Flower girl dress complications

You wouldn't be telling her she can't be in the wedding. The child's mother would be CHOOSING that her daughter not be in the wedding if Mom insists on choosing the dress. This is absurd.

I have showed her multiple dresses & styles. She doesn’t like ONE of those dresses.

I would give it time.... you have a lot of time before your wedding. We are waiting till the last minute because little kids grow like weeds... put your foot down and be firm about your want, but also accept the results of doing so...

She should let you pick out the dresses. It will look ridiculous if they don't match or be very similar. My Fg's mom found her dress at a resale fair for like $15, sent me a picture and I approved. It was not high on priority list, but there was only 1 not 2.

Stop showing her dresses and just pick one YOU like.

If she doesn't want her kid to wear it, then she's out of the BP

I would stop showing her dress styles. She doesn't have to like them. Show her the style you want, tell her that's what the flower girls will be wearing, and if she throws a tantrum, her daughter doesn't have to be a flower girl, and if the daughter gets upset, it isn't on you, it's on her mom.

ETA: @QueSeraSera, great minds think alike

Choose the dresses you want and if they don't buy them don't let them walk in the wedding. Do not give in to her! This is your day! I would find different flower girls if they can't listen.

Another reason why I'm so glad our wedding was age 21 and up.

I think it is the bride's choice. OTOH, when one of my male cousins got married, she picked one flower girl dress that was far more flattering to her niece than to my cousin's niece. Her niece was 2 YO, his niece was 5 and tall. The dress was basically a dress built for a toddler.

It really doesn't matter. Little girls look dreamy no matter what you put on them and the two girls do not have to match. Don't make a big deal. However, if you must have a particular dress, let them wear that dress to your ceremony and the other dress you buy to change out for the reception. You take more photos after the ceremony with your bridal party so I think you'll feel better. I do think it's a waste to get two dresses, but this seems the only alternative if you and the little girl's family to be happy. Don't mention to them what you are doing before hand. Just get one of the BM's to take her to the rest room before everyone is called into the reception room and get her changed.

Your FSIL sounds like a real treat... personally, I would not give into her.