fmil hates the untraditional wedding!

Don't you dare buy a white dress. No pay, no say. Nobody gets to dictate what you wear on your wedding day. There are so many different styles of weddings, and you cannot please everyone.

Can't wait to see a picture of this black dress!!!

Tons of designers make black wedding dresses and veils! It’s not even uncommon, if it’s not your wedding she’ll probably see it at least once somewhere else. No one else has say over your dress, she can deal. It’s just a color.

Do what you want, especially because you're paying for it. If you don't you'll most likely regret it. Fmil is an adult that needs to realize it's not about her and get over it. This is not your problem, its hers.

I agree! Don't get a white dress (mine is lavender so I couldn't either). Try black, maybe other alternative colors unless black is your vision. Red? Gray/silver, gold? Or black. There's a reason why it's a classic.

And white dresses weren't even a thing until queen Victoria in the 1800s wore one to her wedding. Why? To show she was wealthy enough to afford a dress of such an impractical color, she would only wear it once. It's not a purity thing (originally).

You do you! I'm so happy I remained true to myself, even though FH and mom gave me a raised eyebrow at first.

Do what makes you happy! Someone will always complain or have a problem. One of my BMs wants to have a Halloween wedding too, so I don't think it's even that crazy or uncommon.

Please don’t compromise just to make her happy.

You better get that black dress!

Stop talking about the wedding to her. And buy that black dress if it’s what you want!

This is your wedding! Don't change it for anyone. As long as your guests are hosted well, there's nothing wrong with nontraditional!

There is nothing selfish about getting the dress that YOU want to wear on YOUR body that YOU are paying for! How she’s “disgusted” by something that doesn’t affect her in the slightest is beyond me. Unapologetically plan the wedding you and your FH want. Unfortunately you may just need to keep wedding talk to a minimum with her. I would also just let it go for a bit so she can come to terms with it t and the dust can settle, then maybe try having a gentle conversation with her about how this is your vision for your dream wedding and while she doesn’t need to love it, you hope she is able to accept and support yours and your FH’s wishes. Good luck, stand strong!

Thank you for your guys support! this drama with her was making me feel insecure about what i wanted. i will post a pic when i get the Black dress

I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't change your aesthetic plans to suit her. But I would definitely use this initial reaction as a guide to how you proceed. Be careful sharing more about your plans going forward. Present a unified front with your FS. And when opinions you don't like do come your way, practice letting them roll off you. Also be mindful that some compromises are worthwhile (for example, anything to do with guest comfort or adding traditions important to both sides of the family).

Tou do what is best for you, not her. Also, check out Zander by sottero and midgley. It's very black and it's very bridal.

Wear what you like and what makes you happy... because at the end of the day, it's your wedding. You should be able to look back on your photographs and remember one of the best days of your life, not want to retch because you're wearing a dress you hated. Stick with the black (I have seen some gorgeous ones!) If that's your vision.

The great thing is she doesn’t have to wear black!! Girl if you’ve been envisioning this for years then get a black dress!!! It’s your wedding and if your FH is supportive and she’s the only
one then oh well. You’re not going to please everyone it’s best to stick to your vision and what will make you comfortable and happy!

If its the wedding you and your FH want, then go for it! There's no reason she should be upset with what you are doing, its not a celebration for her. Please posts pics of the black dress! They're so elegant!

Don't do anything that makes your stomach churn!

If your FMIL is all about tradition, perhaps she'd like to know the history of the white wedding dress. [TL;DR: It's fairly recent & started as a way for the wealthy to show off, also has JACK-ALL to do with virginity.]

Getting her input on something might help. Readings? Song? Something that helps her feel like the wedding is rooted to tradition & being taken seriously (which I suspect isn't her impression right now).

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Thank you i will for sure look into it

So i found my dress, i couldnt find many black dresses in stores around me so i decided to order off of Etsy and its within my budget from a good star rating designer. i have ordered it but i dont have it yet anyway here is a picture of what i'm getting.....