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Chloe
Devoted October 2020

fmil is driving us nuts!!

Chloe, on November 18, 2019 at 10:24 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19
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My FMIL has been driving us crazzzyyy!! We obviously love her dearly but she is going crazy with her personal invitee list. We have been engaged for over a year and are getting married in Oct 2020. More than 70% of our guests will be traveling/flying to get to our wedding so we sent save the dates earlier this month. This must have Hit the switch for her because all of these “close friends” are coming out of the woodwork that she absolutely NEEDS us to invite. FH and I are paying for everything ourselves and she hasn’t offered anything (which is fine!) but it’s really getting out of hand. This morning she sent a screenshot to us of a text from her best friend (we’ve never heard this woman’s name before) the woman said that she and her husband didn’t get their save the date yet and if it was lost in the mail. LIKE SERIOUSLY?? Then FMIL told us to add her to the list and send a save the date. FH is absolutely livid, I had to calm him down! We’ve spoken to her about this and she just won’t stop. Has anybody else dealt with this!?

19 Comments

Latest activity by Chloe, on November 18, 2019 at 12:13 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    “I’m sorry but our guest list is full. You’ll have to let so and so know they aren’t invited.” She’s continuing to do it because you’re continuing to let her do it so unless you set boundaries, she’s likely to keep this going until the wedding.
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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    I think most couples deal with this! The best way to handle it is saying “we have x amount of seats and we are already filled up. Save the dates have been sent so we cannot amend our guest list.”
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    The thing is that we have spoken to her many times about the limited guest list and even had my FFIL speak to her too. She just chooses to ignore us, which I literally can’t comprehend how a grown woman is acting this way
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    Very true, i just wish that she would just listen to us and respect us and our decisions. We’ll speak to her again and probably say exactly this! Thanks!!
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  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    She's just going to have to be offended. If your fiance and your father in law have BOTH already spoken to her about this, it's not an issue anymore, I would ignore her and if her friends get offended they don't get an invite because she promised them one, SHE will be the one with her foot in her mouth, not you.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I would give her a set number of guests she can invite and let her choose who she wants. If she wants to go over that number, she has to pay for their plates. Tell her it’s a financial issue and you just can’t afford to invite that many people without some help. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi ·
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    Good luck!
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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    Wow that sounds annoying. I’m so sorry. At this point I woke ignore her and tell her that you’ve all spoken to her about it and that you don’t wanna do this dance all planning long.
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    Seriously that’s where we are at this point! I get that she’s excited but we just can’t afford everyone in the world to be there
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    Yea she has far exceeded her amount, we know she won’t pay so now it’s really just ridiculous on her part 😩
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    Beyond annoying for sure! FH said he was going to call her this morning after we got the text so im hoping this final push can get through to her!
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  • Jazmine
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jazmine ·
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    Join the club! I just posted last week about my mom giving one of her coworkers a Save the Date even when I told her the lady wasn't invited! I have no idea why they do this. It make planning so not exciting and stressful.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’d still just tell her that and if she says she can’t afford it then say “neither can we” 🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Then she's going to end up being embarrassed when she has to tell her friends she misspoke. Just because she's inviting people, doesn't mean you have to agree. You've told her, several times, and she refuses to listen. So, just keep doing what you are doing, and her friends will figure it out eventually, and she'll have to explain.

    Try not to let it stress you out.

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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    I hope so! We’ve been lucky so far and our parents haven’t said anything about inviting extra people. Is your FH calmed down?
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    It actually blows my mind!! I know that they are excited too but what kills me is just the total lack of respect, how do they believe what they are doing is ok is beyond me!
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    Lol I like that!!
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    I’m trying really hard not to💕
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  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
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    He has! I think its just really frustrating for him in the sense that he wants to respect his mom but also needs her to respect him as an adult and is pretty much refusing to do so if she continues this way 😞
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