Foot Washing Ceremony

I think it's beautiful. And I'd maybe wrote your own little speech about how you are going to serve each other in love and have some instrumental music playing.

@Celia, foot washing is an act of service, Jesus showed His disciples what true service is by washing their feet and gave us an example to do the same. Gal. 5:13 "by love serve one another". We do it as a ceremony in churches only as a symbol of what we should be doing everyday! Serveing each other! I would be a hypocrite to wash feet during a religious service and then leave church and be uncaring to those around me. I grew up being tought that marriage is serving your partner, it's selfless giving. I'm so blessed to have a FH who cares for me and will do anything for me. Foot washing is a symbol of service and so to me it fits perfectly into a wedding ceremony where you are committing your life to each other and to love and cherish each other. Foorwashing as religious? I think everyone pretty much associates it with religion. But in the Middle East 2000 years ago it was a common practice (maybe it still is today).

This seems like a religious and intimate moment. If you are not religious and are wanting to do this I would be confused as a guest. Maybe do this behind closed doors?

I hear foot washing and I think of the Last Supper, when Jesus informs his apostles that one of them will betray him.

@FilleNouvelle

Exactly! Would you suggest the officiant describes it as we do it, or we ourselves do?

In my mind, I almost imagine it as a vow we speak to each other "I promise to put you and your needs first" kind of a thing, but I can also see the beauty in having the officiant briefly explain and then having soft instrumental as we do it in silence, or only murmuring to each other.

Also, I'm posting a link below of a beautiful foot washing ceremony- I think many people commenting may not have a clear idea of what it looks like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZqPZ3Mv3Lw

I actually think this is beautiful. And I HATE Feet! But I have seen where a reading is done explaining the less informed in your audience can understand what it is. When you marry your husband that is what you are promising, service and obedience. Only our society today has made these terms "cringe worthy". I actually would love a wash ceremony but I know my fiance wouldn't. We have worked a wedding where the father first washed his daughters feet before walking her down the aisle, then the husband washed her feet again during the service. It was very touching and beautiful.

I'm all dolled up in this beautiful wedding dress...hang on, let me bend down and wash your gross feet. Sorry, feet are gross for me.

To each their own. I do get the symbolism behind this. If you are going to do it, I'd say an instrumental song paying in the background. I agree with PP...I'd be a little weirded out seeing this as a guest.

@Rachel Our officiant is going to do our explanations! We gave her some links about the tradition, and she's going to write her own passage so it'll fit in nicely with the ceremony. Also adds an extra element of formality to it, which I liked.

For all those who are super grossed out by the feet washing, you know this isn't like a scrub brush and soap, get between the toes kinda thing, right? The way we've always done it in my culture (and for us it's the groom's mother as a sign of welcome into her household) it's literally just pouring water on the feet and then dabbing them off with a cloth.

I like the idea of doing it during the first look or pictures as someone else mentioned before.

FH and I are both Christians, and I considered doing this a while ago. I don't know if I ever brought it up with him but I ended up deciding it just seemed like too much. I have no problem with feet or anything (I've washed homeless men's feet so FH's feet are a dream compared to that) but it just didn't seem appropriate. It just seems like it'd take a long time, it'd be wet and messy potentially, guests might think it's weird or get bored. Also, I think without the religious context to it, people might get lost as to what's going on. At least have your officiant describe why you're doing it.

I think the sentiment behind it is really beautiful but I think it would be more well fit for an intimate moment with you and your FH, before or after the ceremony, that can be documented in photos.

@DesertFox That sounds beautiful!! I may have my Dad do that! That would be so symbolic for me (and I know my Dad would be honored if I mentioned this to him). I was thinking about doing it with all the parents involved (I would wash his mother's feet and he would my mother's) but I did end up thinking that was too much.

For me it would be more like "Thank you MIL for the gift of your son. I promise to honor and respect him, and to honor and respect you." And then he with my mother. If we did it this way though, it wouldn't be during the ceremony, but probably just before.

