First Breakdown

Today was my first breakdown.

Between all the uncooperative or unresponsive venues last year.
My grandma going from working full time to being diagnosed with dementia and put in a home.And obviously loosing what she was going to give us monetarily for the wedding.To my bridesmaids dresses being discontinued and having to pick out new ones.The bridal shop ordering the wrong size gown and not figuring it out til I was in the middle of alterations.His aunts backing of hosting 10 more people in their bridal shower, and making me have 2 instead of the one like I wanted.Vendors just telling me to pay later, instead of just taking my money.My favorite cousins not coming to the wedding.People pulling out of attending after they RSVPd, and other people asking if it's ok if they come now.Today my grandmother's nursing home got put on lockdown. Til further notice.She's my only living grandparent, and she's just lost so much in the past year, and apparently now she gets to miss her only grandchild's wedding.This is the first thing that's really bothering me immensely. And the first time this whole wedding planning situation has made me cry.And I'm just. I'm not okay right now.