fmil rant. Pain in my rump.

Yiiiiikes. I mean, if she wants a trial, I would just let her know that expense will be hers so if she wants to set it up she will need to call. Trials are expensive anyway. What other colors are you having in your wedding? I would (gently) explain to her that you would rather her wear a dress of x, y, or z color. That’s such a tricky subject based on how she’s been giving backhanded compliments. Or get your fiancé to tell her you’re the only one allowed to wear white on your wedding day

I know this is upsetting but try not to let her get to you. If she chooses to wear a dress similar to yours all people will remember about it is how pathetic that decision was for her. No one will ruin your experience unless you let them and this day is all about celebrating you and your FH, people don’t pay attention to the mother of the groom

Have your fiance talk to her about the dress. As for the trial... Set it up and if she doesn't like it you've done your due diligence. So sorry that you have that added stress... Sending you positive vibes and Good luck with that!

Yikes! Your FMIL seems to come off passive aggressive, and a little narcissistic

View Quoted Comment I told her that the trail alone is $300 and never gave me a follow answer if she wants the number for them. My colors are green white and gold so I suggested either navy or maroon since my mom is wearing a gold dress. She said maroon and green would look to Christmasy so I said navy would look really nice with the hunter green my girls are wearing. She seemed to like the navy idea but totally switched it to silver. I showed her dresses and she didn’t like any of them.

Is her choice very bridal, in fabric and style?

View Quoted Comment Yes! It’s a fit and flare which is the style of my dress, it’s tulle and beading/sequins. It looks like something you’d wear for a vow renewal or a second marriage.

So not a wool crepe or something unbridal, though similar style. No. Ask FI to talk with her.
When I was soloist for a friend's wedding, waiting near a side door, the bride's mother was greeting people there. Everyone knee length dressy, or suits. Bride, long white with lace overlay. MOB surprised her daughter not in the gold wool dress and jacket suit she bought. But in the palest of gold satin, she said, basically cream. With a cream lace overlay, and A line like bride, floor length like bride. Some people made snide remarks to MOB, oh, Marge, are you getting a new husband today? And, Did not know it was a double ceremony. Introduce us to the groom! Or, as they walked away and behind her, said in carrying voices, She could never be accused of having good judgement, or Julie should have chosen higher neck matching bridal gowns. Marge has such a crepey skin neck and arms. Other mean things not to her but they knew she could hear. Mean. But they thought she was being nasty to her own daughter. Have FI explain, silver and white and a bridal style, people will make mean remarks, and long after the wedding, she will be the joke of every discussion about the wedding. You cannot tell her what to wear. But you can make it clear how awful she will feel at the wedding, and after, if she does not wear something more queen -mother than Bridal.
How awful. My sympathy. My first marriage, MIL was a nightmare. This one, a wonderful woman I treasure.

So my fiance and I have been friends for 11 years. And his family is being completely ridiculous about us getting engaged. His mom basically is convinced I'm the devil and whenever they get into a fight they pull our relationship into it and make him feel horrible. And I can't do anything about it because I live two hours away. I'm still in college. And she tried telling him I was probably cheating on him and I've talked to him about how all of this was making me feel and it always leads to a fight between us. Our families have gotten along for years and now that I'm engaged to their son it's like I'm not good enough or something and it really sucks to think that the family you're marrying into will probably hate you but then change all of that and pretend like nothing happened when my fiance and I get pregnant (which we will be trying asap after the wedding)