First Dance

I have never seen anyone join in with the bride and groom on their first dance. Thats just silly. I dont think it would offend your mom if you just let her know that you would rather just dance alone with your husband. Plus, your planner will defend you every step of the way! Your DJ should announce in someway that you will be having your first dance alone in a polite way.

I would just tel your mom that you want the first dance to be you guys alone as that is a moment you want to share alone with him, and yes your planner can back you up, make sure your mc and dj knows that its only you two on the dance floor for the first dance, maybe comprimise and after all the first dance, father daughter, mother son, invite all the guests on the dance floor for a spin with you guys

Thanks - I have never seen it done before either, but she really was genuinely suprised by my reaction so I thought maybe I was wrong. I had no trouble telling her that I wanted to dance alone, but my fear is that if she thinks it is done this way, my other relatives will too. We are having a very untraditional wedding and the first dance is one of the only things I have decided to keep. In a way, I'm glad she mentioned it now so I can do something about it. We're actually taking dance lessons and everything so I would be really upset if it just happened. I guess I'll talk to my planner about it and see if she can announce that it's our dance and guests are free dance after we are finished - we're not having a dj or parent dances.

I've HEARD of people joining in at the 2nd half like the bridal party but never SEEN it myself. I always am amused when people come up w/these ideas that you have never heard of and act like it is so NORMAL and thatz how everyone does it. I would assume most people know to stay off the dance floor at your first dance unless specifically invited

It's happening a lot and is really my only source of stress for the wedding. We are keeping things simple and untraditional - non religious, no "giving away", not even a traditional cake. It's what we want - a simple ceremony and a dinner party. In the beginning, everyone tells you that it's your day and that you should plan it exactly how you want it and then they change their tune somewhere through the process. I actually had a coworker say, "oh no" when I told her we were having a variety of regular cakes instead of a big wedding cake. Like she was disapointed. lol. Cake is cake to me.

I don't think I would worry about making an announcement asking people not to join in. Traditionally, the first dance is meant solely for the bride and groom. It's become popular to have the bridal party or even guests join in part way through the song, but it's not necessarily 'the norm'. Even if a guest is under the same impression as your mother, they're going to wait for a cue from the DJ to come and join you. If they never get a cue, they'll take the hint. No need to be premptive about it. Good luck!

My family is big on asking the guests to join in. Every family wedding I've been to has done this, always with a cue from the DJ. Friends' weddings, however, have not. No cue from the DJ and no one joined in. I don't think people will join in if they're not asked/prompted. It can go either way, but without being told, I don't think anyone will jump in to ruin your moment.

I wouldnt worry about making an announcement. you cam explain to your mom that it is just fo rte two of you and you would prefer people not to join in. once you have done the other dances then you can have anotehr slow song where everyone can jump in

People will not join unless you ask them to.

its known that your first dance is for yuo guys and not the guests.

It's really up to the two of you. It's your wedding. And even though you may want to make everyone happy...it will never happen. The one time I have seen the guest get involved was when the couple started dancing their first dance, the DJ called for everyone to form a cirlce around them and blow bubbles. That way the guest got involved and it looked great for pictures. But again, you only get this day once, so make it the best for you.

I agree with the above comments! People aren't going to jump up and run to the dance floor during your first dance- unless you invite them to! I had someone ask me if I am going to invite all the Fathers and Daughters to join in during my Father/Daughter dance... my response was h*** no! That's my dance for me and my dad. So I get where you are coming from. I also am not having a wedding cake btw and I know people think its freaky but I'm not a fan of the whole big ordeal!!!

Actually, a lot of couples have the guests join them during the first dance. To be honest, I think a lot of them are uncomfortable with dancing for 4 minutes while everyone in the room stares at them. Four minutes can seem like an eternity when all eyes are on you, especially if you're not a regular dancer. Others will have just the members of the bridal party join them during the first dance.

Often guests will join in during the parent dance, so this might be an alternative if she wants to have the guests join in during a "special" dance.

As others have said, I wouldn't worry about folks coming up uninvited...they'll stay put unless specifically asked up.

Very often for the last dance (if it's a slow song), we'll have everyone form a big circle around the edge of the dance floor, with the newlyweds in the middle, allowing everyone to share the last song of the evening.