3 no shows and 1 person brought a date after I was told that they were coming alone.

I had quite a few "no shows" that couldn't be avoided but they called us to let us know ahead of time. The wife of one couple was in the hospital, the husband of another passed away, and the husband of another couple had to last minute travel for work.

I did however have a couple "maybes" which was super annoying.

My friends mom kept saying she wasn't sure if she was bringing a guest or not? Like this isn't how this works?? Lol. And I had another friend trying so hard to come and find cheap plane tickets and decided she was a no last minute. When I gave my final counts I counted my 2 maybes as 1 person since I knew they were both unlikely to come but if 1 randomly said yes I would have a spot for them.

My caterer was a buffet and told me that they always have a little extra food just incase so I wasn't too worried about it. I would just keep trying to get a hold of them and explain that your caterer needs the numbers by x date and kind of give them a time limit. I had to do that with a few others too who didn't rsvp and said they weren't sure yet. Super annoying

That is a good idea call them again...

For my first wedding I had exactly one friend call me and tell me he had come down with a bug that morning and one extra person show up...so the food worked out well, though not so much the seatong chart. >.<

You need an exact number. Call them and explain you need a firm yes or no by x date or otherwise you will miss having them there.

My venue charges a extra 30% for extra guest the day of the wedding. I need a reply from everyone even my wedding party

My family does not believe in RSVPing. My MOH had to reach out to my mom after the RSVP date for my bridal shower. I will be calling all of my family May 22nd (RSVP date is May 20th). It will go a little something like this:

"Hi, I am just reaching out to you one last time to see if you are coming to the wedding as I did not receive your RSVP. I need an answer by Thursday, otherwise if you wanna show up, you better be bringing a sack lunch and a lawn chair. Byyyye"

We did not have anyone show up who was a no but I did have a guest ask to bring someone the morning of. I already had one guest cancel after I turned in final numbers so it all worked out.

I would call back the "maybes" and say you need a firm number to give the caterer so you need to know by x date, otherwise you will assume they are not coming and there will not be a seat or a meal available for them.

I had a few no shows. I felt really bad because my favorite aunt and uncle were seated at the table they were meant to sit at. I think they were bummed that their table was half empty. But it was a week a lot of people were getting the flu, so it's not like they just skipped out.

Go with @StPaulGal's advice! That is rock solid and just about what we did in order to get a final head count.