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Stephanie
Super September 2021

fmil drama

Stephanie, on September 13, 2019 at 9:36 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 20
Me and my FMIL don't get along. This has been going on for months because of her actions toward me. The day before yesterday we booked our venue!! It was so exciting but the next day she found a way to take all my excitement away... She messaged me. It started out nice then she when into her little stabs that she is constantly throwing at me. She started saying things like " I never told shayne not to marry you because of this fight" and "I never stopped loving you only because I know MY son won't want me to" and my personal favorite "if your the thing that makes him happy" To most people these wouldn't upset them or think they weren't meant to be mean but you honestly don't know this women. They were all her way of trying to make me feel like I'm not good enough. My dilemma is should I mesaage her back saying how I feel or just leave it alone? Part of me thinks I need to say something because if I don't she won't stop but the other part of me want to just ignore her messages because even if I say something it's not going to stop her. uggh. Who else has difficult FMILS?????

20 Comments

Latest activity by Andrea, on September 14, 2019 at 8:55 AM
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    You need to have your FH say something to her. She either drops the snarky attitude with you or she's out of your lives. He should be sticking up for you, regardless of it's his mother. My FMIL and I have a pretty good relationship, but she started HUGE drama at the beginning of our engagement. FH went to her house and told her she needed to get it together or she wouldn't see him anymore. She straightened up.

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  • Karla
    Dedicated July 2021
    Karla ·
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    I would leave it alone and let your FH talk to her and if that doesn’t work I suggest both of you cut her off. I had to do the same with my FMIL. She’s a drug addict/alcoholic and is always using everyone for money and tries to guilt trip “you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me.” She’s wished death upon me and our future children and I honestly am done with her. I don’t want her in our life whatsoever.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would literally ignore her. If she messages, don't respond.

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  • L. Thomson
    Expert October 2020
    L. Thomson ·
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    I wouldn't respond. She might try to use it as ammunition against you or give her the opportunity to cause more drama.
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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    Thank you! I feel like he needs to sat something to her. I just wanna to enjoy our wedding planning and wedding for that matter. I have been nice so far but she is really starting to cause me to freak out.
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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    Thank you! I agree. I'm sorry you had trouble with your FMIL too.
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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    I have been doing that! She just don't give up. I have even went as far as blocking her, she will finds a way to message me.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Just keep ignoring her, she will get the hint. It may take awhile but just be consistent in not responding ever.

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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    Your probably right there! She would do anything to make it all about her, and to cause more drama.
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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    Thank you, Im trying my best, but your right!
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I wouldn’t respond and I would share then with your FH. It’s his mom let him deal with her.
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  • Erin
    VIP September 2023
    Erin ·
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    If she’s causing you that much stress and problems I would definitely have your FH talk to her. She’s his mother after all, so she’s more likely to be receptive of the conversation from him than from an “interloper”.
    My FMIL is great. My FFIL however, he gets on my nerves. I was wearing a pair of shorts and he made a comment about how they were too short and TOUCHED MY LEG where the shorts ended (which was just below my butt). He’s also an alcoholic but you’d never get him to admit it. Most recently, my FH and I were supposed to go over there to hang out while my FH helped him move some furniture, he texted my FH that morning and asked that only he go, because he had sensitive stuff to move (guns) and he didn’t want me around, and told my FH that if he wasn’t willing to do that he’d find someone else (and then proceed to complain about it for the rest of his life, about how his sons aren’t supportive of him and they never help him do anything) It hurt, but that was the end of it. Still working out what to do about him.
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  • Karla
    Dedicated July 2021
    Karla ·
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    Thank you, I hope your situation gets better as well!
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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
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    I do.. she isn't as difficult to me as she is to her own son. she idolizes her other two kids and treats him so poorly. and none of his family wants to get on her bad side so they all treat him differently when she is around - we and our children don't get invited to birthday dinners, parties, etc if she is invited. She loves to make people's lives a living hell if you don't agree with her on everything.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    Don't add fuel to the fire. If you ignore her, after a while she'll stop trying to get a response out of you because then she would only be talking to herself. Have your FH speak with her, and then let it go.

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    Kill her with kindness. Whether she meant those things or not, respond in a kind way accepting her somewhat apology and let it go. If she means it, give her the opportunity to build a relationship with you. But keep her at arms length. If you expect the worst and plan for it, things can only get better. Hopefully things do improve for you. My fiancé tells me all the time I’m his mothers new favorite child, and I wish everyone could have the same.
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  • Stephanie
    Super September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    Thanks ladies for all your advice! I really appreciate it all! I thinks what's best for me, is to try and leave things be. I just hope she takes the hint.
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  • Tisha
    Savvy August 2020
    Tisha ·
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    Honey your marry her son not her. I wouldn’t pay it another thought and move forward. Kill her with kindness I would let her do what within respectful boundaries and I would let my future know that his mom is being disrespectful, and keep it moving she will be ok it’s about YOU and HIM nobody else
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    I understand how you feel! My FH said something and now we are better. She needs to be put back into her place and I don’t think it’s you who needs to do it. Hubby needs to tell his mom to back off.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    My FMIL would send me extremely rude and distasteful messages and at first I would message her back, because I'm headstrong. But... after a while, it became laughable. I'd just stop responding. It's like she's talking to herself. Like ma'am, you're a nurse, a professional. Shouldn't you be tending to patients rather than bombarding me with ridiculous messages?? I told FH he needs to check his mom and tell her to stop being disrespectful and bugging me. There was one time that fmil was mad that my sis was coming into town and that she wasn't going to be able to come over and do whatever it is that she wanted to. Had the audacity to say "I guess I'm not a priority in your life, and that your sister is more important to you." Like who actually says that? Only a narcissist. I couldn't wrap my head around why she thought she'd be more of a priority over my best friend, my sis? It's crazy. And then started talking about me and FH's relationship, making up lies, all through text while I'm trying to sit in class, studying for a test (this was 3 years ago when I was in college). It's truly insane. So... at that moment I realized that her behavior is not my responsibility to check. It's my fiance. That's his mother. It's better coming from him than me. Your FMIL sounds a bit toxic, conceited and slightly controlling. Making snide remarks coming from a dark place, but she's trying to paint this fake picture of being kind and caring. Your fiance needs to nip this in the bud, once and for all, or she's going to continue this and perhaps up the ante. I'm wishing you the bestSmiley heart

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