fmil bought her dress for the wedding

Your feelings are justified. Just remember that everyone will know who the bride is! Nobody will be able to outshine you on your big day. You can be a little annoyed but try not to dwell on it

At the end of the day, if her dress is inappropriate, it is her who will look bad and not you. You will slay!

I am very sorry you have to deal with that. For a casual backyard party that dress is just not a good choice. Does your fh know? Maybe he can talk to her on your behalf if it really bothers you?

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She showed it to both of us at the same time. He agrees that it is a bit much for he formality of our wedding and said that he thinks it looks like a prom dress, but doesn't care what she wears as long as she likes it. I'm sure I'll get over it by the time the wedding comes around, but regardless she spent a small fortune on this dress and it wouldn't be fair to ask her not to wear it.

View Quoted Comment If you are close to her, or don’t mind to be direct, say what you feel. She still have time to find another dress, and maybe dress shop together with you.


If anyhow she decided to wear her dress, then in your position, I would only have a few of her pictures taken together with me. I only have a couple pictures just with dh. The rest she is in it. I loath them, and I deeply regret not to say anything.

That dress will look pretty ridiculous... but remember it’s her that will look silly, not you. Everyone is going to be focused on the bride anyway in hindsight it’ll probably just be kinda funny

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I agree with this. I know you said you don't plan on saying anything, which is definitely the right strategy, but I hope you can turn your disappointment to bemusement. For your own sake.

When is the wedding, will it be warm? You could have someone else mention to her it might be too warm for the time of year.


Honestly that would piss me off and I’d find a way to mention it. Either through someone else, or directly. Something like: “Does it come across a little white to you?”

Not only does it look a little bridal... it seems to be a bit to "fancy" for the style of wedding you described you are having. Has your fiance said anything about his/her opinion of the dress?

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I wholeheartedly agree. I mentioned to him that it seems a bit too formal, and all he said was that he agrees it probably is and that he thinks it looks a bit like a prom dress, but that "you can't be overdressed for a wedding" and so long as she likes the dress she can wear whatever she wants to.

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Well, I guess there is not a ton you can do or say then? I will say this though, I'm sure most guests at your wedding will feel the same way "too bridal and too fancy!". So try not to let it bother you and enjoy your day!

That dress seems like a bit much for the kind of wedding you are having but it will just make her look bad not you. Nobody will mistake her for the bride so don’t let this stress you.

You should suggest to her she should get it shortened since it's a farm/casual wedding. Say something like, "Just a suggestion, you should get it shortened so it doesn't drag in the mud/grass since we're having a barnyard theme. I'd hate for you to ruin it."

Personally, if you're getting married in September, I find the color to be very offseason. Does it look different in person?

Wow...I'd have to have that conversation! Especially if the color is so close to white, man yeah I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. Like why would she think that was ok...I honestly think you should let her know how you feel. If everyone is pretty causal, you will stand out but so will she, AND she has a split 🤦🏾‍♀️ You'll be thinking about it every time you see her in that dress on your day! I hope this works out for you because that's pretty messed up in my opinion.

I'm sorry she did that. I can tell it's just not something she was really thinking about, but just looking for a dress that she liked and was pretty. Some people just forget about the occasion and other factors and just find what they like. If it does bother you that much, then talk with her about it, ask her in a kind gentle way about what she was thinking when she picked it out.

The MIL's are truly showing out towards us aren't they. This was very inconsiderate of her. While it is not okay don't let it get you down. Your future husband and everyone else will be focused on just how beautiful YOU look. You can't and won't be upstaged by anyone including MIL.

I am so sorry, but more worried about the marriage than the woman. This woman will try to be nothing but aggravation. Make certain your fiance has your back or she will be trying to take over. Rule 1 -- she does not get a key to your house. Rule 2, DH must absolutely positively agree that he shares NO information or private information with her without your explicit permission. Rule 3, she does not get to demand what you name kids etc.

So im in a very similar situation. Mine got a dress the exact color of my moms and the same style as mine. she refused to get a different one even after i joked “oh haha guess I’ll have to get a different dress” ... i let it go. if your FMIL wears that she will look like a fool so let her make a fool of herself. no one outdoes the bride anyway