Flower Girl Dress Confusion

How much is the dress you like? What did you say when they originally showed you the dress they already own?

How much is the dress you prefer? If it is not that much, offer to pay for it without saying the dress they own is not right for your wedding. If pressed tell her the dress does not match anything else. If she still presses (and some mom's will press!) reconsider her daughter as flower girl. You don't need the headache.

To avoid the headache, I would offer to pay for the dress if it's not too much, or pass on them as the flower girl if they're insistent on not buying a new one.

I was feeling bad about asking people to pay for the flower girl dresses - because we’re having a destination wedding and to be there is already a major expense - so I went shopping myself. I found adorable ones at target for about $25 and solved the issue.
if you can afford it offer to purchase the dress yourself, now it’s a good time to find nice ones at regular stores because of Easter!

I bought my niece's flower girl dress on Amazon for like $25. I don't think you're obligated to buy hers, but if you suspect finances are why she doesn't want to buy a new one, you can find an inexpensive one like that and either buy it yourself or ask her to get it. Everyone else in the bridal party is expected to pay for attire for the day, I don't see why the kids should be any different.

Did she even say she doesn't want to buy one, or is everyone reading way too much into the situation? If all she said was, we already have this dress, what do you think? It's perfectly appropriate to say that the dress doesn't really fit, so your prefer she get a different one. Of course it makes sense if they already own a dress to at least ask if you like it, that saves both you and them the trouble of picking one out and buying it if you do like it. That doesn't mean they would be opposed to buying a new one.

I would offer to pay for it.

Or I would talk to the mother and express you concern of how it doesn't match your theme. Express that you found one that goes with your theme. Depending on how much express that you be willing to pay for it. Honestly you can go a whole bunch of different ways with it.

Sorry I hit reply button before I was finish. Too tired.