fmil frustrations

If your FH is okay walking your mom down the aisle then I would let him do that. If FMIL has a problem with it then smile sweetly at her and say, "since you wanted your other sons to escort you, MY MOTHER requested that FH honor her by walking her down the aisle! We didn't think you would mind since you were so focused on Son 1 and Son 2 walking you!" and then move on about your day!

Also, if she wants to buy her twin terrors matching suits fine, but put your foot down and say that they CANNOT match the groomsmen or your FH!!

I would be really hurt by this too. My mom walked with my now husband down the aisle and i thought it was really special. I think you have two options, do what PP said and let her have it but let her know what will be happening and don’t let the brothers match the wedding party OR have a serious conversation about it with her and use this as a time to air it out and be honest with her. It will be a painful journey if you keep all this stuff bottled up forever.

Sigh... This sucks how she's acting and your mom and you are right. I would say do not say anything and your mom can walk your fh down. I wouldn't mention the plan at all. The offer was given to her and she chose his brothers. It's up to you two if you want them to walk in the procession. Are they his groomsmen? I would have him walk down with your mom and if she says one word the clap back will be that you two asked her and she declined so other arrangements were made. End of story.

Honestly, I wouldn't let someone tell whose going to walk down the aisle on my wedding, but if you are cool with it.
I think her sons matching the groomsmen is a step too far, they really not in the wedding party.

Honestly, it’s your day and she doesn’t get a day. Your FH needs to tell her the plan the two of you have come up with and if she doesn’t like it that’s too bad.

That is so rude, and I'm so sorry your FH has been hurt by his mother. My first thought is, why does FMIL need to be a part of the processional anyway? I guess if that's what you and FH wanted, then that's cool. But FMIL doesn't get to dictate how that happens. This is YOUR wedding. One of you needs to tell her htat this is what you want for your wedding, not some alternate scenario that she came up with.

If she doesn't want her son (the groom) to walk her down the aisle, tell her she can walk by herself, or just not be a part of the processional. She can just sit down like every other guest. End of discussion. Don't let rude and selfish people walk all over you!!

Traditionally, MOG or MOB are not part if the procession . They are the last to be seated. And whether they have a husband or not, if there are Ushers, they are escorted by the usher with husband walking behind, If no ushers, they walk down as a couple. And if no ushers, and any older women of the family, grandmother's or great aunts, are alone, they are walked down the aisle by chosen male family members, often brothers or uncles of B or G. And Last , the mothers are walked down, first MOG, with a family member escort if possible, MOG son's or brothers most often. Then MOB, with family member escort, usually her son's or brothers. And immediately after that, the actual procession music and procession start. It is rare for a groom to escort his mother. So what MOG is asking for, is traditional. That groom and groomsmen wait at the front or side, and 1-2 of her sons escort her. If they are not ushers for others, or in WP, they sit down beside her. If there are no ushers, then brothers, like a husband, are with MOG. And whoever walks her down, brothers would walk behind them. So Groom escorting her, then the two brothers ( if not with family of their own) would walk in one step behind them, as a husband would. There is no law saying a groom cannot escort his mom. But it is not at all traditional. And likely, MOG is asking for what she has seen done all her life. What any etiquette book would say is the usual thing. I don't understand why this is a problem? If groom wants, he will dance with his Mom. And you don't mention other ushers. Family member male escorts just wear suits, do not match GM my unless they are brothers or uncles who are also GM. And if all they do is escort mothers to seats, they are not considered wedding party. Just guests escorting older family members. Then taking their own seats ( Brothers beside mom unless they have families of their own and there is no room.) Don't worry about who Mom loves best type things. Petty jealousies just make a mess.

I would let FMIL know if she wants her 2 sons to walk her down then FH is going to walk your mother down. If she’s at all threatened by that she may say actually have FH walk me down and then it’s how you originally planned. It’s yours and FHs wedding. If she wants her 2 other sons to walk her down and not FH, then she got what she wants and should have no say in who FH walks down with.

View Quoted Comment Yes - you have given her the traditional choice of being escorted by a male relative or 2, in the absence of a husband. and seated. It is none of her business what MOB is doing, or the groom. If she asks, tell her, you made a choice to be escorted to your seat by your two sons. MOB is choosing her own escort. Seating traditionally is done before the procession starts. So no, MOG, you have not made the sons part of the wedding party.

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I agree with what Cyndy said!