fmil Rant

My fmil tells everyone she cant wait to be a grandma. My mom has 5 grandkids already. My mom pushing me but has told me to at least have one. But it annoys me a bit cause everyone i meet tells me, "your fmil keeps talking about being a grandma." I tell my fh that if she wanted to be a grandma, she should've made him date a younger woman lol. I know women can have kids in their 40's (my mom had 3 after 40). But who knows with me. It does annoy me. Like i feel like shes using me to have children. But i just ignore her. Thats all you can really do. She's excited, just let her be.

Hi Kali! You are totally entitled to have a rant here! We are all here to listen and offer advice where we can. I’m sorry that your FMIL is making you feel like this. She obviously doesn’t mean to hurt or upset you but if these comments make you feel uncomfortable, then I think you should talk to her about it. She is obviously excited about the idea of being a grandma, and that’s great but that does not overshadow the importance of YOUR feelings or the timeline you and your FH have planned for your life together.

Do you think having a conversation about how her comments make you feel would benefit your relationship as you prepare for your wedding?

I think many of our parents fear "old age" and think they'll miss out on being active and alive when we eventually decide to have children. I know, it's frustrating. Just have a sit down with her and let her know that you and FH do intent on making her a grandmom but that'd you like to be more settled right now. Also, that you would like if she'd stop pressuring you or mentioning it because it can be overwhelming.

My FMIL is crazy about having grandkids. She already has 3, but since we are getting married in November, she was quick out of the gates to put pressure on us to have kids ASAP! She went as far to say I could get pregnant before the wedding and just buy a new dress, if that's the case! Don't get me wrong, we want to start trying right after the wedding (already in our early 30s), but I feel this weird pressure of "what if I can't get pregnant that quick".. Best advice, try to shrug it off, let your response be "we'll see" or "maybe" or "soon".. Keep it short and know that when you do get pregnant she'll be equally excited now or in 5 years!

My MIL has been asking for a grandchild since she met me, at first I would laugh it off and just say things like "Maybe one day" etc. As my hubby and I got engaged she pushed a little harder with the subject and one day even told us "You can have the kids and give them to me but with papers" Like What?? My husbands grandmother came from El Salvador for the wedding and one day MIL started with the baby thing again and I stopped and told her "Whenever God wants it to happen it'll happen but for now stop pushing the subject please" My hubbys grandmother turned to my MIL and told her "Whats wrong with you? Leave them alone thy're just getting married, let them enjoy themselves" Since then my MIL now tells people " I dont ask them when they're going to have a baby anymore, it'll just happen one day" Thanks Grandma!

That's so frustrating I'm so sorry. Can you politely tell her " we will start trying when we're ready". Also FH should definitely say something to her. It might stand more if he says this to his own mother.