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Gen
Champion June 2019

First dance when i hate being the center of attention

Gen, on July 12, 2018 at 4:15 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 18
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I really love the idea of the first dance in theory, and my FH is VERY excited about it, so it’s definitely not something we can just cut out.

The only issue is I honestly get so anxious and awkward being the center of attention, and I feel like the dance is different from the ceremony, since at the ceremony there will be a script to follow and I’ll know exactly what to do, but I’m super awkward at dancing as is and I can’t imagine what it’ll be like with 100 people staring at me! I actually considered taking dance lessons to increase my confidence about it, but I can’t afford to do that financially.

Anyone else anxious about this and/or have any suggestions on how to handle it?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on January 23, 2021 at 7:43 PM
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    I was in a similar position in that my husband was really looking forward to it but I was nervous about all the attention. It ended up being perfect. I put my arms around his neck, looked into his eyes and swayed to the music. I noticed ZERO people around us. Afterwards I saw that many people were standing to take pictures but I just didn't notice. I did tell him at the beginning of the song that I was nervous, and he said to just look at him. It was a very sweet moment and I'm glad we did it.

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Aw, reading that put a smile on my face. I’m so glad it worked out well. Thank you.
    • Reply
  • ABC
    Dedicated September 2018
    ABC ·
    • Flag
    Yes, I’m very anxious as well because both my FH and I are very awkward people. When we went through our engaged couples seminar for pre cana, the last hour was ballroom dancing. It was really fun to go through, but they had us do some fancy footwork that we just couldn’t handle. Additionally, my dress is a big ball gown and which adds in more stuff that could go wrong. I plan on setting aside some time to practice with FH so we know exactly what we will be doing. If its just swaying, any dips, any twirls, etc. If we know ahead of time, I feel it’ll be less awkward.
    • Reply
  • FutureMrsCha
    Dedicated October 2018
    FutureMrsCha ·
    • Flag
    You tube has a bunch of videos that can teach you some basic steps! Maybe play the song you will dance to and you two can practice in your living room. That's what we are doing.
    • Reply
  • Selia
    Super October 2024
    Selia ·
    • Flag

    Genevieve--I read the CUTEST idea the other day for first dance ideas when you don't want to be the center of attention! A member suggested having all the married couples come onto the dance floor. Then, about halfway through the song, you have the DJ/Band/MC announce that all couples married less than a day should leave the dance floor (so you actually end up being the first one's to exit). Then they would keep counting back starting at a month, then a year, 5 years, etc. The periods of time are up to the announcer, but it's a really cute way to take the attention off of you and then the couple married the longest gets celebrated as well! Usually someone's grandparents!

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  • Summer
    Super August 2018
    Summer ·
    • Flag

    Youtube is great for showing you how to do different dances and there are even videos for good dances in your wedding dress. If I were you I would:

    1. Pick a short song and/or have your bridal party/guests join you halfway through

    2. Watch some videos and decide what type of dance step is easiest that best fits your song. If it's slow, go with the ballroom two-step - very easy. If it's more of a Latin or faster rhythm, I'd suggest salsa. Practice the basic steps awhile then start adding in moves.

    3. Choreograph some simple steps in at regular intervals - doesn't need to be the whole song, the rest of the time just do your basic steps and throw in a few kisses for that "aw" factor - but if you know when you're coming up on a spin or dip, it's so much easier and just like your ceremony, you won't feel as awkward because you'll have a "script" to follow.

    4. Have fun with it! Anyone can dance if you spend a bit of time to learn. You definitely don't need professional lessons to come up with a short, sweet set of moves for your dance.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I had a ballgown and I didn't even bustle it for the first dance at my wedding planners suggestion which I followed in the spur of the moment. She said it looks great in pictures. If you're just swaying and looking romantically in each other's eyes, it works well. I only adjusted my train once so I could keep swaying in a different direction haha.

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  • B
    Devoted September 2018
    Bri ·
    • Flag
    I am so nervous! Plus I'm awkward and can't dance. Maybe have your DJ announce that other couples can join after 30 seconds or something?
    • Reply
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    That's called an anniversary dance. I've seen it done a few times and it's really sweet.

    I agree with the first PP that if you are in the moment with your H, all else will fade away. If you are having a night reception, maybe have the DJ or DOC darken the room around you so you don't see all the guests watching you and just focus on each other.

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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    I'm glad! I'm sure it'll be super memorable and sweet!!!

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  • JENNIFER
    Super May 2019
    JENNIFER ·
    • Flag
    I feel exactly the same. For our first dance after like 2 or 3 mins we are gonna have the DJ invite all other married couples to come on the dance floor. I mean serious I’m over watching a single couple dance in like a minute. lol
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I've seen couples invite other couples to finish their dance with them, so you could do that after just a little of you 2 dancing? They also have Youtube dance lessons, so you could try that!

    • Reply
  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
    • Flag

    We picked a shorter song and cued the attendants and their dates to join us, plus they knew they would be cued to do so! (First wedding, this wedding we had no dance!)

    • Reply
  • AshleyR
    Master October 2016
    AshleyR ·
    • Flag
    I suffer from anxiety as well, I felt a lot of rederivations about doing a first dance but thought if I didn’t do it I might regret it. My husband didn't care much one way or the other. We did end up doing it and I absolutely hated it, I ended up having a panic attack and just closed my eyes and buried my head in his chest trying to control my breathing while he subtly consoled me. I don’t think anyone noticed that I was freaking out, but it felt endless. So it basically went worse than anticipated ☹️
    • Reply
  • H
    Expert July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    We are also going to practice ours as silly as it may sound. We aren't doing anything fancy by any means. But I want to just get used to the beat and stuff haha
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    My DH also suffers from anxiety and didn't want to do a first dance initially. We compromised by dancing the first 30 seconds alone and then had the bandleader invite everyone to join us for the rest of the song. It was one of my favorite memories and my DH relaxed and enjoyed himself once everyone got on the dance floor.

    • Reply
  • Selia
    Super October 2024
    Selia ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    YES! Thank you! I couldn't remember the term! I think an anniversary dance is a sweet way to take the attention off of you and honor all the other married couples at your wedding.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Dedicated March 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    I thinking about cutting it since my hubby dont like the attention and i cant dance at all even with practicing lol we just end up getting frustrated i might just have everyone come together and dance with us rather do alone and just go with it i guess .
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