Looking for opinions. My maid of honors daughter is my flower girl. I’m getting married in September and my flower girl has her dress already. My maid of honor asked if my flower girl can use her dress as her Easter dress this year. I told her no that I would rather she not, but appreciate her asking. I personally want the dress to first be seen at my wedding instead of being seen first in Easter pictures. I kinda think of it as if would my bridesmaids wear there dresses before my wedding, no? Plus I don’t want to have to worry about if the dress gets dirty or ruined from being used prior. I didn’t pay for this dress so I feel guilty saying no that I would rather she’d wait to use it until my wedding day. Any thoughts, advice, guidance is all greatly appreciated.
I would let her wear it for Easter. Any dress you have now has a pretty fair chance of not fitting at all by fall. In that case she will get at least one wearing. meanwhile, there is nothing that says Bridesmaid dresses, or bridal gowns, must be brand new, or worn gor the first time, at a wedding. Dresses are passed from woman to woman or girl to girl all the time, and a lot of people buy their gowns second hand. As a mom of 5 who has on 3 occasions had brides buy my kids flower girl/ ring b. 6 months or more before the wedding in spite of being told, please don't, I have then had to go out and outfit them again when they grew too much for wedding time. Pretty irritating knowing they never wore $100 of little suit or dress and shoes and such, just purchased and disposed of unworn. An Easter dress is usually worn for church and part of a day, then off for play time. Since the family purchased the clothes, I think your only standing here is to say, as long it is cleaned and undamaged, it is fine. The child is not being filmed on stage at one awards ceremony, then at another, where anyone would know or care of it were the first wearing. So I do not see why you jave an issue about her wearing it.
I don't think you should feel guilty! She asked, you responded politely with your opinion. Depending on the material, flower girl/Easter dresses don't look the same after being washed as it does when it's new, so I wouldn't want to risk it.
I disagree... if she can avoid buying a second dress for a growing child, why not? Especially if your primary reason is wanting them seen first at your wedding. Of everyone... no one is paying attention to the flower girl dress. Little girls dresses all look pretty similar. This seems unfair.
I would have let her. I'd be stoked if anyone in my bp was actually able to get more than one wear out of it.
I would have let her wear it. Nobody will care or probably even notice that she's also wearing it for the wedding. If someone can get 2 uses put of these expensive and niche event dresses, more power to them.
Also several of my BMs are wearing dresses they already own, same for FH's groomsmen
I wouldn’t have a problem with the flower girl wearing the dress for Easter. I’d be happy that she would get more use out of it. I don’t think anyone will notice or care what the flower girl is wearing they will just notice how cute she is. But with all that sad I understand your POV. Your friend asked and you gave your honest opinion.
We aren't having a flower girl, but if we were I wouldn't have any issue with letting her wear the dress. Unless it is very unusual or distinctive, no one will remember it.
Before covid, when proms were a thing, my FSIL mentioned she might want to wear her BM dress to prom, which was before my wedding. I wouldn't have had a problem with that either. No one is paying that much attention.
Eh, I wouldn't have a problem with them wearing the dresses for Easter, if someone can get more than one use out of a wedding party outfit then more power to them imo. I literally cannot remember what any of the flower girls' dresses have looked like at any of the weddings I've attended 🤷🏼♀️ I get what you're saying about trying to keep the dresses from getting dirty though
JM Sunshine ·
I think it would be great for her to be able to wear her dress more than once, especially if you didn't pay for it. I think it's quite early, especially for as quickly as kids grow, to already have a dress for the wedding.
I would have let her wear it. As a mom, I know I only have so much time that my kids will actually fit into clothes so I use them as much as I possibly can. I don’t know how old your flower girl is but I’m actually surprised she already purchased the dress when you’re still 6 months out. My daughter is 8, and I still don’t buy her new season clothes until we’re in the season because I never know what size she’s going to be.
I wouldn't love the idea, but I see other's perspective that she will likely not fit this dress by September anyway! Different scenario -- but my bridesmaids are wearing all different, formal, evening gowns for my wedding. A few of them have mentioned wearing them again for other formal outings, but that would be after the wedding. I wouldn't necessarily love it if they were to wear their dress somewhere before the wedding, but it wouldn't be a huge deal nor worth the fight.
I don't think anyone will see your wedding pictures and think "No she didn't wear that'd dress for Easter and try to fool us by wearing it again - so tacky!" They likely won't realize it's the same dress, honestly. I wouldn't even worry about it!
I highly doubt anyone will notice that your flower girl is wearing the same dress for Easter and your wedding. It's a little girl in a pretty dress. I think it's a little silly to not "let" her wear it.
Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for your guidance. I did message my maid of honor last night. I told her that I’ve been thinking about it and that it would be okay if she wore the dress for Easter. We will just put a special spin on the dress for the wedding day by adding a ribbon to it. I just get nervous because it’s such a light color dress, and right now it’s a little big so it graces is the floor so I’m worried about it getting dirty or chocolate or grass stains. I realize have to let it out of my hands, and let it be. I definitely do want the dress to get used more than once. I just didn’t think of it being used prior to the wedding. But then realizing after the wedding it may not fit. I listened what you all said, and I appreciate the feed back. Thank you all
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I give you major props for taking our comments in stride and taking them into account!
One suggestion I forgot to make in my original post - since your friend asked you, I think it would be totally reasonable to tell her you're okay with her daughter wearing the dress as long as it stays clean and/or your friend is willing to have it cleaned if it gets dirty. I think that's completely fair.