Flower Girls Mother Unhappy because i purchased Flower Girl Dress

It sounds like she was just excited to be a part of something. Especially if this was a text conversation, I wouldn't assume she's in distress at all, probably just disappointed. I would offer up another way for her to be involved, maybe the shoes/hair for the flower girl, or something creative for the bridal shower. To get my future sister in laws neices involved in her wedding, that's what we did, just had them help with picking photos of the couple for a game or with easy decorating. The were ecstatic. Figure out if she's disappointed because SHE wants the involvement, or because your young cousin wants to be involved, and dish out a task accordingly.

Water under the bridge now. Many people would be happy you bought it, so parents did not have to. But in usual etiquette, it is never considered good manners to bypass the parent(s) of a young child. You do not select clothes or anything else without first getting parent's permission. You may decide what type , color and style, as with bridesmaids. But surprising her would be like surprising all your bridesmaids with already bought dresses. Yes, you meant to be generous. Yes, you were going to choose color and style anyway. But you never choose clothing for an adult without letting them know, intending it to be worn on a specific occasion. Adults choose their own clothes. And you never by-pass the adult representing a child. This is standard etiquette, not just for weddings. If you give clothes as a birthday gift, they are not required to ever wear them. That is okay. But you never choose clothes for adults for any occasion, where it is an expectation they are going to show up wearing them.

Wait until she goes shopping on her own. She will quickly find out that a flower girl dress that your niece may only wear once will cost her up to $200. The one you got was a steal!

Hopefully, your auntie will come around. You were only being nice and courteous, and got a steal on a dress!! It's not like you're trying to step on her toes. Maybe see if your aunt will purchase another dress? Give the dress that you bought and maybe say your cousin can wear it to another event, and then give your aunt the opportunity to buy a dress that she wants her daughter to wear? Hopefully everything works out.