fmil hosting a bridal shower brunch- Need advice

This is only anecdotal evidence but when we have family brunch for mother's day and there's 10 or so people there are: bagels, pancakes and/or french toast, eggs, bacon, quiche, fruit, and usually dessert bars of some sort and there's rarely much food left (except bagels, there's always a lot of bagels because they throw in a free dozen when you buy a dozen). Maybe you could try to find some sort of food calculator online to show her that more food is probably necessary?

1 quiche or multiple quiches? I'd say one quiche serves 5-6 people if it's a typical pie pan size. So I'd let her know she needs to make 4 quiches total, which would also be cool because she can make different toppings & ingredients to accommodate different tastes. Can your fiance talk to her? Or your fiance's sister (if he has one)? If not, I'd just say you are super excited & want to bring a dish, then bring something else hearty. Something that won't rival her quiche, maybe a plate of mini sandwiches or a very large salad (Caesar with chicken might be a good idea) or a large french toast casserole.

Oh man, I think you need at least a few egg casseroles if the quiche isn't going to be enough. Plus, I don't think a brunch is a brunch without breakfast potatoes and bacon! I'm also partial to waffles, too. A waffle bar with fruit and whipped cream and other toppings would be ah-may-zing, in my opinion. Okay, now the healthy smoothie I had for breakfast is feeling a bit lacking!

As you said, b**ches love brunch!

We do brunch on Christmas morning for about 20, and we usually have: two egg casseroles (one meat and one veggie), bacon, sausage, two pans of company potato casserole, a French toast casserole, Bloody Marys and mimosas, fruit, and coffee cake. The casserole-heaviness may be because we're Midwestern!

Do you have a FSIL, a MOH or someone who could sneak in some of your ideas?

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FH's an only child and he comments to me all the time that he was the one who cooked growing up because his parents "weren't big on cooking"... which is made evident by the past thanksgivings and dinners we've had.

I just don't want to tell her what to do. She's told me "you won't have to do anything" and the kicker of it is... I'm always the host, I'm always cooking...I love it! but not this time... so I can't figure out if this whole thing is my anxiety or past experience consciousness kicking in saying... must help mama, must help mama.

Is there anyone in your family or bridal party that could maybe assist with the planning and give the advice? Or even FH? I agree that it is definitely not enough food, and mainly breakfast instead of “brunch”. I would definitely think you would need some type of meat or lunch option, pancakes or waffles and a dessert of some sort. What she is planning sounds nice, but more like something you would grab and go at like a continental breakfast at a hotel. Not very filling.

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Agreed! - Not very filling.

MOH says don't worry about it, we'll stop for ice cream after if you're still hungry but... people are travelling from far away for this and I don't want them to be unsatisfied.

FH and I will just give her a call and try and probe her plans a bit more. I'll have him make the suggestions because he know's her pitfalls better than I anyways. I just don't want to sound like a pushy/ ungrateful a-hole.

Honestly, I know it's hard to let go of the control (trust me, I'm type A too), but I think you should just sit back and let her do her thing. Trust that she has it all under control and concentrate on other things that you can actually control (planning for the wedding).

You could tell her you are so thankful for all her hard work and you would like to provide the mimosa bar for the shower. You can have fruit, juices, sorbet, and champagne. If people have some drinks they will feel satisfied no matter what. I still second a meat/potato/french toast dish. But this way your aren't stepping on her toes with food. You would also be surprised how little women eat when they are together in a group. It's like peer pressure or something. I however love brunch!

I think as long as the quantities of each item are such that everyone can have some of everything, it really isn’t too bad. (Obviously ONE quiche won’t cut it but it sounds like there may be several?) You mentioned your MOH here, is your bridal party involved at all? You could try to have them offer to bring some additional snacks (apps or desserts or maybe even mini bagels and spreads). I don’t think you need to go crazy for a small house party, and I don’t think even though it’s called “brunch” you need to stress having a wide array of breakfast AND lunch items or a huge selection. Just enough of each food for everyone to have some. Especially if there’s at least 2 types of muffin and at least 2 types of quiche, that’d make for a nice selection. But, quantity over selection is most important and as long as there’s enough servings of everything for everyone, I’d really try not to sweat it, and to relax and let go— you’re not the host and the hosting doesn’t reflect on you , just try to enjoy being a guest !

You could offer to help her adding in "I know serving brunch for this many people is a lot of food". That is insinuating there there could be more food than she thinks. BUT, brunch at a bridal shower is very different than brunch at a restaurant. Generally I don't walk into a shower thinking: time to eat!

All really good points. I think the punchline here is I just need to ask her what specifically she is making and ask how I can support. I’ve offered to bring supplies for a mimosa bar and Bloody Mary bar, plus if I make a cheesecake (her favorite) she should be ok. I just want to let her do her thing but also feed all the ladies that are coming. Thanks for the advice!

Ahah i am laughing at your comment about b's love brunch.. I AM ONE OF THOSE!

just straight up tell her you think or would like there to be more food because there are 18 brunch crazed girls coming.

with my bridal shower they had a ridiculous amount of food leftover and i had about 17 girls attend too. although to be honest i think it's because my ladies went crazy at my mimosa bar too ahah.

best of luck, a brunch bridal shower sounds really cool.

Edit: 2 quiches and a dozen muffins, yogurt and fruit for 18 people.... including 3 men. Just to clarify

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Not enough. even remotely. I'd ask her if she would be okay with allowing you or bridal party to bring in a dish or two as well. Just say everyone is so excited by her idea and want to contribute to the festivities!

Link to a food quantity estimator! You could also send her this just as a "look what I found to help me plan for the wedding! what a totally awesome tool! lets try it for your event too" thing. lol

Oh gosh, it sounds like she's trying to keep things simple, but is probably underestimating. I would totally ask the MOH, another bridesmaid, your mom or sister (if apllicable) to contact her and offer to provide another dish or two, desserts, or something. 18 people is a lot for one person...

It only needs to be a full meal , and not a snack, if people are traveling far, and the shower is at meal time. Many a shower has just coffee, with or without liquor or toppings, and cheesecake and brownies, or a similar pair of desserts. Provided she makes enough quiche for everyone to have a piece, yogurt and fruit and muffins will do. Snack, not a meal. That said, one of my showers was given by someone who thinks all women are always on diets,. Always vegetables , low cal yogurt dips, or salsas. and Mostly non party items. And coffee or tea. Since my sister was invited, I made 2 large trays of baklava, pistachio or hazelnut, and honey, heaven. And bought a 1.75 liter bottle of Picala coffee liqueur, less sweet than Kahlua, and cream, since this family friend only supplies CoffeeMate. Ever. And asked my sister to call and say she, my sister, felt bad she had not been able to help plan the shower, so would it be okay for her to bring a liqueur and a dessert? Every one of 60 pieces went, 19 guests and the hostess. Sometimes you just know something needs to happen in a non-insulting way.🤗