I need some genuine advice ladies. I have not had any issues in planning this wedding EXCEPT for the wedding rehearsal dinner. My FMIL and FSIL are driving me up a wall and I'm trying to figure out how to handle it.
A little background: This is my first wedding but my FH's second. His ex's family completely took over the wedding rehearsal dinner, even though my FMIL was in the middle of planning it. His ex's family sent invitations out to the rehearsal dinner and did not include his parents. I am very sensitive to what happened and don't want her to feel I would ever treat her that way.
With that being said, FMIL is very adamant about planning the rehearsal dinner, which I had no problems with in the beginning. She has only asked me one time what I wanted, and I explained I wanted a brunch after the rehearsal. She insisted on doing lunch or an early dinner instead, so I agreed. No problem. She then suggested a buffet place (Golden Corral, Old Country Buffet) and I told her that was not the type of vibe I wanted, still trying to be sensitive and appreciative. I suggested a couple of restaurants and told her the wedding planner would do the leg work on getting quotes and availability. She didn't seem like she was interested in any of the choices, so the wedding planner suggested booking a conference room at one of the hotels we blocked off. We could cater in food and bring in beer and wine with a one day liquor permit, which is super cheap. ($25 for the permit). She was good with that idea.
Fast forward to last Friday. Her and my FSIL came down for lunch at one of the places I suggested for catering. It's a really nice bbq place that will deliver and setup in the hotel room. During lunch, we discussed catering prices and everything went left. FMIL insisted that we do the rehearsal and afterwards open up dinner to both sides of the family for a huge meet and greet. There would be no intimate dinner just for the bridal party and immediate family. She also wants to potluck it instead of catering. Also, FSIL wanted to setup a games table for the kids. I was in such shock I didn't agree or disagree at that point. I spoke with my FH later on that evening and he was totally against that idea. He agreed that this was an inappropriate time to try to plan a "family reunion" type event.
FH and I suggested to FMIL/FSIL that we could have a casual meet and greet at our house a couple days before and just do the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner for only the bridal party. FSIL was not happy with the idea but begrudgingly got her mom to agree. After all of that, the next day I asked what was the final verdict on where we stand with the rehearsal dinner and I was told by FSIL "We're taking care of it. Don't worry about." Ma'am, no ma'am. I am livid but trying to be respectful. They have completely made this event about what they want and are refusing to listen to what FH and I would like. I am at a loss. What would you do?
