For those that have had a destination wedding...

I’m having a destination too but it hasn’t happened yet so I can’t give any advice there. However, a friend of mine had a destination wedding in New Orleans recently and she said they have 5 or 6 people do this (it might have been 5-6 couples but I can’t remember what she said!). Basically people said yes but then didn't book travel or accommodations till the last minute, didn’t realize how expensive it would be and therefore backed out at the last minute. I’m actually a bit worried about this as well since some guests have rsvp’d yes but I know they haven’t booked a room in our block yet.


Curious what others have experienced !

View Quoted Comment Ugh! It hadn’t even occurred to me before I read other people‘s posts that this could happen! In my mind I was just assuming whoever RSVP’ed is who would actually attend. But, I could totally see this happening with people! I think a DW is super fun in theory for a lot of people, but when it comes time to actually put up the money, it is a different story. The difficult part is that I have to have an accurate headcount for the venue in advance. And if people last minute pull out, we will still be left paying for their meals since it is a plated meal. Also, we have had to cut our guest list waaaaaay down to accommodate the small venue. If people RSVP yes, then do not show up, that would have been a spot we could’ve given to somebody else we would have liked to invite. 😫🤦🏼‍♀️

We made our RSVP due about 4 months prior to wedding date and stressed multiple times on the website about booking in advance. We emphasized that the lodge would be releasing our room blocks 3 months prior to our event so if they wanted to book, they need to do so ASAP. Our parents reserved lodgings about 1 week after we sent our invites because we warned them that everything books up fast. And yes, you might still have some people back out, but do the best you can to warn them about early booking.

View Quoted Comment This is literally my daily angst! I have been lightweight harassing my guests to make sure their still coming! 😩😭. So far I think our no show rate will be low but I’m shocked at how many people waited until the last minute to book travel even though we gave over a years notice

We had a 100% RSVP and attendance... but we only had 15 guests. It was an 8-hour drive for about 1/2 the guests and a 1-2 hour flight for the others.


I think once your guest list goes beyond immediate family and BFFs there’s a chance for a few last minute “I can’t attend” replies.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, we may have to do something like this as well. At least for the few people we think may be a flight risk LOL maybe we will end up contacting them directly if we receive an RSVP from them.

View Quoted Comment Ugh!! Don’t people know how much work/stress/planning a wedding is?! 😫 LOL Real talk though, I had NO idea what all went into a wedding until I had to plan one. I swear I will be the most respectful, responsive guest ever from now on! 😆

View Quoted Comment Well, you're giving me hope! LOL We are keeping our guest list to a maximum of 50, which will only include parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and closest friends. I think the “friend” category is the only one we low-key need to worry about.

View Quoted Comment Are you committed to anything based on numbers? Hotel rooms, F&B spend, etc? That’s where is gets more stressful.


If not, don’t worry because even 20+ guests will seem like a wonderful yet intimate party! Where your DW again?

View Quoted Comment We are. There has to be a minimum of 15 people for them to even do a pleated reception dinner, and we do have to meet a minimum dollar amount for food and beverage - but I’m not really worried about hitting either minimum. We have to give them a final plate count at least 30 days out, and I am worried some people will RSVP yes then last minute decided not to go, leaving us having to pay for their plates anyway. And those empty seats could have gone to someone else that wanted to go. The hotel is doing a courtesy block for us. I believe they revisit it six months out, three months out, and one month out to see what percentage has been booked. If you do not meet a minimum percent of booked rooms, they release a certain number of them back to the public. I don’t mind if people RSVP no, I just don’t want to waste money and empty seats on people who say they will go then last minute don’t. We had to cut our guest list down a lot because the venue originally told us it could hold way more people than it actually can comfortably 😕 On the plus side, we are getting married in New Orleans, which is a super fun (and pretty affordable) destination! A lot of our guests have never been there and seem to be really excited about going. And since it is not overseas, there is also the option for people to drive if they don’t want to fly. I am hoping these things will prevent people from dropping out last minute! 🤞🏻

View Quoted Comment They must not! It’s soooo frustrating! I am so over the “I’m not sure” or “I’ll let you know”. 😭

View Quoted Comment New Orleans will be a blast! 🎉 Would love to attend a wedding there. Fabulous for future anniversary trips there too if you want.


Excellent. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Wish you could give your final head county two weeks before though. Ugh.
We had to follow up on so many RSVPs for our local reception (still 4 no-shows but 1 we figured would flake). Those ticked me off because none were for sickness/etc. Simply “too busy/too tired.” But they weren’t close friends, nor would they be after that. But to get the RSVPs we said something like “We’d love for you to be there but understand if you can’t make it! We need to pre-pay our venue for meals and drinks, can you please give me your final RSVP answer by DATE?” We hoped by being clear we’d have to pre-pay for them, guests would be upfront if they didn’t want to/couldn’t attend.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We are super excited about it! And you are right, it will definitely make a fun anniversary trip in the future!!


I think that as guests, people think it’s no big deal if they don’t show up (“eh, there will be a lot of people there... The couple will be busy... they won’t even notice if we’re there or not”). Unless you have planned a wedding, I don’t think you realize how much time, energy, stress, and money goes into it! I really like your idea of getting ahold of guests who have not RSVP’ed & letting them know we need to pre-pay for their meals. I know if I was told that, I wouldn’t mess around and waste the couple’s money. Sometimes I think people feel guilty about declining a wedding invitation. I’m just over here like, I don’t care if you say yes or no, just make up your mind and stick to it! LOL

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Exactly! I would hope a lot of people just don't realize that if they flake after saying "yes" it actually COSTS the couple money...that's wasted because they didn't show up. That's why I didn't mind giving them an out. I didn't want anyone to say "yes" out of guilt only to cancel later for various reasons.