Food expectations for destination wedding

Sorry meant to say fruit and caprese skewers. And the dessert reception following the ceremony will be at 2:30/3ish if that makes a difference

As a guest, I would expect more than bagels and appetizers if I spent a bunch of $ to attend your wedding. People will be there to celebrate and love on you either way, but in my option, they deserve to be well fed. People remember the food always.

View Quoted Comment One part of me is considering not doing the cruise for everyone and just doing a sit down dinner and going on the cruise for me and my spouse. Because a yacht cruise isn’t cheap and I can’t really treat everybody to both. I do want guests to get a return on their $ and have an experience to remember which is why I thought the cruise would be a good idea—The appetizers on the boat are things like chicken kabobs, coconut shrimp and smoked salmon bite things, it’s just not a suitable Spot for a sit down dinner given it’s more of a yacht. I appreciate the feedback because I do worry that guests won’t feel properly treated and the boat would be so expensive that if they wouldn’t feel properly treated with that and would rather have steak or something than I’d rather just do that.

When you have a destination wedding, the expectations of hosting are actually even higher than a local wedding. Guests are taking on the high costs of traveling (airfare, hotels, food/beverages, entertainment, taking time off work, etc.), so it is absolutely expected that you provide a high level of hosting. You need to provide an ample full meal at your reception (which you should 100% pay for- guests should never have to open their wallets at your wedding) and that’s the minimum! Typically, people who have destination weddings also provide welcome bags for their guests and a thank you/farewell brunch on the final day. Many couples also include a welcome dinner the first night.

View Quoted Comment We were planning on a welcome dinner the first night and a beach day the day after the wedding. I do feel that a sunset cruise is nothing to scoff at, but given that a “full ample meal” would be less expensive anyways, I’m thinking about just doing that.

View Quoted Comment Totally understand! A yacht in USVI sounds super expensive but sounds like a fantastic treat to your guests.
Keep in mind, your guests aren't expecting a yacht so they wont be disappointed in something they don't know about... but they probably are expecting a formal meal and could be disappointed with appetizers.
With that said, you know your guests more than anyone, so maybe try an informal survey to see which they would rather do. I like the idea of a private rental for you and hubby, that way you get the best of both worlds.

For my destination wedding, we got tix to a catamaran cruise but we just phrased it like hey we're going on an excursion on Friday, if you want to get tickets let me know

View Quoted Comment That’s a good idea! I actually did decide to just go ahead and ask people their thoughts since it is a small group and they all love me very much. I’ve made a few phone calls already. And everyone so far wants the cruise. And I can always upgrade the catering if need be too but it would still be more like a standing, serve yourself kind of thing. And right now I’m thinking about going ahead with the cruise but then reserving a table at a restaraunt on the beach that I can afford to just pay for everyone. Otherwise I feel like the timing is awkward to do dinner at 3pm. So did you have your guests pay for their own tickets if they decided to join you on the excursion? Or did you cover that as well in addition to the meal?

I think the bagels, etc. would be fine if doing a full dinner or appetizers on the yacht would be fine after a full lunch, but there should be a complete meal at some point, especially with alcohol in the mix.

View Quoted Comment That's a great idea.. cruise with small apps then a full dinner on the beach. As long as there's a full meal at some point, I think you're good. And if they eat enough finger foods on the boat, your bill on the beach might not be that high


I did have my guests pay for the excursion. I had a cocktail hour and reception on my wedding day both open bar and full meals so I didn't look at the excursion as something that was part of my wedding... just an optional activity while we were on vacation. All of my "party" guests joined, I pretty much knew who would do it worked out.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree. The bagels and skewers and snacks are purely because it’s 2pm and not quite time for dinner but wanting to have stuff to eat due to doing toasts and mimosas and everyone went through a ton of planning and costs to get there. And then the yacht would have substantial enough of a meal to constitute dinner but would not be a sit down feel. It wouldn’t be like a filet mignon and salad type of deal.

As others have said, your guests deserve a full meal at some point. Both your reception and the sunset cruise are appetizers. People need to eat an actual meal.

Based on the times of your events, particularly the cruise being over dinner time, you have to feed your guests more. Fruit and bagels at 2/3 pm is not sufficient unless the heavy apps you have planned are *heavyyyy*. I agree with others to cancel the cruise for more food or find room in your budget to add a real dinner that you pay for.

I would be okay with it but I'm pretty easy going. If they are traveling down there with you, they are obviously people you are close with, and will love to be with you regardless.

View Quoted Comment The apps on the boat are unlimited and very heavy, but I’ve decided to do a bagels and bubbly cocktail hour for guests with bagels, yogurt parfaits, fruit, caprese skewers while we’re doing pictures and then a luncheon with smoked salmon wraps, chicken or Mediterranean flatbread with salad bread and sides for a vegetarian option and then still do the boat cruise with heavy apps and open bar. It seems like a ton of food and I’m worried people won’t be hungry enough at 2-3 for all that but I’d rather that then not enough. And I’ll put on the invites that we’re having a full meal so they can plan accordingly to be hungry lol

View Quoted Comment Do not put on the invite that you’re having a full meal - you’re not. You can put “heavy appetizers” as that’s what it is but still not a full meal.

View Quoted Comment It’s a plated meal with a protein sides Salad and bread plus appetizers for the table. how is that not a meal? I’m genuinely curious.
Do I have to serve filet mignon for it to be a meal 😂😂🥴

View Quoted Comment Every time you mentioned food you referred to it as appetizers. I don’t consider a chicken wrap dinner with sides dinner. It’s not about being fancy food, just a proper meal. If it were a large piece of salmon or chicken breast served with sides, following the heavy appetizers that would be dinner. You have said yourself countless times that it is appetizers.

View Quoted Comment Yeah before I decided to add on a luncheon. Based on this thread. There was going to be bagels Heavy apps and mimosas At the reception portion and then heavy apps/dinner on the boat with an open bar. Then I added lunch, smoked salmon wrap or chicken or Mediterranean flatbread plus sides bread and salad and all the food that I was originally going to have.

View Quoted Comment I’m also a super easy going low maintenance person. Some of these forums have been foreign to me like people actually expect so much from weddings 😅 I’ve Had my SO run me through McDonald’s after a wedding and never thought anything of it other than I was drunk and wanted some McDonald’s 😂 I went to a wedding that was on a basketball court in a high school.I’ve been to weddings that used their iPod for music I went to a wedding that had pizza. I’ve been to receptions that didn’t serve any food at all and put on the invites to eat before you go. I mean I always thought it was about the couple. And I’ve never felt entitled to more than the couple could afford. Plus, my group is already super grateful for the cruise and said they’d rather have that than steak. I feel that a full lunch(I’ve decided to add this based on feedback here), appetizers at the cocktail hour, reception and boat cruise, paid for cruise and open bar is beyond “properly hosting.” I definitely don’t mind paying for my own drinks at wedding if that five dollar drink doesn’t add up to a 2000 bill to host an open bar. Maybe I’m crazy, and it’s clear I’m new here but people On here genuinely get mad and offended And expect people to overextend their means and that’s baffling to me.

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Agree, I have never once been to a wedding, and left feeling like I didn't get what was entitled to me lol