Flower girl?

It's definitely not mandatory to have a flower girl. We won't be having a flower girl or ring bearer but I do agree that it would be an adorable gesture. Don't feel obligated to do it though. I'm sure it's not something stuck on their mind.

Daughter had two FGs and 2 RBs. She REALLY wanted to just have one FG, but the kids were all siblings and she felt like there would be too much drama with their mom if she only asked the 8 yr old. Honestly? The kids and their mom were the only primary source of any stress for daughter with the entire wedding. I'd think a lot about the little girl's temperament/maturity etc., and then only ask her if those issues make sense and it means a LOT to you to have her in your wedding. If she's easy (and her mom will be easy to deal with), and you really want her, then go for it. If it's kind of an obligation -- "Oh, that's so cute, I was in her mom's wedding..." and/or the child or mom are high maintenance, I'd skip it. (The three children D would not have asked were 4, 6, & 10 yrs old, and they: crawled and climbed over and under furniture at the venue both at the rehearsal and the wedding; the 4yr old shrieked LOUDLY throughout the RD for no reason except to get attention; the 10 yr old slugged the 6 yr old -- hard -- while standing right in front of the B & FOB just before they were to walk down the aisle; etc. And, the mom was an entire set of bad behaviors & stress all on her own....) Think it through!

We are planning on having my FW's niece be our flower girl but like the above post mentioned I made sure we talked about if closer to time she isn't acting appropriately or we aren't sure if she will be able to do it then we will just skip it and it won't be that big of a deal (she will be 4 at the time of the wedding).

This is something you can wait until 3-4 months out to decide. The constant cancellations and redoing of schedules has been hard on kids in this age group. Nobody has been "keeping promises" and what will upset the fg will be the last thing on everyone's mind if dates, places, and major things must be adjusted in 8 months. Wait till spring. And if you decide earlier, but do not tell her, do not buy her clothes before 3 months out. Preferably 6 weeks. Two brides who chose my kids bought ones as a surprise, 4-5 months. Not returnable when it turned our at 3 months for my twins, they had completely outgrown them. Later, seeing something cute the bride broke our agreement and bought new sets at just 12 weeks. I bought their 3rd set around 2 weeks out. They still fit for the wedding 2 weeks later. Many kids grow in spurts. 3 months can be several inches. So with no need for advance purchase of clothes, this decision can be deferred. And you don't want to be in the position of later telling aunt, we decided our dog is a better choice than your child.

We're having a flower girl (she'll be almost 5 during our wedding) and a ring bearer (he'll be almost 6). I think it's a cute gesture but not needed. Our flower girl is FH's cousin and our ring bearer is my cousin's son. The girl (Jorie) and I are close and she loves to dress up as a princess (which is perfect) and the boy (Konnar) thinks my FH is awesome. So it's cute and shows the connection between our two families. So I think your idea of continuing on using your cousin is adorable. Many chose to have a flower girl just to have one but since you have an adorable reason I think it would be perfect! Of course, at the end of the day, it's your choice.

They're cute but not mandatory. We don't know anyone in that age range and never seen a flowergirl in person at any wedding we've attended.

You don't have to have a flower girl. We had an adult only wedding so we decided to nix the flower girl and ring bearer. If I had to do it over again, I would do the exact same thing.

I don't think flower girls are necessary for a wedding, but if you have a special relationship with them and want them to be part of the big day, do it!! I have 2 young cousins who were super thrilled when I asked them to be my flower girls and sometimes they facetime me and try on their flower girl dresses for fun. (I'm the first cousin on both sides of their families that's getting married so it's a big deal for them.)

I did not have a flower girl or ring bearer. Nobody missed them.

View Quoted Comment I think I am kind of feeling the obligation. Hence why I hadn’t even considered it until I saw an article about flower girls. Thanks for the advice!

View Quoted Comment I’m not super worried about her behavior or my aunt’s. My sister (MOH) would be able to help supervise her during the ceremony and Lucy absolutely adores her. We wouldn’t have any other kids in our wedding though, mostly because neither FH or I are super psyched about having kids there in the first place. This was super helpful, thank you!!

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. It's 100% what you and your FH want. I love the idea of you continuing the tradition. My husband and I did not have a flower girl or ring bearer at our wedding. It wasn't for any real reason, we just didn't really think about it and we didn't have many children at our wedding. With the exception of my niece (who had just turned 1), the other youngest person we had at our wedding was 15.

View Quoted Comment That’s something I hadn’t thought about. It may be something I just discuss with my aunt until closer to time and then make a decision. Thanks for sharing!!

View Quoted Comment The last sentence made me giggle as our dog is actually going to be in our wedding. Brought up a point I hadn’t even thought about- no clue how she would do with our pup. They have a couple so I think she would probably do okay? Thank you so much for the advice!!

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Either way even if she doesn't walk down the isle and thrown flower petals she will still dress up and take pictures with us so it will still be fun for all involved! We are having a kid friendly wedding though and there will be a decent amount of kids so that does help make the decision easier for us.

View Quoted Comment Lol my cousin is certainly a fan of dressing up!! I think it would definitely be sweet I just don’t know if I’ll feel like I’m missing out on anything if we choose not to have her which is why I’m hesitant. Thanks for sharing!

View Quoted Comment I’m the complete opposite lol I was a flower girl in 6 weddings before the age of 10, and the most recent weddings I’ve been to (including FH’s sister’s) had a flower girl. I can only remember one without and it was tiny. I think it could be a regional thing. Thanks for sharing!

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Do it because you want to and it's important to you, NOT because of obligation.... I agree with pps about also thinking through the implications. Are you planning on inviting children to your wedding? Would this child be invited to your wedding even if she weren't in it? If Covid-restrictions exist at the time of your wedding and you have to reduce your guest list, would you want this child in the limited number of guests (would she otherwise "make the cut")? If you don't answer "yes" to those and similar questions, don't ask her. I also agree that even if you think you do want to ask her, I'd wait until much closer to your date. Couples have had to make SO many adjustments this year, that I'd let a relatively small decision like this one wait until you have a better sense of what your wedding will look like next year given Covid, etc. Once you ask her and/or her mom, things get more complicated and it will be hard to rescind the invitation. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment FH and I have definitely considered an adult only wedding which is actually part of why I’m hesitant about a FG. Thanks for the advice!!

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No problem. I'm sure whichever you choose it'll still be a great day.