@FilleNouvelle Exactly! Your hands don't even need to touch the feet if you really don't want them too (pour the water and they put their foot straight on a towel).

Love this idea! But I also don't really understand why people get grossed out by feet

Unless you're doing this for religious reasons, then I say EW. Guests don't want to sit through a longer ceremony just so you can humble yourself in front of your partner in such a weird and archaic way. You're literally giving yourselves to one another through marriage....if that's not humbling, I don't know what is!

I'm sorry, but you're taking something that is meant to symbolize religion, and not wanting it to be religious at all? That's not how that works. After all, if you're not doing it for the purpose it was meant for, why do it at all? There are many other ways to express your willingness and intent to respect and honor your FH. Like by verbally saying so, or finding another way other than to use foot washing. This is certainly ewwww, but it goes much deeper than that for me...

Not my thing, but I would definitely have something else going on like a reading or music. I think a reading would be good on why you decided to do it as what it symbolizes

Foot washing is not inherently religious... The idea of washing a partner's feet has been around a lot longer than organized religion... It's more cultural than religious, really.

And I feel the need to say- all traditions come from others and interchange, especially wedding traditions. One religion or one culture does not "own" a tradition. I feel it would be much more dishonest and disrespectful if we used bible passages during our foot washing since my FH is not religious. It is the intent that makes a tradition a certain way, not the action itself. So for me and my family, the foot washing will have a slightly different significance than for his family, and again it will have a slightly different meaning between the two of us, based on what is in our heart.

Ex. I saw some people comparing this to communion- If we were to just share bread and wine (the way a traditional communion is served), but without saying the words of blessing over it, would any religious person be offended? No, because we are just sharing bread and wine (maybe to symbolize how we will always nourish one another in body and soul... whatever). But if we shared bread and wine, AND said it is blessed by God and that it is Holy Communion, but my FH isn't religious, so he would be essentially lying, that would be much more offensive to me (and I think to the majority of Christians in general) than the first case scenario.

Yes, has communion been used by religion to represent one thing. Does any religion "own" the sharing of bread and wine, no.

Rant over.

Love love love the beautiful act of serving each other you go girl

As someone who has really limited Christian understanding I think it'd be wise, almost necessary, to have your officiant explain the significance unless you're 100% certain everyone in attendance knows where this is coming from. I just learned what this was a few months ago, and would probably be very confused (and admittedly judgey) if I didn't know the importance behind it.

I see alot of people don't understand the meaning behind it

We are doing a foot washing ceremony at our wedding in place of a unity candle or sand. I am super excited about it (even though people give me weird looks when I tell them!) Before the foot washing, we are going to have our officiant say some words about the meaning & significance to us of the ceremony. Then, I have a cousin who is VERY musically inclined and he & his girlfriend sing really well together. So, we are going to have them cover a couple of songs during the foot washing! I think that they are awesome, no matter what anyone else says!

I think a lot of other commenters are missing the point here. Yes, you did invite your guests to be a part of your wedding day so on some level you should accommodate for them. However, I’m sorry the ceremony is ABOUT the bride and groom and their eternal commitment to one another. If aunt suzy in the back (or heck the front) row is grossed out by feet, so what? Your guests can handle feeling uncomfortable for a couple minutes if it something that’s important to you! I agree with a few other comments that you know your guests and probably can feel out how they will respond to this part of your ceremony.


Also, a foot washing is really not that uncommon these days so I don’t understand the number of shocked or negative comments this post has received.
I do agree that it is pretty religious in nature and is usually meant to reference the biblical action, I haven’t heard of anyone doing it outside of that. I saw one wedding where the couple had a friend perform a song live and it was really nice and gave the guest some “entertainment” as the foot washing took place. In this case I do think it was a christian worship song but if you’re aiming non religious you could find a song that suits you.