First look

What do you want to do? Your photographer works for you. If you don’t want to do a first look, don’t do a first look. If you don’t want to have family see you beforehand, hold your ground.

We’re doing a private first look and then photos with our families before the ceremony. We originally didn’t want to, but our wedding planner said that it’s so much better getting all the photos out of the way so we can enjoy our cocktail hour with our guests. Which totally makes sense to me. We are actually so excited about doing a first look to have that private moment together before all the craziness.

I don’t think a first look is required but in my experience it didn’t make walking down the aisle any less special. I would at least do wedding party pictures beforehand and then a big group shot, family pictures, and some couple pictures during cocktail hour.

You tell her you don't want that. I am sure you paid a good penny for your photographer. She is working for you. She needs to make you happy not do what she wants to do.

Because of the time the ceremony is and time of year it gets dark earlier in the winter so majority of the pictures most likely will have to be done before hand. I think i May be okay with a private first look, Thanks for the advice guys !

Do what you want, this is your wedding, and you are paying this professional to do what you want. Period. Don't let them pressure you into changing up the way you want it to go.

Stand your ground. YOU are hiring the photographer, it is YOUR day! I also had a photographer I talked to (not the one I booked) who was adamant about us doing a first look.

Tell the photographer “No” you don’t want to do it. It’s just a suggestion and not mandatory

We actually walked away from a photographer because he was being soooo pushy about a first look and it is absolutely not an option for us. We are going to do individual photos, photos with the bridal party, and immediate family before the ceremony and the rest during cocktail hour. Our photographer has no doubt we'll be able to get through everything we want with that layout. If you don't want a first look, don't do on. If your photographer refuses to listen, find one that will.

I think that’s the set up we’re going to do also, I just wish there was a way family and stuff wouldn’t see me until when I walk down the aisle but with it getting dark early in the winter I’m most likely going to have to do it before the ceremony as well

Our photographer suggested us doing the first look even though we really didn’t want it. He suggested that we ask our families to show up a half hour or hour after the scheduled time FH and I see each other that way it’s not an awkward moment where everyone is seeing the reactions and it’s a surprise to our families when they see us as well.

That’s a really good idea thank you so much!

I agree with you!!! We are doing a first touch.i don't want him to see me until I walk down the aisle

Just straight up tell your photographer that you don't want a first look. My photographer has been trying to convince me to do a first look with FH since we booked him (Nov 2017 for Sept 2019 wedding) and I have told him no ever single time. I told him we will be doing all individual pictures before ceremony so that after ceremony only group photos will need to be taken to cut down on time.

This is your wedding so it is 100% your decision! Don't let your photogorapher tell you how to run your day!

Well, ultimately it *is* up to you no matter what. However, I highly recommend a first look. It was my absolute favorite part of my wedding day! There are a few good reasons to have a first look too...

To have a first look or not to have a first look? Many couples find themselves asking this question. There is usually one main reason couples don't want to have a first look or think they shouldn't have a first look: Tradition. Couples that don't want to have a first look usually think they shouldn't see each other on their wedding day before the eagerly anticipated moment of walking down the aisle. They think their partner's reaction will be "bigger" or more genuine seeing them walking down the aisle. The opposite is actually true, and this is the first reason to have a first look!

1. More Genuine Reaction

For some reason, people assume that experiencing a monumental moment in front of a bunch of people (even if it is family and friends) will lead someone to display a perfect, fairytale-like, teary-eyed reaction at the alter. I hate to burst your bubble, but this isn't always the case. In fact, many people get too nervous in front of a lot of people to really enjoy the moment and, in turn, their reactions in front of others won't reflect their true feelings of excitement for their partners in that moment. When it's just the couple off on their own... the bride slowly walking towards her groom... the anticipation of seeing each other building... the moment they lock eyes and embrace... they forget anyone else is even around and THAT is when life feels like a fairytale and some happy tears might be shared! These few special minutes together might just turn out to be your favorite moment and memory of the day!

2. Ease Nerves

You've likely spent most of the morning or afternoon apart... finishing up last minute details... putting on make up... perfecting the hair... getting into the gown... adjusting the tie and cuff links... As the anticipation of finally seeing each other all dressed up after a few hours apart builds, the nerves might set in as the realization that such a huge, life-changing commitment (which will be in front of lots of family and friends) lies just moments ahead of you! You're excited, but you can't help being nervous, as well. Having a few minutes alone with your bride or groom before the ceremony is a great way to ease the tension, settle nerves, and be left with only excitement before walking down the aisle!

3. Only Intimate Moment of the Day

The wedding day is all about celebrating the happy newlyweds! You might not realize it beforehand, but during almost every moment of the day, you'll find yourself surrounded by friends and family. Your loved ones will want to congratulate you and talk with you and take pictures with you. This is all very sweet and celebratory; however, it doesn't leave the couple with much alone time. Having a first look ensures the couple is able to sneak away and have a moment to themselves to soak in the special day!

4. More Time For Photos Earlier

If you decide to have a first look, you can get more of the formal photos done earlier in the day, rather than having to wait until after the ceremony. If the couple is willing to see each other beforehand, they can take couples photos and bridal party photos earlier, and even take some family portraits earlier too (if some of the family members have arrived early).

5. Get Back to Celebrating Sooner

With more photos taken earlier in the day, you're left with less photos to be taken after the ceremony, and that means you can enjoy cocktail hour with your loved ones and get back to celebrating at the reception sooner!

I highly recommend a "first look" for couples getting married! Seeing each other during a "first look" before the ceremony is a very special and intimate moment shared with just the couple, and it can help ease some nerves before the ceremony. I promise... Doing a "first look" does not make the walk down the aisle any less special! Additionally, doing a "first look" will also allow for taking more photos before the ceremony, so there are less photos to take after the ceremony, and you can get back to celebrating more quickly!

I wanted to do the first look with my FH so that we could share that special moment together...the more I thought about it and talked to him we aren't doing one. I will be doing one with my dad though

At the end of the day the final decision is up to you. the photographer works for you, not the other way around. that being said, if your main concern is the feeling when you walk in not being so special, i don't think that would happen. first look or not, that moment is going to be very emotional for everyone. personally we will be doing a first look. i wanted a moment for us before everything started and all the craziness happens. once you walk down the aisle everything officially starts and is going to to go so fast. i would weigh out your options. you might find that having those moments before everything starts could be nice.