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Dedicated September 2020

fmil invited her friend to dress shop

Sabrina, on February 12, 2020 at 7:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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My FMIL called me last week to ask if she could bring her best friend to go dress shopping with us. I was appalled. This is a very special time for me and my mom was apprehensive of wanting her to come. I politely told her no.

Then I tell my FH and when his mom called him to "just hear the sound of his voice" he said something to her. I am now a little worried that maybe she thinks I run to him and tell him everything. Which I suppose I do, but we don't keep secrets and I want to vent to him.

How do I navigate this relationship!?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Sabrina, on February 13, 2020 at 3:52 PM

VIP September 2020
Neeva · on February 12, 2020 at 7:39 PM
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I think you did wonderfully. She asked, you politely said no.
FH likely wanted to get the scoop from his mom but as long as things didn't escalate during that conversation hopefully you can move forward from this awkward interaction.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on February 12, 2020 at 7:48 PM
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You did nothing wrong. Your FMIL had no right to invite her friend to your dress appointment and you can talk to you FH about whatever you want. Don’t feel bad about a thing.
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Dedicated September 2021
Ashley · on February 12, 2020 at 7:48 PM
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You are not wrong. Your fiance shouldn't have told his mom. Boundaries. Sometimes you need to vent and everything doesn't need to be reported. Dress shopping is intimate, half the time you're naked. You politely declined, she can be excited but inviting a friend of hers is crossing the line. I don't think you need help, you're doing fine. Maybe just let your fiance know that the things you discuss should stay between you.
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Dedicated September 2020
Sabrina · on February 12, 2020 at 7:55 PM
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Thanks ladies! I constantly have to reiterate to him that what I tell him should never be repeated.
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Devoted February 2020
Stevie · on February 12, 2020 at 8:35 PM
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I run to my FH for everyyyyything that I am not comfortable telling his mom. I do agree, I do not think it was her place to invite her friend (that you don't know) to your wedding dress appointment. I wouldn't stress about if she knows now or not, cause ultimately she needed to know that she was out of line.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on February 12, 2020 at 8:56 PM
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I think what you did was fine. You told her no and that was your choice and your FH should support you. It’s fine to share those things with him, especially when they involve his family.
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on February 12, 2020 at 9:48 PM
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I agree with Cyndy 100%
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VIP October 2020
Taylor · on February 13, 2020 at 8:25 AM
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He's going to be your husband. You should talk to him about everything. You didn't do anything wrong! I wouldn't want a stranger to come either. The less people, the better!
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Dedicated September 2020
Sabrina · on February 13, 2020 at 3:52 PM
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The marriage advice I get are things like, try not to put your husband in the middle of the issues you have with his parents or his family members. But I've always been raised that your spouse is your family your kids are your family. And your parents and siblings are now your extended family. With that being said I will continue to discuss things with him I just need for him to keep things to himself.
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